How 'good' actually is it? Honest replies required.

Reply 40

Anonymous #1

OP

falls_whisper

I don't think I've ever felt any of that, at least not to the extent everyone else seem to blubber on about :o:

And I'm still in this relationship, I love him dearly and deeply care for him.

Are the usual romantic cliches about tingles down your spine and electricity at all true? No, unless he tickles me.
If so, does this continue indefinitely? Nope.
Would you still describe your partner as sexy? Yes :yep:

Do you daydream about them when they are not around? Daydream is for teenagers, for people who do not have the person they love... I have him, I think about him, but I don't daydream about him or us.

God we sound boring. And maybe we are. I do find it sad that we don't seem to possess the 'passion' loads of other couples (at least) say they do. I only recently had a conversation with him about the lack of sex and feeling too 'settled'... But I do think passion is overrated, and romance is exaggerated... at the end of the day, it's how much he cares for me and how much I care for him that matters. We have a very strong relationship, and complement each other very well. In some ways, maybe it is more like best friends than lovers... but for someone like me who wants nothing more than normality and stability, he is perfect.

Oh, and I have felt all those things: butterflies in stomach, pounding heart in your ears, shivering, clammy hands... the entire lot. It was for a boy I was deeply infatuated with, 'loved' as I thought loved meant at 15 :rolleyes:

I daydreamed about him constantly, loved the person I daydreamed him to be... and we never happened :xD: Figures :rolleyes:

That was teenage lust and puppy love, this is real love. I do miss the rush of feelings, I admit... but I wouldn't give what I have now just to feel it fleetingly once again.

Thanks for this. If you will pardon the question, could you see definitely see yourself being satisfied with things being this way for a long period of time?

I should possibly add that I am asking this question because I am in a relationship in which I do not feel these things. I am concerned that I am simply expecting too much by wanting to feel 'more'. It is my first relationship, and we have been together for a long time, and I have never so much as kissed anyone else, therefore have nothing to compare it to.

Reply 41

kitty09

Y'know I think having that feeling where you "click" with someone, and you could talk for hours just lying in there arms, where nothing else matters anymore- thats one of my favourite feelings for sure. I don't think that goes tbh if you completly click with someone. I think the butterflies in the stomach may begin to fade after you've been with them for a while, but the wofts of happiness always stay with me. And yeaah, hes sexy- and becomes more so every day I think. The closer we get, the more i find him attractive physically. I love him to bits :smile:

Reply 42

falls_whisper

14

Anonymous

Thanks for this. If you will pardon the question, could you see definitely see yourself being satisfied with things being this way for a long period of time?

I should possibly add that I am asking this question because I am in a relationship in which I do not feel these things. I am concerned that I am simply expecting too much by wanting to feel 'more'. It is my first relationship, and we have been together for a long time, and I have never so much as kissed anyone else, therefore have nothing to compare it to.

Lol, ironic. This is also my first relationship, and we've been together for over a year now. I have also no experience prior to this :o:

As for your worries, to be honest, I also get that from time to time. It does concern me that we seem to be in 'married' mode already, and I've never experienced the full-blown, explosive rush of feelings like everyone else. But then... I put it down to me being me :rolleyes:

I'm too grounded, too realistic, and besides, I've felt all those things in the past (although not in a relationship) so I know it doesn't actually mean much in the long-run.

I also fully understand what you mean by expecting to feel more. But still, as time has gone on now, I realise that what I feel is deeper than giddy smiles and rampant sex :wink:

it's quieter and almost unnoticeable. There's a difference in being 'in love' and 'love' and I guess I love him more than I am in love with him. I'm really struggling to word it, but it's just deeper and more meaningful if you get what I mean? All those fluttering hearts and jittery breaths... that's teenage lust and infatuation. They're fun and exciting to feel, but at the end of the day, I want someone who will be around for the bad times and the good times - and that requires them caring for me, not just being 'in love' with me.

I don't know if I'll always be happy with this. In the long-run, I know I already have what I want to have. But a relationship will die, wither without romance... and we definitely need to improve this. Still, I know it's a lot easier to build up romance (which is shallow and temporary) than to develop a true bond :smile:

Hope this helps. I'd also like to hear your opinions too actually :yep:

How 'good' actually is it? Honest replies required.

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