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This isnt fair, and how is it even possible watch

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    Please keep anon

    I have had really strong feelings for one of my closest friends for at 4 years now. Our families are close and his sister is one of my best friends. I kept it completely secret for about a year, told one of my other friends the year after, and then managed to tell his sister. She then told him, i also emailed him (very stupid). My feelings have grown constantly and i have ended up in love with him. I think about him constantly, i wish i could just call him up to hear his voice, or just see him, and i would give anything for us to be together. However he doesnt feel the same (and i dont think he ever did, though one of his friends told me there was a short period when something was goin on).

    Anyway i cant seem to help how i feel. Over the years he has shown interest in 3 of my close friends, i have spent night crying over him, i have spend night cursing him, i have been reduced to an abosloute mess during school (in a class that he was in and he knew what was going on) which i can only describe as the worst feeling i have ever had (both emotionally and weirdly phsycally), i must admit that i vividly remember the moment i thought he had broken my heart.

    We have never kissed, or had any close physical moments (i try to avoid things that might make it harder for me). I am now at university and my intial plan was to move on, i am surrounded by new people and plenty of guys who are logically far better than him, but i talk to them or look at them and i feel abosolutely nothing, not even attraction. All i do is wish i could be with him. It is completely unfair, i saw him in december and it brought all my feelings back so much more. All i want to do is ring him up and tell him i love him (i'm not going to).

    Argh i feel so horibly useless and pathetic but the simple fact is i love him, i love him, i love him.
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    Tell him?
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    awwwwwww i feel bad for you. and yes if you havent propley told him, then mabie hin a date so he knows your intrested????

    its awful when you fall for some1 as bad as you seem to have, and you dont even know if they even like you just a little bit...

    wish you all the best and hopefully it will turn out to be something for you two in the future.
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    Spending the night crying :no: you're in on the deep end!
    I'm sure if he knew how you really felt (the way you've expressed it on your post) it may change his feelings towards you. Sometimes knowing a person likes you a lot makes you like them even if you didn't initially :yep:
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    (Original post by Playboy King)
    Spending the night crying :no: you're in on the deep end!
    I'm sure if he knew how you really felt (the way you've expressed it on your post) it may change his feelings towards you. Sometimes knowing a person likes you a lot makes you like them even if you didn't initially :yep:
    i wish that were the case
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    I'd tell him, at least if he then says that he doesn't feel the same, it would make it easier for you to move on. Plus you'll regret not telling him, because eventually he'll be snapped up by somebody else, and you'll feel you've missed your chance. good luck
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks everyone, i have told him a very watered down version of how i feel (well ok i chickened out and told him by email) but i really dont know if i can tell him how i really do feel. I am terrified of having that same horrid feeling again, and at the same time i just miss him so much, but i know i am wasting what everyone says is meant to be some of the best time of my life. It feels like i have no escape, i miss him when i am sober and i really miss him when i have been drinking. Do you really think that telling him may make him reciprocate it? and if i am going to then what do i say? i cant just blurt out 'i love you' can i? and do i do it face to face coz the only way that is even slightly possible is if he comes to stay with me at uni for a few days
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    http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content...you-poster.jpg

    Take the hint, k?
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    Ouch, unrequited feelings do suck donkey's ass. I'd forgotten.

    I'd consider telling him too, but not with any hopes of him reciprocating - he really doesn't sound like he feels that way, I'm sorry - and to be honest, I'd feel really uncomfortable if I knew he only began liking me because I liked him. I'd do it just for closure's sake. You need some form of putting it to rest, stop hoping, and accepting it, which will eventually lead to moving on... You are right, university is meant to be your time, and you're wasting it all daydreaming about him!

    It will take time. I find that it takes far longer moving from unrequited feelings than relationships... the fact it never happened, giving up hope, and probably never confronting it... it's surprisingly hard to let go.

    But give it time, like break ups, distract yourself, find your life again. It will happen, seriously believe me, it will. It just takes time, and in my case, a long period of self-denial too :o:
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    He considers you a friend.
    Sure you can tell him - but unless there is a lot to suggest he thinks of you romantically, you're just going to destroy your current relationship.
    I mean c'mon, 4 yearsssssss
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    I don't mean to sound harsh, but I doubt you love him. I think its near impossible to love someone who you have never actually had a relationship, or anything near it, with.

    It sounds more like an obsession. Maybe you're fixated on him so much because you're afraid to move on to new people? Its not healthy either way. Its unlikely he will become romatically attracted to you if he hasn't yet, so save yourself some respect and dignity and move on. It won't be easy but you'll regret not doing it sooner when you really do fall in love and find that special someone. Until then, :hugs: xx
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    I don't mean to sound harsh, but I doubt you love him. I think its near impossible to love someone who you have never actually had a relationship, or anything near it, with.

    It sounds more like an obsession. Maybe you're fixated on him so much because you're afraid to move on to new people? Its not healthy either way. Its unlikely he will become romatically attracted to you if he hasn't yet, so save yourself some respect and dignity and move on. It won't be easy but you'll regret not doing it sooner when you really do fall in love and find that special someone. Until then, :hugs: xx
    Could Cameron be air brushed any more lol
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    Jesus, I know what feeling. ******* tore me apart when I that in love with someone I thought I could never have. Never felt anything like it.

    Not much help, but I know how you feel.

    I don't want to give you false hope, but it might happen . . . It happened for me. Or, you'll probably (eventually) move on. It's pretty unlikely that you'll spend the next few decades in love with him and be unable to find someone else. Hang in there.
 
 
 
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