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sex-website cookies on boyfriend's computer watch

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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Come again?
    yeah, your point?
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    (Original post by Notker)
    24/7? Unless he is a spaz then I don't believe it.

    fine dont believe it, do you really think that matters to me :rofl:
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    (Original post by Bslforever)
    Wow. That was the most confusing explanation of a dichotomy ive ever seen!

    Dichotomy : A website is either innocent or pornographic

    this is not the dichotomy she was expressing. She was merely saying Innocent in the context of not having pornography on it. She was not saying that all websites fall into either the cateogory of innocence or the category of pornography.

    You sound like you have studied critical thinking, and have managed to get yourself ever so slightly confused.
    If by 'confusing' you mean 'totally ****ing rigorous'. But yes, I am being an impertinent arse.
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    (Original post by electriic_ink)
    OP, you ought to read this:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust_%...al_sciences%29

    I think I have made it pretty clear throughout this thread that I have trust issues, so this isn't exactly a great revelation.
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    (Original post by Notker)
    No, he tells you that he doesn't.
    Nah, some guys just don't watch porn.

    My ex-boyfriend didn't. Or at least he said he didn't when I asked him immediately after telling him that I did watch porn.
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    Probably just from a random porn website...

    Give the guy a break, let him 'Shake the Paint' for gods sake!
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    (Original post by Lucible)
    Regardless of whether he is or isn't doing things behind your back, your relationship clearly lacks trust and with that lacks any kind of longstanding integrity. There is no point in it if you spend your whole time questioning his actions and nosing into his private things. If you don't trust him, how is a relationship gonna work?

    Because we love each other deeply and he is understanding of my problems. Problems which I am in the process of fixing. I don't plan on being like this forever, I realise that it isn't right. So eventually I will trust him and wont need to question or check up on him.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    If by 'confusing' you mean 'totally ****ing rigorous'. But yes, I am being an impertinent arse.
    Rigorous to some, pedantic to others.

    So that's the enigma that is Profesh.
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    Your friend who insists they only pop up on porn sites is a 'tard. Now stop being a nosy pillock since all you're doing is worrying yourself over ~ nothing.
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    Why the hell are you even looking at his cookies? Whilst I don't advocate cheating, you seem so paranoid about it that it might drive him to it. Ironic, don't you think?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I have made it pretty clear throughout this thread that I have trust issues, so this isn't exactly a great revelation.
    You clearly trust TSR to give you sound and impartial advice but you don't trust your bf. A bit of irony there, don't you think?
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    Oh and virtually all guys watch porn but will deny it to girlfriends because apparantly it makes the insecure ones feel inadequate.
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    Oh and virtually some guys watch porn but will deny it to girlfriends because apparantly it makes the insecure ones feel inadequate.

    fixed
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is fully aware of my trust issues, aware of the fact that I do not trust him, and knows every detail of the past which has made me this way. So no, he doesn't mind.

    I don't know how I would feel. I'm not proud of how I am, and I know that it isn't the right way to treat him. I am doing everything I can to get through it and make myself better - therapy, medication and a ton of self-help books. But there is no easy way to repair the damage of the things that have happened to me in my past. If I could just 'snap out of it' I would, but it doesn't work like that .
    Okay, thats a really mature answer actually. The fact that youre being honest, self-aware and proactive about it is brilliant.

    Ive been cheated on in the past too. I think the way you have to do it is slowly build up the trust. So just force yourself to take risks and if he proves himself to be loyal you'll find it a bit easier to take another risk and trust him next time. One day you'll wake up an realise that hes not your ex - hes somebody else and he isnt a cheater.

    So maybe in this situation give him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldnt think hes lying about the dating websites. Do you honestly think hes meeting people off the internet and meeting up to have sex with them behind your back??

    He could be lying about the pornography but that doesnt mean hes not %100 loyal to you. The vast majority of guys in stable loving relationships still watch porn by themselves when their other half is away from home.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because we love each other deeply and he is understanding of my problems. Problems which I am in the process of fixing. I don't plan on being like this forever, I realise that it isn't right. So eventually I will trust him and wont need to question or check up on him.
    You're not listening to anyone.
    It is possible for them to have come from a huge number of INNOCENT websites.
    Cookies don't really mean very much to be honest.
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    (Original post by electriic_ink)
    You clearly trust TSR to give you sound and impartial advice but you don't trust your bf. A bit of irony there, don't you think?

    Two completely different types of trust. My trust issues stem from bad experiences with MEN (which go far beyond simply cheating), not from bad experiences with internet forums. Further, I wouldn't say that I've asked for advice about whether he's cheating but rather the mechanics of how the internet works. So no, I don't think there is any irony at all.
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    They advertise on Facebook, so I guess that might be why?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How can it be an open and honest relationship if you don't trust that he is telling the truth.
    I think your a bit insecure.
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    Looking through your bf's laptop....that is NOT cool.

    Also, its a bit wierd he feels he needs to hide the fact he goes on porn from you. So I think he maybe telling the truth.

    Dont go through his laptop again.
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    (Original post by halfoflessthan50p)
    Okay, thats a really mature answer actually. The fact that youre being honest, self-aware and proactive about it is brilliant.

    Ive been cheated on in the past too. I think the way you have to do it is slowly build up the trust. So just force yourself to take risks and if he proves himself to be loyal you'll find it a bit easier to take another risk and trust him next time. One day you'll wake up an realise that hes not your ex - hes somebody else and he isnt a cheater.

    So maybe in this situation give him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldnt think hes lying about the dating websites. Do you honestly think hes meeting people off the internet and meeting up to have sex with them behind your back??

    He could be lying about the pornography but that doesnt mean hes not %100 loyal to you. The vast majority of guys in stable loving relationships still watch porn by themselves when their other half is away from home.
    It goes deeper than just having been cheated on, but I understand what you're saying. The thing is I don't think my reassurance can come from him - I've come to realise that the problem is MINE and there is nothing he can do to prove himself. In fact, he's already proven himself - in the last 2 years he's done nothing wrong at all. But it's just difficult to be rational about it when it really comes to blindly trusting him.

    I don't think for one minute that he's been on the dating websites or met anyone behind my back. The thought of him watching pornography makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable but I'm sure I could come to terms with it - I just want him to be honest. If he is watching it then it means he has outright lied to me about it which will upset me but again, I can get over it. I just want him to be honest, I don't want him to keep secrets..
 
 
 
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