Anon or delete please...
Hi guys & gals,
My girlfriend and I broke up a short while ago (about a week and a half).
We had been together a long time, nearly 3 years, and had been together since college. I was in the year above so went to university, and then she came to the same university this september.
When she broke up with me she said she wasn't happy, that we weren't as happy as we used to be and that we argued a lot over tiny little things. She said she wished things could go back to how they were when we were happier.
She wants to be friends, as she says i'm her best friend and always will be. She's shared a lot with me that she hasn't with anyone else about her personal life.
She has also said she wants to be friends and see how things go from there...
Any advice, what should I do? Be friends? Or cut contact completely? I don't want to get over her, we're both heartbroken and she still says she loves me etc etc.
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Long-term relationship just broke up watch
- 26-01-2010 12:00
- 26-01-2010 17:14
I think you should cut all contact in the short term. Do a bit of healing on your own then you can reassess what kind of relationship you have with her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder anyhow, so who knows?
- 26-01-2010 17:15
Don't contact her for a while, otherwise you won't get your head clear.
- 26-01-2010 17:18
The wise decision would be to cut contact all together. You're still gonna have feelings for her, and it'll be tough, but this will be the quickest way to get over her. By simply keeping in contact with her, you'll start believing that there is another chance with her and you'll go through all of the heartbreak all over again.
- CV Helper
- 26-01-2010 17:30
I split up with my bf of 3 years in December and I wanted to stay friends, but that backfired when he continued to try and control my life even though we weren't together any more! I would suggest cutting contact for a while just to get over her, and if you feel you can be friends afterwards then by all means do it. I wish my ex and I were still friends but I can't be friends with someone who actually said to me "I can't stand seeing you happy"
- 31-01-2010 20:09
We are at the same uni, and I have no real friends that I can rely on - we would spend most of our spare time together every day, so right now i'm lonely and bored all day every day, with no friends to spend time with.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how this can be made easier?
- 31-01-2010 20:17
My 5 yr relationship broke up on thursday, its long distance, and all my friends left uni last year so i'm feeling really isolated atm. I'm talking to 2 on msn or texting when i just need to talk, and writing a diary to try and remind me why i'm annoyed. I've not even got a reaon atm, i've been told there is one, but i'm not gonna be told yet.
I'm watching any dvd i can get hold of, and trying to start my dissertation. I've not managed to cut total contact as im too used to thinking about them constantly, but limiting emails to things that they would like, and trying not to expect a response.
- 31-01-2010 20:23
the main problem is, this person wants to be friends - if i contact them, they respond!
I just don't know what to do, i've never felt more alone in my life than i do right now.
- 31-01-2010 20:29
Oh they want to be friends, i've been through so much with them, and they commented 'i give the best advice ever'. I've known them for 10 years, and best friends for most of them.
Sometimes i get a response, others i dont. As said i'm doing a diary and thats helping a bit. Could ask them not to respond for a period of time.. My problem is i know the number by heart so cant forget. same with email.
But i just want a hug and theres literally no one here to give me one.
- 31-01-2010 20:47
With the time we spend together, we do genuinely make each other happy as friends. Neither of us has particularly good friends at uni so we rely on each other quite a lot.
What would you all advise? Cut contact and get over her, or be friends?
Only problem with being friends is I want more and can't see that changing anytime soon.
- 31-01-2010 20:49
If you want to be more than friends, your gonna have to wait til you dont want to, as otherwise i think its harder for you, and unfair on her. So i would cut contact.