Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Wits end...just don't know what to do watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    i'm just really at rock bottom nw.

    I live in a religious family but i myself am not really religious (although none of my family know this). I try my very best to please the people around me. I look after my younger sibling almost every spare minute I have as well as work hard at school but it seems that the tiniest thing I do will be a disappointment or cause for argument in my family.
    My mum just came in, I asked how she was and made her a cup of tea she asks why i didnt contact her all day i say that i asked dad about lher and she just walks away upset and starts complaining how i dont care about her at all to everybody.
    i go to apologise twice and to grovel twice and each time i'm just told to go away. I'm about to go for the third time.

    coming from my family i have no freedom, i hardly go out at all and evenings are a no-no. I've had to hide my boyfriend from my family because they would not allow it which means we barely get to see each other.

    Work is stressing me out and I've gradually lost most of my friends because of my lack of freedom.
    I'm constantly belittled and made to feel guilty at home to the extent where I don't feel comfortable here at all but i always put on the smile because otherwise i'm accuse of ungratefulness

    one time when i made the mistake of buying the wrong pasta my parents started discussing me in full earshot saying what a terrible, lost cause i was, how i wasnt caring and wasnt part of the character. when i started crying, i was shouted at for being upset.



    i just dont know what to do
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Say nothing and then ram them in a grotty old people's home when they are elderly, leaving them to rot in their own filth, as revenge. Preferrably guilt trip them and blame them for all that goes wrong in your life in order to get more of the will.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    mum finally let me say sorry
    told me i was a terrible daughter with no concept of establishing a good relationship
    and sarcastically told me that she can now see what it would be like when i go to uni.

    i hate the fact that i know its a big guilt trip but that it completely works
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'd have thrown the tea in her face tbh
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Move out and avoid contact until they wise up.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    i couldn't do that.
    for one i completely depend on them...financially at least

    and i'd be totally by myself.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Are you Asian?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by LaughingBro)
    Are you Asian?
    yes, why?
    Offline

    14
    If it gets too much, get a job and move out. You shouldn't have to live like that :hugs:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Your going to have to stand up for your-self dont let them walk all over you. Make a stand but do it in a decent way.. tell them why you want to go out and if they still dont listen just go anyway they cant physically stop you'll be able to prove it to them that you still need your freedom they can't restrict you all their lives.

    If their belittling you aswell dont act like a doormat, speak up back.
    If you ignore them when they talk to you like taht after you've made your views clear the'yll finally get the message and hopefully leave you be.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    "Oii, mum, you're a fat, ugly son of a *****. You don't want my tea? *throw tea at her* How dya like that, punk".

    or

    Poo on her while she sleeps.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cesare Borgia)
    Say nothing and then ram them in a grotty old people's home when they are elderly, leaving them to rot in their own filth, as revenge. Preferrably guilt trip them and blame them for all that goes wrong in your life in order to get more of the will.
    sadly, as a care assistant, I have seen this happen to quite a few of the residents At least the place I work at isn't disgusting.

    How old are you OP? Any chance you can move out soon, or go off to uni?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    ill be off to uni this autumn.

    but i have a horrible feeling it wont end there.
    asian families seem to stick
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    Make them read this thread... hopefully they'll realise what they're doing to you and maybe seeing other people's reactions will show them they need to give you more freedom.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    omg OP i know how your feeling im from an Asian family and trust me when you start university use this excuse 'mum im going to be late coming from univeristy as they rescheduled my lecture and need to head to the libary for my course work and goin to stay a bit longer because on the societies i joined i need to attend as it relates to the course im doin' trust me this works all the time for and i end up getting away with it i say im in one place and end up being in the cinemas with the guy whom i like dearly and going to nandos lol just have some evidence for a back up carry a text book even if its litlle shove some papers inside it to show that you came back from university.....i ve lost all mates as well buh trust me you end up finding some one way or the other even if it means randomly adding people over facebook for fun next thing you knows their your mates for life lol.....my mum use to be like that now she aint becuase she knows im turning 20 soon and for her to treat me like a child and chuck things at me its embarrassing for her .... so dont worry just be patient with time
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    May I ask what religion your household is?

    It is clear your family are too controlling. This is very dangerous and is hurting you in so many ways. Some of these you can't see now but will see in the future when you leave for University.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes, why?
    sounds like a typical Asian problem, no offence! :lol:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 25, 2010
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.