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    I'm a 20 year old male, and suffer from bad premature ejaculation - if I don't stop, then I'm done within 10-15 seconds. I started having sex 15 months ago, but this only started happening about a year ago. It's really getting to me - my girlfriend needs a minute or so to 'warm up' to be able to get any enjoyment out of sex, and by that time I'm done. I could easily go again immediately, and last a 'normal' amount of time, but my girlfriend can't take the pill/implant, and won't have the coil.

    I have a massive sex drive, and so forget about the limited time I can last, only to feel disappointed and embarrassed when we start having sex and I'm immediately close.

    How easily will doctors dish out anti-depressants for this sort of thing? I was on sertraline (quite a large dose) when I was single, which made me last a long time (50+ mins). Would they be willing to put me back on it, albeit a lower dose? It's an embarrassing subject which I really don't want to talk about with anyone. My girlfriend is fine with it, but I remember the days when we went for an hour+, and those seem like long, distant but enjoyable memories. It's ruined our sex life and has damaged our relationship because I feel so down about it.

    Any advice/opinions on whether a doctor would be willing to give me medication for it, or other solutions, greatly appreciated.
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    Go to your doctors and ask them. Loads of guys suffer from it, my boyfriend included.
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    Fap immediately before having sex and/or wear a condom.

    Oh look, problem solved without the answer GIMME DRUGZ.
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    (Original post by ozzyoscy)
    Fap immediately before having sex and/or wear a condom.

    Oh look, problem solved without the answer GIMME DRUGZ.
    Tried it. Tried masturbating 3/4 times in the daytime before having sex later on - still doesn't work. It's only penetrative sex I have a problem with - oral/hand and I go for 10-15 minutes, and to an extent can control it just by tensing the little fellow, but that doesn't work during sex - if anything it makes it worse.

    I wear a condom, but it doesn't do anything to slow me down. Like I said, that's the only method of contraception available to us, so I can't just carry on once I've ejaculated as eventually it'd split. Withdrawing for anything longer than a few seconds just puts me back to square one and finishing prematurely.

    move_along - has your boyfriend been to the doctors about it? Been given any tablets etc for it?

    Thanks.
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    Man im in the exact same boat, but i cant have anti-depressants for it as im already on mood stabilizers
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Man im in the exact same boat, but i cant have anti-depressants for it as im already on mood stabilizers
    How are you both coping with it - do you try and avoid sex like the plague, or do you forget until you start doing it? Was it something that just started happening one day, or have you always been like it?

    Luckily my girlfriend has been very supportive, but I'm not kidding myself when she says she'd rather be touched. I know that's not true, and I'm sure she knows I realise that. It'd be easier to just carry on after finishing, but like I've said she won't have the coil. I often think things would be much better if she did, but it's her decision and I respect that.

    How has it affected your relationship?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How are you both coping with it - do you try and avoid sex like the plague, or do you forget until you start doing it? Was it something that just started happening one day, or have you always been like it?

    Luckily my girlfriend has been very supportive, but I'm not kidding myself when she says she'd rather be touched. I know that's not true, and I'm sure she knows I realise that. It'd be easier to just carry on after finishing, but like I've said she won't have the coil. I often think things would be much better if she did, but it's her decision and I respect that.

    How has it affected your relationship?
    Well, basically, i hope each time that it will be better; it never is, in fact i would say that i'm getting worse. We didn't even get to sex the other day and i was done. She says its fine, but how can it be?? Then i get really funny about it all and keep blaming myself (i have a depressive mood disorder), this in turn creates a bad vibe for a bit.... so yeah, its not a great scenario. I just want to be able to actually please her properly for once, be able to be that intimate.

    I feel your pain mate.
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    And no, was not always like this, i used to be ok
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, basically, i hope each time that it will be better; it never is, in fact i would say that i'm getting worse. We didn't even get to sex the other day and i was done. She says its fine, but how can it be?? Then i get really funny about it all and keep blaming myself (i have a depressive mood disorder), this in turn creates a bad vibe for a bit.... so yeah, its not a great scenario. I just want to be able to actually please her properly for once, be able to be that intimate.

    I feel your pain mate.
    We go into it thinking exactly the same things. Girlfriend reckons it's psychological, and that if I don't think about it then it won't happen. Have you tried thinking of different things? I've tried everything, nothing works & I just have some pretty weird thoughts in my head as I'm getting close ("think of your Nanna" etc). I've come close numerous times before we've even started, though it's never come out. I'm sure it'll happen one day though. Do you ever manage to go again or by that point are you put off so much that you'd rather be somewhere else?

    I think every male blames themself. We're meant to be able to pleasure them but it's impossible. The 'reassuring' words aren't reassuring and that's where the arguments begin. We've had huge arguments that have been triggered by my own shortcomings, and that's not good for either of us, I'm guessing it's the same for you. The feeling of inadequacy is the biggest thing.

    Any idea what started yours? Mine started the first time we had sex at her Mum & Dad's house - they were watching TV in the next room, and I'd not even spoken to them properly so there was an extra fear they'd walk in. It was about the same time she became ill, as well as her ex sniffing around and her not knowing how she felt etc. It was a difficult time to say the least. I don't know which one it is, maybe it's none of them, but apparently stress can play a major part in it.
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    You said you can easily go again and last a normal to time if you come once, but just said masturbating immediately before doesn't work. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by ozzyoscy)
    You said you can easily go again and last a normal to time if you come once, but just said masturbating immediately before doesn't work. :dontknow:
    Yep, for whatever reason it doesn't.
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    Lmfaoooooo 10-15 Seconds What A Loser!!! Hahahahaha
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mine started the first time we had sex at her Mum & Dad's house - they were watching TV in the next room, and I'd not even spoken to them properly so there was an extra fear they'd walk in. It was about the same time she became ill, as well as her ex sniffing around and her not knowing how she felt etc. It was a difficult time to say the least. I don't know which one it is, maybe it's none of them, but apparently stress can play a major part in it.
    Yeah, that's not a combination that's going to help you have longer sex, is it? Going 'argh' about it won't help either: feeling a 'failure' reinforces itself.

    It is interesting that you can last longer when masturbating / via oral sex - it does point to this being in your mind.

    The basic technique to lasting longer is to be aware of when you're about to come, then doing something different to reduce your arousal. Thinking of granny or whatever doesn't really address the basic issue. Why have sex and think of things you don't like? Similarly with penis-numbing condoms: you might as well wear a strap-on.

    If you think only drugs will work, then it's off to the GPs saying you're feeling depressed (true). If the dose of whatever is too high, cut the pills up. With your belief that it's the only solution, it would probably work if they prescribed Smarties, provided you didn't realise.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not kidding myself when she says she'd rather be touched. I know that's not true
    .. because all women only enjoy 50+ min long intercourse, right?

    Particularly if you're going 'argh' about this every time, you could try believing her. Not every **** has to last for hours for both partners to enjoy and be glad they had it. If she really wanted endless sex every time, you'd be wearing that strap-on.
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    (Original post by chelski786)
    Lmfaoooooo 10-15 Seconds What A Loser!!! Hahahahaha
    lmao, how supportive.
    dont worry OP, you'll be a real man someday.





    ...maybe.
    • #1
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    Yeah, that's not a combination that's going to help you have longer sex, is it? Going 'argh' about it won't help either: feeling a 'failure' reinforces itself.

    It is interesting that you can last longer when masturbating / via oral sex - it does point to this being in your mind.

    The basic technique to lasting longer is to be aware of when you're about to come, then doing something different to reduce your arousal. Thinking of granny or whatever doesn't really address the basic issue. Why have sex and think of things you don't like? Similarly with penis-numbing condoms: you might as well wear a strap-on.

    If you think only drugs will work, then it's off to the GPs saying you're feeling depressed (true). If the dose of whatever is too high, cut the pills up. With your belief that it's the only solution, it would probably work if they prescribed Smarties, provided you didn't realise.



    .. because all women only enjoy 50+ min long intercourse, right?

    Particularly if you're going 'argh' about this every time, you could try believing her. Not every **** has to last for hours for both partners to enjoy and be glad they had it. If she really wanted endless sex every time, you'd be wearing that strap-on.
    Thanks. I'm aware when I'm about to come, and we stop for a few seconds and start again. Granny doesn't help, and before christmas I bought performas (they numb the feeling but still don't work).

    I realise the problem is almost certainly in my mind, but I can't seem to do anything about it, and I feel that upset about it that pills seem to be the only option - I was a different person on pills (emotionless), but it seems worth it to feel adequate again. I'm not saying we went for 50+ minutes every time, but we often used to try different places etc in the flat during the course of one session. It was nice to be able to enjoy it rather than being close & having to stop all of the time. She can be finished within 5 minutes of penetrative sex, so I'm not looking to go for an hour+ every time because she doesn't need that - it'd just be nice to be able to when we feel like it.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We go into it thinking exactly the same things. Girlfriend reckons it's psychological, and that if I don't think about it then it won't happen. Have you tried thinking of different things? I've tried everything, nothing works & I just have some pretty weird thoughts in my head as I'm getting close ("think of your Nanna" etc). I've come close numerous times before we've even started, though it's never come out. I'm sure it'll happen one day though. Do you ever manage to go again or by that point are you put off so much that you'd rather be somewhere else?

    I think every male blames themself. We're meant to be able to pleasure them but it's impossible. The 'reassuring' words aren't reassuring and that's where the arguments begin. We've had huge arguments that have been triggered by my own shortcomings, and that's not good for either of us, I'm guessing it's the same for you. The feeling of inadequacy is the biggest thing.

    Any idea what started yours? Mine started the first time we had sex at her Mum & Dad's house - they were watching TV in the next room, and I'd not even spoken to them properly so there was an extra fear they'd walk in. It was about the same time she became ill, as well as her ex sniffing around and her not knowing how she felt etc. It was a difficult time to say the least. I don't know which one it is, maybe it's none of them, but apparently stress can play a major part in it.
    Well, like i said, i have a depressive mood disorder, so i don't know if its anything to do with that. Before the first time with her, sis you worry about how you would be?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, like i said, i have a depressive mood disorder, so i don't know if its anything to do with that. Before the first time with her, sis you worry about how you would be?
    Have you asked your Doc whether it could be related? Researched it etc?

    Didn't worry at all, because I didn't know or even think it was going to happen. First time (and plenty of times after that), I couldn't get it up properly. Did you worry?
    • #3
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    My situation is strangely similar...sucks a lot to be honest.

    I've never thought it could be stress related before, i have a lot of work at the moment and have been doubting various stuff in the relationship so maybe thats the cause. good luck to both of you!
 
 
 
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