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Will I ever forget my first love? watch

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    First off, I'm not a clueless teenager. I'm in my mid twenties. I've only ever had one lover. We are still together but I have known that he is not the one for me for well over a year now (we've been together for two years or so).

    There is no excitement there, no passion, no tenderness. But I love him with all my heart. We are both each others first love, and for that reason it hurts so much for me to imagine I could find happiness with someone else. Plus, if he was the kind of person to let me go it would be easier, but he says he can see us spending all our lives together. I can't see that at all but at the same time, I can't imagine sharing a kiss, a bed, a future with someone else.

    We are both so comfortable with each other, I just can't begin to think of anyone else, even though I've had many opportunities to meet different guys.

    I'm stuck, I can't imagine life with him...or without him. Sometimes I just wish I'd never met him
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    Forget? No. You're unlikely to ever forget anybody you've been in a serious relationship with.

    Get over? Yes. If you end up breaking up with him, after a while you will move on.
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    aww
    i think ur probably feeling like you cant imagine yourself with anyone else because you are so loyal to him. If you really feel as if you need to meet someone else to spend ur life with, then I'd suggest going on a break and seeing how it goes with other guys. If ur still not attracted to anybody else maybe emotions of passion, excitement etc will grow
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    You never stop loving someone, you just fall more in love with someone else ( or not, hopefully the first one)
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    (Original post by lareneg)
    Forget? No. You're unlikely to ever forget anybody you've been in a serious relationship with.

    Get over? Yes. If you end up breaking up with him, after a while you will move on.
    It's as if he has a hold over me. He wants us to be together forever. I wish we could've been too but he just isn't the one, even though I feel so comfortable with him through habit.
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    (Original post by Kisskoli)
    aww
    i think ur probably feeling like you cant imagine yourself with anyone else because you are so loyal to him. If you really feel as if you need to meet someone else to spend ur life with, then I'd suggest going on a break and seeing how it goes with other guys. If ur still not attracted to anybody else maybe emotions of passion, excitement etc will grow
    He would never agree to going on a break. He is with me but he may as well not be because he feels like a brother/friend. I've told him this lots when we've argued but he keeps pushing on at the relationship because he doesn't want to accept it, plus he doesn't share those feelings. I keep thinking of other guys, I feel so bored and stagnant with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's as if he has a hold over me. He wants us to be together forever. I wish we could've been too but he just isn't the one, even though I feel so comfortable with him through habit.
    If you don't think the relationship has a future, then end it. I know it sounds harsh but you will get over it, and will find somebody else who you love more.
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    I'm sorry to hear the situation that you are in and I know this si not the answer you want to hear but you shall never forget your first love no matter how hard you try, to be honest any person you have fallen in love with will always hold a plac ein your heart, whether you wnat them to or not.
    The best advice I give to you if you both feel the same and that you don't see a future together is to both have a break from each other and experience life apart from each other and experiement with other people, but remember you have both agreed to a break so don't start getting jealous or nothing.....like on 'friends' for instance haha
    Thats the best advice I can give to you and if you both feel that that doesn't work and you are know you are right for each other then I definately suggest getting back with each other, BUT and I emphasise that but, you must talk over things before doing so as theres no point in going back to what you have now if what you have now is not making you happy
    Well I hope I have helped and shed some light on what you should do. Any other questions feel free to message me of whatever
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He would never agree to going on a break. He is with me but he may as well not be because he feels like a brother/friend. I've told him this lots when we've argued but he keeps pushing on at the relationship because he doesn't want to accept it, plus he doesn't share those feelings. I keep thinking of other guys, I feel so bored and stagnant with him.
    surely he would want your happiness just as much as you want his, if you love each other so strongly. explain to him when you are both calm so he doesn't think you are just saying it to hurt him in an argument. At the end of the day though, life is too short- i'm sure he will get over you soon enough and you with him. End it nicely and even though it'l be sooo hard initially don't let yourself fall back into him- stay strong! and you really will find someone who excites you
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    (Original post by lareneg)
    If you don't think the relationship has a future, then end it. I know it sounds harsh but you will get over it, and will find somebody else who you love more.
    I think I will just about get over it (although I will miss him tonnes) but he will be heartbroken. I just can't explain I wish I could have him as a close friend forever because I really care for him and we have such a unique relationship but meet that guy who makes me feel passionate and excited again.
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    He wouldn't agree to go on a break!? What a lunatic.

    He can't be allowed to have that much 'power' in the relationship, you're two people not one under the other's thumb. If you're not happy and want a break, then tell him. You have just as much right to a break if you want one, you don't have to ask his permission.
    From the sounds of it, he likes having control. And to me, that's not the sort of relationship you want to be in.
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    Meh you'll get over it but you won't forget him.
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    its been 6 months and i cant get my ex gf out of my head!!! its soo fkn frustrating, i feel i cant move on where as she seems to have moved on as if he past 3 years didnt mean a fkn thing....give me strength...dumped without even a decent reason...some girls...u think ul be with them for the rest of ur life n then they drop a bombshell on you..gutted...sorry about the rant
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    He wouldn't agree to go on a break!? What a lunatic.

    He can't be allowed to have that much 'power' in the relationship, you're two people not one under the other's thumb. If you're not happy and want a break, then tell him. You have just as much right to a break if you want one, you don't have to ask his permission.
    From the sounds of it, he likes having control. And to me, that's not the sort of relationship you want to be in.
    He is really controlling and deeply insecure. I just find it so hard to do anything because he is so vulnerable and sad in his life. I feel suffocated and drained by his problems. If I were to tell him, he'd get angry at me and ignore me, or send me verbally abusive messages.

    In the same breath though, I too feel close with him, like I could never meet someone else.. even though I know he is not the one. It's just a messy situation.
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    Stop leading him on.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    He wouldn't agree to go on a break!? What a lunatic.

    He can't be allowed to have that much 'power' in the relationship, you're two people not one under the other's thumb. If you're not happy and want a break, then tell him. You have just as much right to a break if you want one, you don't have to ask his permission.
    From the sounds of it, he likes having control. And to me, that's not the sort of relationship you want to be in.

    Doesn't "going on a break" mean "fuc*ing with someone else without cheating"?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is really controlling and deeply insecure. I just find it so hard to do anything because he is so vulnerable and sad in his life. I feel suffocated and drained by his problems. If I were to tell him, he'd get angry at me and ignore me, or send me verbally abusive messages.

    In the same breath though, I too feel close with him, like I could never meet someone else.. even though I know he is not the one. It's just a messy situation.
    You're putting that 'mental block' there on your own. There is, in reality, nothing stopping you from parting company from each other. I understand how scary it must be to go from being in a comfortable, habitual relationship for so long, into singledom, but surely it's worth taking that risk if at the end of the day, you're going to be happier in yourself?

    Take some time to think about your options, and set yourself a goal of when you're going to make a final decision. Don't let yourself get swept up in 'settling' if that's not what you want, so make it easier for yourself by keeping yourself motivated to keeping yourself happy.
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    (Original post by reems23)
    Stop leading him on.
    I'm not. I've told him so many times in the past how I feel but he just stares into space and changes the subject. Even if he knows I'm unhappy, he'd rather see me with him and unhappy than with someone else but happy. He won't admit to it but it's obvious.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not. I've told him so many times in the past how I feel but he just stares into space and changes the subject. Even if he knows I'm unhappy, he'd rather see me with him and unhappy than with someone else but happy. He won't admit to it but it's obvious.
    Then leave him. He's using you and you're being used.
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    (Original post by Moa)
    Doesn't "going on a break" mean "fuc*ing with someone else without cheating"?
    Erm, surely that depends on the couple and their terms of agreement?

    In my book, a break is time apart to reassess feelings for each other. Not to shag other people. But that's just my take on it. *shrugs*
 
 
 
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