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Where am I going in my life with girls watch

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    I think that everyone who has given you a response so far may have missed something very crucial. Most girls think that you are irritating and most guys find that you are contradictory, overly complicated or lacking in confidence.

    You originally mentioned that you felt as though your brain was wired incorrectly or maybe damaged somehow, something no one else has touched upon. It could be in fact that your problems are not entirely social, but that your social problems are being exacerbated by an underlying mental condition. I myself went to all boys schools until I was 17 and had barely said two words to girls until the age of 16. I found the transition to be very hard and I originally was so sheltered in the company of boys I considered myself to be gay. I think that your responses and the way that you have dealt with the stimuli (the comments from the girls on here) are rather telling about your psychological make-up. Have you ever been tested for autism? Asperger's Syndrome? Or even social anxiety? If I were you I would consider making an appointment to see your GP and telling him about the way you feel everyday, about how girls make you feel and just be honest and frank. It might help if you find a male GP, of course. I am sure that any GP worth his salt will refer you to speak to a social worker or to a psychologist, who may be able to help you. Under some conditions you can work with a psychologist or clinical nurse using talking therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. At the very least they may offer you the support you need to feel better everyday and not be so burdened by this problem. With an accurate diagnosis of any underlying mental conditions, you can then get the help and support you need rather than being isolated and battered by unhelpful comments and baked goods on here. A social worker will also be able to help you join clubs and sports associations where you will see for yourself that girl members really do enjoy sport and other such apparently masculine activities, just as I know many men who only talk about hair, man-bags and how much fat is in a Starbuck's blueberry muffin. You must be brave and take the first step in your journey if you are truly serious about changing and wanting to feel better. I wish you good luck clunge_muncher, whatever you decide to say and call yourself on here.

    -Cassiel-
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    (Original post by dantethealb)
    Failure to do so, you are not going to get any.
    I have a girlfriend, so why would I need to qualify myself to girls online? :confused:

    Truly baffled.
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    I'll be honest, you need to work on getting a personality. You don't sound like a catch, and you have a false sense of entitlement.
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    Girls are clinically proven to detract from Tripos performance. Forget about them, friend.
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    Don't feel you have to get a girlfriend or that you have to socialise well with girls. Just because society expects it that doesn't mean you have to adhere to the same rules as other people.

    For me, the company of my friends and family is the greatest companionship I could ask for. It doesn't bother me that I can't string a proper sentence together when I am with a girl I don't know.

    Don't worry about it, don't force the issue - you'll find a girl who likes you for who you are and you will be able to talk to her easily.
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    Getting back to the main point of this thread.
    You can't beat a good muffin.
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    and this is exactly what I mean. If a girl's username was ****_licker I wouldn't give two hoots, and nor should any other guy!

    Who gives a ****, just get over it. This is exactly what I mean, fake banal talk.
    maybe its attitude like this - she's got a valid point....just saying
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    to be honest, girls aren't brought up to engage in loads of activities. It's almost natural for them just to try and look pretty and by any means go out and do that. Make-up, shopping and clubbing seems to cover most of their hobbies. Although there are obviously girls who deviate from this norm i.e sporty girls, arty girls etc, there is no pressure for girls to do much else because they don't really need to in order to attract the opposite sex.
    Since women are more emotional creatures, a man has to emotionally appeal to a women. By doing various hobbies such as sport etc,having a nice car he becomes more attractive to a girl because he has more to offer and talk about.

    OP you need to accept this and just try and find girls that appeal to you. You come across as bitter and girls aren't attracted to your negativity. The more positive you are, the more happy she'll be around you.
    All in all, you have a long way to go
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest. This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this? I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap. I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that. But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort. I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes. And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot. Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??

    Yet in the next sentence you try your hardest to make it sound like it is.
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    Let's not play games here. Girls do not play pool, Xbox, go running, have a genuine interest in main sports such as football, cricket, rugby.

    Honestly when I talk to unattractive girls I just sit there bored and end up chatting very nicey nicey sort of topics, such as cake.
    You must be a troll, seriously. I love running, I used to do cross country competitively, I play pool (I'm not very good at it, I'll admit), I like computer games and I'm one of the biggest football fans I know. Most guys think I know nothing about football because 'i don't look the type' and try and catch me out, but never can.

    You are either a troll, or just incredibly pigheaded and ignorant.
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    (Original post by ijustlovetolearn)
    As a girl, growing up i've realised A LOT of girls are boring as hell. The key is to find the girls with 'boys brains'. Theyre very rare, I have a huge group of friends and some of em bore the hell out of me but some of them are brilliant. You're so lucky and I don't know why you're complaining. You get to be friends with guys, be one of the lads. I'm not allowed to do that because of my tits. Guys have such a laugh (more physical things) and it sucks being stuck with girls.
    Yeah true

    I have had many times when I have tried to strike up good convo with girls and you just don't get anything back. I might as well just talk to a wall!

    It's weird now because usually when I talk to a female I have managed to unwillingly develop a boring mode that suits them. There are exceptions though. There was a girl in uni last year that hung out with the guys, and she was good to speak to. She understood my almost relentless jokes!
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    Brownies are good too!
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.
    This to me probably answers the post, you lack confidence in yourself as an attractive sexual being, as someone who can give interesting conversation and good company. If you dont believe it on some level at least, it probably wont happen.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.
    The mistake you make here is assuming that your upbringing will affect your future in a way that cant be changed. Also, dont assume that everyone spends secondary school/a levels partying and having sex, thats not the reality for most.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.
    Imagine what you have written here is an advert for yourself, I certainly wouldnt be tempted to make a purchase, and neither will girls. Put yourself in a position where you care about your appearance, dont become vein or anything, but make that little bit extra effort to look good, keep fit, live an exciting and interesting lifestyle, and other people will want to buy into it, its very attractive.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.
    Oh please. These arrogant guys as you call them are successful with women because they dont whine about how they lack confidence or nobody likes them, they see what they want and they go after it. They are do-ers not moaners. Of course you need to find someone physically attractive, but this is about more than that. You need to feel comfortable talking to any woman, any person full stop, having a youre not good looking enough to warrant my attention attitude will not get you anywhere. You dont have to fit in with the crowd, but you have to respect it, cause its doing better than you are.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest.
    This makes you sound like a bit of a ******** to be honest. If you aren't even interested in what they have to say, why the hell would they want to take an interest in you, let alone want a relationship.
    This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this?
    This is called banter, conversation, god forbid flirting. You cant jump into the closeness and intimcay with someone without having any rapour, without having built a knowledge of each otehr, showing interest in each other and making an effort. If thats want you want get a hooker.
    I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap.
    You're focussing on the wrong things here. She doesnt give a **** if you like cake or not, its called chatting. I find I live a life too interesting and fun to ever need to talk about crap, if you make the most of each day and constantly seek new expereinces you have a lot mroe fulfilling things to talk about.
    I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.
    Then you arent really listening or connecting, probably down to your lack of interest in what any woman has to say, and your dislike of conversation. Women live in the same world as you do, they have dreams and ambitions, they have things they believe in, things that are important to them, assuming its all drinking and shopping is incredibly naiive and narrow minded.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that.
    This is why you have guy friends, there is nothing wrong with this, it doesnt mean girls dont have fun because they dont nessiserily share your interests.
    But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort.
    More assumptions, never assume anything.
    I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes.
    I played pool with some girls last night, I have no idea why you think this way.
    And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot.
    This makes you sound incredibly patronising, and this attitude wont help you get a girlfriend.
    Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.
    Are you kidding me? You dont have brain damage you utter plank, you just lack the inclination to make any effort in spending quality time with women, or in developing your social skills.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.
    Women aren't any more complex than men, but they probably have very slightly different priorities. Give them respect, loyalty, attention, show an interest in their lives, fun and comfort and you are onto a good start. You have to care about people if you want them to care about you.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??
    A simple attitude change would be a great start.
    ..
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest. This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this? I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap. I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that. But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort. I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes. And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot. Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??
    Dude, this is normal, you're just more intellegent or lets say have higher iq then your average cake girl, therefore its easy to be mates with people with lower iq then yours but very hard to be mates with females with lower iq, simple as that, your time will come if you look in the right place.

    Seriously what the **** is with the cakes? Do you know how much sugar and calories are in that cake? Girls eat the cakes like that and then complain on forum on how 'curvy' they are and need to loose few pounds when infact they are ******* fat and ugly.
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    Uh, just find someone with the same interests as you. It's that simple. If you start every conversation with the idea that all the other person wants to talk about is 'cake' or how pretty they are or something 'banal'. Just talk to them like they're, you know, an actual person.

    Although, to be fair, my boyfriend often talks to me about cake. We like cake.
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest. This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this? I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap. I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that. But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort. I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes. And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot. Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??
    http://i467.photobucket.com/albums/r...leFacepalm.jpg
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    you love using but dont you
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    ..
    but how do I change my attitude? It's easier said than done. I can't feel whast I'm doing wrong right now so I don't know how to put it right.
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    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest. This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this? I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap. I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that. But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort. I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes. And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot. Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??

    The bits in bold made me laugh, maybe inappropriately but there's no denying that they did.

    If you see girls as so simple (which, let's face it, is the image you just described) then shouldn't you be finding it easier/less effort to get to know them?

    My advice is that the more you speak to them, the more confident you'll become, start with the unattractive ones then move up.
 
 
 
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