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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    but the fact is you wont KNOW if its just a one off or not, weve all seen the stories, woman gets hit man says sorry begs for forgiveness, says it wont happen again etc then it does happen time and time again, each time ending with the man saying sorry and begging for another chance

    could you really live your life wondering what he would do the next time you pissed him off?

    **** that! no one should have to walk on egg shells in a relationship
    I guess different people have different terms on this sort of matter.
    There are some that would offer a second chance if their partner cheated- is this really that different?

    I'm sure it would shake up trust for a while, but as long as you're strong enough to say "two strikes and you're out" I don't see the problem with a second chance. One case of begging for forgiveness is considerable, twice and you know it's not worth it.

    Ech I know people won't agree with me on this maybe I'm too forgiving, but it's just the way it seems to me and I'm not a particularly weak willed person :dontknow:
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    If you love someone, you don't hit them; if they hit you, they don't love you, no matter what they say. If your boyfriend hits you, put on an act, sob a bit, then when he's off balance, belt him across the face with a chair, if he's still concious, belt him again or run like hell dependant on how dazed he is, then get your stuff and go as fast as possible.
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    (Original post by ourlastmemory)
    I guess different people have different terms on this sort of matter.
    There are some that would offer a second chance if their partner cheated- is this really that different?

    I'm sure it would shake up trust for a while, but as long as you're strong enough to say "two strikes and you're out" I don't see the problem with a second chance. One case of begging for forgiveness is considerable, twice and you know it's not worth it.

    Ech I know people won't agree with me on this maybe I'm too forgiving, but it's just the way it seems to me and I'm not a particularly weak willed person :dontknow:
    well cheating is emotional hurt and hitting is physical hurt so kinda the same (btw i wouldnt fogive cheating either)


    im sorry but to me thats not being strong, thats being a door mat, if you let them get away with stuff like this they know in the back of their mind that you will put up with it at least once more
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    well cheating is emotional hurt and hitting is physical hurt so kinda the same (btw i wouldnt fogive cheating either)


    im sorry but to me thats not being strong, thats being a door mat, if you let them get away with stuff like this they know in the back of their mind that you will put up with it at least once more
    They may THINK they know that, it doesn't make it true does it? I don't see why you can't let your partner know, on no uncertain terms, that if they do it again you are leaving them for good without consideration, and why you shouldn't be able to follow that through.
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    (Original post by ourlastmemory)
    They may THINK they know that, it doesn't make it true does it? I don't see why you can't let your partner know, on no uncertain terms, that if they do it again you are leaving them for good without consideration, and why you shouldn't be able to follow that through.
    because a lot of women wouldnt do that, a lot of women would say third strike and you are out, 4th, 5th etc etc and bang before you know it the man knows he can do whatever the hell he wants because his wife is naive/stupid/a door mat/a mug etc

    nah sorry i dont forgive certain things, physical abuse being one of them
    • #11
    #11

    I really wouldn't hit back, I'm not strong at all and have a very small build...it'd probably just make him more angry anyway and have no impact at all. Pathetic thing is I'd just cry and run off.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    because a lot of women wouldnt do that, a lot of women would say third strike and you are out, 4th, 5th etc etc and bang before you know it the man knows he can do whatever the hell he wants because his wife is naive/stupid/a door mat/a mug etc

    nah sorry i dont forgive certain things, physical abuse being one of them
    Your attitude towards victims of abuse is disgusting. Thank goodness you're in the minority - if everyone in society was so derogatory I can't imagine how hellish it would be for abused women.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    I would hit him back and then leave. I know two wrongs dont make a right, but it would make me feel a lot better.
    Would you balls hit him back. If he has bottle to smack you, whilst, may I add, asserting correct authority, he wouldn't hesitate to deck you. Then how would you leave?
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    (Original post by ourlastmemory)
    I guess different people have different terms on this sort of matter.
    There are some that would offer a second chance if their partner cheated- is this really that different?

    I'm sure it would shake up trust for a while, but as long as you're strong enough to say "two strikes and you're out" I don't see the problem with a second chance. One case of begging for forgiveness is considerable, twice and you know it's not worth it.

    Ech I know people won't agree with me on this maybe I'm too forgiving, but it's just the way it seems to me and I'm not a particularly weak willed person :dontknow:
    Well either you don't know this guy very well, or he's got a secret violent side to him. Most people these days never resort to violence because they know it's wrong, even when they're extremely angry/drunk. So the way I'd see it, if after he hit me (and I know this guy pretty well) he acted normally, instead of immediately begging me for forgiveness, it would seem like it wasn't a one off. If he *was* sorry, and possibly drunk/upset in another area of his life, I would forgive him only once, and only after a LOT of begging, promises, him trying to make it up to me for at least a month. So I see where you're coming from, but only if you knew the guy really well, loved him, etc for you to know it's some sort of blip he was having, rather than him being a violent guy that could erupt another time and stab you.
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    Your attitude towards victims of abuse is disgusting. Thank goodness you're in the minority - if everyone in society was so derogatory I can't imagine how hellish it would be for abused women.
    Just what I was thinking.
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    Probably be really shocked tbh
    I'd cry nd leave ...situation depends whether I'd break up with him or not
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    because a lot of women wouldnt do that, a lot of women would say third strike and you are out, 4th, 5th etc etc and bang before you know it the man knows he can do whatever the hell he wants because his wife is naive/stupid/a door mat/a mug etc

    nah sorry i dont forgive certain things, physical abuse being one of them
    That's a pretty degrading generalisation and a clear ignorance towards what most victims of real abuse actually go through.


    Anyway, to the original point, this debate isn't going to go anywhere at all so whatever really. I understand why people would leave, but I'm just saying this shouldn't necessarily apply to every situation ever.
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    why's everyone saying they'd hit him back? really guys, its all about kickinggg their balls! :nod:
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    Your attitude towards victims of abuse is disgusting. Thank goodness you're in the minority - if everyone in society was so derogatory I can't imagine how hellish it would be for abused women.

    i think weve already established i do not care what you think of me
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    (Original post by microfatcat)
    Well either you don't know this guy very well, or he's got a secret violent side to him. Most people these days never resort to violence because they know it's wrong, even when they're extremely angry/drunk. So the way I'd see it, if after he hit me (and I know this guy pretty well) he acted normally, instead of immediately begging me for forgiveness, it would seem like it wasn't a one off. If he *was* sorry, and possibly drunk/upset in another area of his life, I would forgive him only once, and only after a LOT of begging, promises, him trying to make it up to me for at least a month. So I see where you're coming from, but only if you knew the guy really well, loved him, etc for you to know it's some sort of blip he was having, rather than him being a violent guy that could erupt another time and stab you.
    Yes totally, and I agree it's not something that should be accepted by any means- I wouldn't lie down and take it that's for sure, I'd do whatever I could to display that it was unacceptable, but I don't know if my actions would be as drastic as to drop it all without a second thought tis all..
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    Your attitude towards victims of abuse is disgusting. Thank goodness you're in the minority - if everyone in society was so derogatory I can't imagine how hellish it would be for abused women.
    You must have a lot of optimism to think she's in the minority or that these attitudes don't already make it hellish for abuse victims.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    i think weve already established i do not care what you think of me
    I think from other people's responses its clear I'm not the only one who has a problem with your ignorance and rudeness. Perhaps you should consider what people are saying for once, and see if this is really how you want to come across to people.

    Having an opinion is one thing, being offensive and derogatory to your fellow female is another.
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    he would be straight out the door noway would i put up with that !!!
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    (Original post by nellydee)
    why's everyone saying they'd hit him back? really guys, its all about kickinggg their balls! :nod:
    Because that's not fun! Have you ever given someone a good hard slap? It's so satisfying :yep:
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    (Original post by ormaybeitsjustnarcissism)
    Because that's not fun! Have you ever given someone a good hard slap? It's so satisfying :yep:
    yeah, i sure have.... but the way guys double up when you kick them in the balls and scream like a girl :love: nothing is more satisfying!!

    wow, i sound like a tormenter.
 
 
 
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