I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and for most of the time I've worshipped the ground he walks on. I genuinely love him to bits. But lately, I've been feeling a bit... restless? I'm having doubts about the relationship. In the past, he's had doubts numerous times, been quite jealous and we've had a lot of problems. Most recently, he told me he "cared less about me" than he used to (I was told this just before Christmas and it's since been resolved, but it's just an example of the types of issues). That's made me feel insecure about how stable the relationship is. It's my first big relationship, and my first love and I keep wondering if maybe there would be someone who I could have similar good times with, but less of the bad? We've always been really up and down. The thought of being with one person forever is starting to scare me, as we're pretty serious. But is this just a case of "the grass is always greener"?
Aside from that, we're in an LDR, which is quite tough going. It takes up a lot of time and money to maintain our relationship. When we're together, everything is genuinely amazing, but when we're not, well, our msn conversations don't really make me as over the top happy as they used to- though I still enjoy them. There's also the fact that I have a tiny crush on someone else, which would be fine if I didn't have all these other problems to deal with, but isn't really coming at the best time right now.
I'm sorry this has been such a ramble, I'm just trying to articulate all the thoughts that are going round in my head. I've talked to my boyfriend and he's said he doesn't want to be with someone who doubts our relationship so much. That's fair enough really, so I've been given a week to decide, and I'm going to visit him this weekend. I really have no idea how to sort out my thoughts and decide what I want though, and I really don't want to cause him any pain What should I do?
(thanks if you read all this, btw)
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I have genuinely never been so confused in my life watch
- Thread Starter
- 25-01-2010 22:29
- 25-01-2010 23:26
i've had those kinda thoughts as well lol - and im in pretty much same situation as u with LDR and that, and ive been with him for nearly 3 years. i guess it was that i didnt have the same level of attention from him as i used to and other guys were interested....but it went back to normal and was just a phase. the difference for me is, i was never going to leave him lol it's forever and i love him too much. it all depends on how strong ur feelings for him are, just dont stay for the wrong reasons, namely thats its ur first relationship etc etc. if he says he cares less about u and all that lol maybe u could find something better. sorry this was sort of ambiguous but it's a seriously hard decision (as u know) so just think about whether or not u want to be with this guy forever, and if not maybe the resltessness means its the right time to go
- 25-01-2010 23:58
I felt the same way the first time I saw Donnie Darko. Still don't quite get what happened at the end of that film.
Anyway, this is a tricky one. Something's obviously not right if you're really having to struggle to get things to work. Sounds like it could be time to move on but you're better placed than anyone on here to know what's for the best.
- 26-01-2010 00:25
i know what you are going through. me and my now ex bf were together 14 months. After 11 months i moved to uni but came back home at weekends for job and to see him so I totally know what you mean with the msn and text convos. but when i was with him eveything was ok. but every so often we would have stupid fights and being away at uni was hard to and also kinda had the same problem with get jelous.
if you are having doubts this is a gd time to finish it. there is no point in keeping your boyfriend holding on. It was him that finished me. I knew we had to finish but didnt want to. it was my first relationship and first love. Not everyone stays with their first love. I love him yet but i never see me marrying him. ther is someone suited for everyone out ther. You are only young and have the rest of your life ahead of you