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I 'more than like' a new friend - need some advice please watch

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    Hi all,

    I'm new to the forum, but i felt i should try get some advice before i go do something stupid, and this seemed the perfect place for it..

    Long story short, there's this girl i've known and chatted to on and off for about a year, and recently we've spent a helluva lot of time together. She has a boyfriend of 2 years+, tho says it's kinda rocky at the moment and she wouldn't say that if it wasn't really in trouble.

    I have liked her from day 1 and i have recently started to develop really strong feelings for her.

    She laughs and has a great time when she's with me, and we talk a lot whether we're out and about or on the phone etc. I've met a few of her friends and they all seem cool with me.

    I really wanna tell her how i feel, and yet i am very VERY hesitant because of the chance of losing her altogether if she feels i'm abusing the closeness of what we have. I'm not here to only ask whether to tell her or not, but a few other questions as well so please go ahead and answer as many as you can..


    1. Should i tell her now, if it means possibly losing a friendship i am enjoying being a part of?

    2. Should i try and wait until the outcome of the rockiness is clear, and then make a move? If so, how do i play a supportive part without sounding like i'm after her? How long would i wait if their thing ended before i 'made a move'?

    3. Have any of you been approached in this way by a boy/girl? How did it turn out, and why?

    4. How can you tell when someone who says they're with someone else likes you 'in that way'?

    Please help - i've developed late as an adult and so some of these questions might seem childish or trivial or obvious to some, the potential outcomes are tearing me apart.

    Huggzy
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    Out of curiosity, has she told you why it's rocky? And if so, can you tell us why?
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    Seems they have grown apart because of distance mainly (he lives far away and works all hours) and sudden changes in relationship dynamics e.g. things that used to be acceptable between the two of them ages ago aren't so acceptable now
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    To be honest, I wouldn't make any kind of move unless they are seperated....otherwise you could lose a good friend. :O(

    I once met an amazing man. I knew he had a gf. I was so bowled over by him, that I had to tell him, in a sincere manner and with 100% respect to him and his gf, how amazing he really was. Boy do I now wish I hadn't!!!! Things progressed between us, which wasn't either our intentions, and I would say that we both came out hurting because of it. :O(


    At the end, I made the mistake of telling him that I was in love with him, which was wrong and unnecessary, and he immediately broke the friendship off. I'm fine with it as I respect his decision, apart from being very sad at losing a close friend, but I am now left wondering if he thinks that I was only being his friend in the hope that I could 'steal' him. Which was never the case, but there you go.......

    You COULD tell her that you think that she is something special etc, but you could then be putting her in the situation where she feels even more confused over her current relationship-which isn't the right way to 'try' and start a new relationship. If you really care for her, you wouldn't put her through that.

    And be careful, you could end up in a vicious cycle with plenty of ups and downs. It's not nice. Stick to being there for her as a friend and keep your options open. And NEVER encourage them to break up, as that is down right evil! Let her make her own mind up, and if she wants to improve her current relationship, then as a friend, you should be there for her to HELP her.

    Love doesn't have to be selfish.
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    am i even in a place to be able to MAKE a move when they're separated - won't she see me as too much of a friend already blah blah?
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    they look like they'll be getting back together anyway - ah well..
 
 
 
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