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Feeling suicidal... watch

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    Everything in my life is just ****** up at the moment. I don't want to talk about it, but I will say what is generally happening. School is being a ****. Family is being a ****. Brother is being a ****. My life is nothing but work. Can't do anything about it. I liked someone but got ******* rejected. I had a best friend who I thought was trustworthy but it turned out that he was a total ******** who is a ******* backstabber. I am an A* pupil, and I never show signs of hatred, sadness, or anything in school. If someone has a problem, I'll always have to ******* sort it out. I help other people more than I help myself. This world is just ******* going upside down for me and I just don't see the point of continuing. I have many friends, I have a facebook account with over 200+ friends etc.etc. (I'm 14 btw - I'm in year 10 moving into year 11 - I also live in London)

    In school, I'm polite to everyone, friends will all of my class mates, have lots of friends on msn, but in actual fact, no one knows anything about it, and I just feel like ****.

    I have 2 extremely trustworthy friends which has always stuck by my side, but I haven't told them about this, and I don't know why. Telling them that I'm feeling suicidal will just be a whole new level, and I thought, what can they do about it? Nothing? at most, tell another person? an Adult?

    I really want to commit suicide, I honestly do, but I do not want to cause pain to my family, even though they do it to me. I don't want to cause sadness to people who consider me as their best friend. It's just the thought of what I am doing to other people when die, especially the people who care about me.

    Can anyone please sum up my thoughts and emotions?
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    :hugs:
    it sounds awful...if you dont want to tell people you know such as friends and family how you feel..how about telling a stranger?
    sometimes just ranting and letting it aaalllll out is good therapy and can help you figure things out..if you write it all down and read it back later it might help calm you down?
    there are a few ways in which you can do this

    you can email the samaritans comepletley anon and theyl always reply within 24 hours...its confidential and they dont do anything you dont want...

    you can ring childline..its private and confidential and someone will just listen to you talk/cry

    write it all on a piece of paper..and then put it in an envelope and stuff it in the nearest mailbox next time your in town..no need for an address or anything..write it down and get rid of it

    or you can pm people on here....people are here to help...me included...if you want to write down everything, complaining, ranting, swearing at things in your life then go for it and pm me...

    :hugs:
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    In my opinion it sounds as if you've got a lot of tension.
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    I began feeling like this when I was in year 9. I would just deprive myself of sleep for as long as I can until I have a mental breakdown. I just don't see the point of living if I have to go through all this **** and no one offers me absolutely any help.
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    You can do something about it. You don't have to always sort out other people's problems, this is something I've finally learnt not to do myself. People need to learn to cope on their own and you should be helping yourself.

    Telling your friends may help as you say they're trustworthy, so maybe they could support you and help you get through everything? Even if they do tell someone else, that's still a step forward. You say no one has offered you help- maybe you need to get out and ask for it? If they don't know, they won't offer.
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    It's only my emotions that are pulling me back from committing suicide... why is this??? I genuinely just want to give myself an overdose of alcohol and leave my window open, but I can't!

    Is it guilt? Is it sadness? WHAT IS IT?!?!?
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    no one can offer you help unless they know the problem?
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    #1

    It's hormones. You're 14, that's the 'peak' of puberty etc... So don't let that get better of you.
    Stay strong, do positive stuff you want to do. Improve your confidence and tell the people that piss you off to f off.
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    (Original post by Dyingdaybyday)
    It's only my emotions that are pulling me back from committing suicide... why is this??? I genuinely just want to give myself an overdose of alcohol and leave my window open, but I can't!

    Is it guilt? Is it sadness? WHAT IS IT?!?!?
    Nobody here can help you. Go to your GP.
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    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    You can do something about it. You don't have to always sort out other people's problems, this is something I've finally learnt not to do myself. People need to learn to cope on their own and you should be helping yourself.

    Telling your friends may help as you say they're trustworthy, so maybe they could support you and help you get through everything? Even if they do tell someone else, that's still a step forward. You say no one has offered you help- maybe you need to get out and ask for it? If they don't know, they won't offer.
    It's just me! It's myself! I don't know why I help other people so ******* much! There was a girl who use to be in my school, we were okayish friends, and she left to another secondary school which was near Manchester. She told me on Msn that she was being bullied etc and how etc etc. I don't know why I did this, but I got that school's contact details, head teacher's number etc, and I was writing so many complaints etc etc, and this was about, what, the night before I had my physics GCSE's? Why do I ******* do this?! I keep telling to myself, I will stop helping people that much, and to think about myself for once! but when it comes to it, I just automatically help! @[email protected]!:"@!:£@!:"
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    (Original post by Dyingdaybyday)
    It's just me! It's myself! I don't know why I help other people so ******* much! There was a girl who use to be in my school, we were okayish friends, and she left to another secondary school which was near Manchester. She told me on Msn that she was being bullied etc and how etc etc. I don't know why I did this, but I got that school's contact details, head teacher's number etc, and I was writing so many complaints etc etc, and this was about, what, the night before I had my physics GCSE's? Why do I ******* do this?! I keep telling to myself, I will stop helping people that much, and to think about myself for once! but when it comes to it, I just automatically help! @[email protected]!:"@!:£@!:"
    Mostly likely because you're a decent person. It's good to want to help people. Honestly, the next time something like that happens I would offer to help but only when you don't have yourself to worry about. Especially right now.

    It's good that you're being pulled back from trying to commit suicide. You don't wanna go there, trust me. It obviously means that there is still a small part of you that wants to carry on living. I agree that you should go to your GP.
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    try chatting to religious people, theyve generally got real positive ideas about life and life purpose and how people are 'here for a reason' etc.
    wont cost you anything and couldnt do any harm
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    (Original post by Dyingdaybyday)
    It's just me! It's myself! I don't know why I help other people so ******* much! There was a girl who use to be in my school, we were okayish friends, and she left to another secondary school which was near Manchester. She told me on Msn that she was being bullied etc and how etc etc. I don't know why I did this, but I got that school's contact details, head teacher's number etc, and I was writing so many complaints etc etc, and this was about, what, the night before I had my physics GCSE's? Why do I ******* do this?! I keep telling to myself, I will stop helping people that much, and to think about myself for once! but when it comes to it, I just automatically help! @[email protected]!:"@!:£@!:"
    Wait.. you said before your Physics GCSE? But you're 14, apparently.

    Anyway, my advice is... don't kill yourself, its the stupidest and most cowardly thing to do. Most of us have contemplated it, but none of us have done it!
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    (Original post by okelly5)
    try chatting to religious people, theyve generally got real positive ideas about life and life purpose and how people are 'here for a reason' etc.
    wont cost you anything and couldnt do any harm
    I'm an Atheist. Please do not begin a debate with me because I've had over hundreds of them and I just can't be asked anymore.
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    I know exactly how you feel; that lecture today revolving entirely around the rate constant made me feel pretty similar.
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    (Original post by ZigZac)
    Wait.. you said before your Physics GCSE? But you're 14, apparently.

    Anyway, my advice is... don't kill yourself, its the stupidest and most cowardly thing to do. Most of us have contemplated it, but none of us have done it!
    I took my physics exam - GCSE, in year 9. Just taken my Biology a few days ago, and I'm taking my chemistry exam tomorrow.

    Also, I believe that it isn't cowardly to end your own life. I believe that it is one of the hardest things to do.
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    (Original post by Dyingdaybyday)
    I'm an Atheist. Please do not begin a debate with me because I've had over hundreds of them and I just can't be asked anymore.
    i wasnt startin a debate, and im not tryin to force what i think on you,,
    just offering a suggestion, if you disagree then you disagree, no harm done
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    It's probably hard because you don't want to. I think it's cowardly in that life can be a ***** and being able to get yourself through these things makes you a stronger and better person (and this is after going through a lot).
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    (Original post by okelly5)
    i wasnt startin a debate, and im not tryin to force what i think on people,,
    just offering a suggestion, if they disagree fair enough, no harm done,

    quit your moaning
    Sorry, I wasn't implying an argument. That's the least I want at the moment.
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    nah man im sorry i didnt read what you'd said properly,, i thought someone else had written that,, re read your comment n changed mine
 
 
 
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