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guys please help...bf just hit me watch

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    Please....anon or delete

    We got into a massive argument because his ex gf told him some ******** about me (cheating and more)...the thing is he's really easygoing and laid back, not usually jealous and not particularly protective (unless neccessary)...I got really mad that he would even consider I did it, he wasn't believing me when I said I didn't, then I can't really remember but it got heated and he just wacked me across the face. I fell down....we both looked really shocked, I got angry instead of upset, kicked him in the shins then walked away.

    I don't know what to do...knowing his character, it's just so unlike him. And he's so liberal, I know he's against this sort of thing etc. I don't know whether to forgive him as I don't think it will happen again, he's not a violent person.

    Soooo my question is...from a guy's point of view, is it normal to get so angry you'd hit you gf? Do you think that it's possible to do this then never do it again? Specifically the more easygoing of you.


    Thanks so much
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    gtfo of there
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    I don't think I could ever hit anyone I cared about unless they went around murdering my friends or something. So on one hand, maybe your boyfriend's not as easygoing as you think. On the other hand, if I ever got mad enough to hit someone I cared about, they'd have to have pissed me off pretty badly, and I'd probably never do it again. If he seriously believed you were cheating, then he's probably perfectly within his rights to get jealous and protective. I can't really even give my opinion (not that I'd want to - you really shouldn't take other people's advice on this, you know your boyfriend better than we do), given that you "can't remember" what happened before he hit you - it sounds like either you're pretending you can't remember or you were both so angry that you were probably both just screaming abuse at each other.
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    It's not normal, it's ******* disgusting for someone to hit someone they supposedly love. You're definitely right to be annoyed. If it was me, I'd dump him, straight away. You might not think he's like this normally but maybe that's just because you don't normally have arguments this heated. What happens if you have an argument this serious again? At the end of the day, he's proven he's capable of hitting you. That's enough in my opinion.
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    I don't think I could ever hit anyone I cared about unless they went around murdering my friends or something. So on one hand, maybe your boyfriend's not as easygoing as you think. On the other hand, if I ever got mad enough to hit someone I cared about, they'd have to have pissed me off pretty badly, and I'd probably never do it again. If he seriously believed you were cheating, then he's probably perfectly within his rights to get jealous and protective. I can't really even give my opinion (not that I'd want to - you really shouldn't take other people's advice on this, you know your boyfriend better than we do), given that you "can't remember" what happened before he hit you - it sounds like either you're pretending you can't remember or you were both so angry that you were probably both just screaming abuse at each other.
    It's not a case of I blacked out therefore can't remember...or that I'm pretending (?!?!) We were just screaming loads of **** at each other so I can't remember in clear detail what him or indeed myself was saying.
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    dump him

    for a start he shouldnt believe his ex over you and he shouldnt have hit you
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    You know what, I'm going to actually stand up for your boyfriend slightly on this one, but hear me out.

    It sounds as if you were in a bloody awful row, both screaming at each other and neither explaining. If your boyfriend believes you've cheated and then has you standing there screaming at him and accusing him of not trusting you etc, then it is possible he'd just get too mad and snap, doing something completely out of character - proved by how shocked you said he seemed afterwards.

    Only you know your boyfriend properly. Do you think he'd do it again, or was it a particularly awful row? I think it's perfectly possible to do it once and be so shocked and disgusted with yourself that you don't do it ever again. We can't really help you on this one. I'd definitely expect an apology from him, but you were violent back so in my eyes you're in the same boat.

    For example, I personally can imagine myself getting so mad that I'd slap a boyfriend of mine during an argument. Now, that's socially more acceptable than if he were to do the same. If I'm capable of hitting him (knowing the kind of person I am), then I wouldn't judge him as the kind of social pariah that most would - I do get the 'boys are stronger than girls' argument, but I think both should be treated equally, and that boys get the rough end of the deal.

    In NO WAY am I allowing domestic abuse, absolutely not. But I think that once off, in a very provoked and anger-filled situation, he can be forgiven and may not do it again. I don't mean to offend anyone by my post, it's just my opinion.

    All the best OP :hugs: x
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    (Original post by punkyrocker)
    You know what, I'm going to actually stand up for your boyfriend slightly on this one, but hear me out.

    It sounds as if you were in a bloody awful row, both screaming at each other and neither explaining. If your boyfriend believes you've cheated and then has you standing there screaming at him and accusing him of not trusting you etc, then it is possible he'd just get too mad and snap, doing something completely out of character - proved by how shocked you said he seemed afterwards.

    Only you know your boyfriend properly. Do you think he'd do it again, or was it a particularly awful row? I think it's perfectly possible to do it once and be so shocked and disgusted with yourself that you don't do it ever again. We can't really help you on this one. I'd definitely expect an apology from him, but you were violent back so in my eyes you're in the same boat.

    For example, I personally can imagine myself getting so mad that I'd slap a boyfriend of mine during an argument. Now, that's socially more acceptable than if he were to do the same. If I'm capable of hitting him (knowing the kind of person I am), then I wouldn't judge him as the kind of social pariah that most would - I do get the 'boys are stronger than girls' argument, but I think both should be treated equally, and that boys get the rough end of the deal.

    In NO WAY am I allowing domestic abuse, absolutely not. But I think that once off, in a very provoked and anger-filled situation, he can be forgiven and may not do it again. I don't mean to offend anyone by my post, it's just my opinion.

    All the best OP :hugs: x
    I get your point...and agree in the sense that a girl hitting a dude shouldn't be treated as nothing when the other way round it's such a big deal. However, as clearly her bf will be quite a bit stronger than her...and as this probably applies in 98% of relationships, surely the guy should try and exercise more restraint when he knows he could do some serious damage...whereas with a girl, though it's not right, if she slapped her bf, what's really gonna happen?
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    (Original post by Pheylan)
    did it turn you on?
    really?
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    (Original post by Pheylan)
    did it turn you on?
    serious point - did it? Chicks often ******* love this ****. I bet she's never been so wet in her life.
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    (Original post by licensedX)
    I get your point...and agree in the sense that a girl hitting a dude shouldn't be treated as nothing when the other way round it's such a big deal. However, as clearly her bf will be quite a bit stronger than her...and as this probably applies in 98% of relationships, surely the guy should try and exercise more restraint when he knows he could do some serious damage...whereas with a girl, though it's not right, if she slapped her bf, what's really gonna happen?
    Ah, like I said in my post I do see the fair points to that argument! It's such a tricky one... I just think that in principle, it's the same: getting physical and hurting your partner, because you're too mad to think straight and you lose your restraint and control. So, in principle, they should be treated the same. It seems like a petty, silly argument to bring up, but many girls I know could easily hold their own with their partners - however I know realistically that isn't a valid argument.

    I don't think that just because girls can not in general hurt their boyfriends they should be let off, and in the same breath I do not think men should be judged more as in general they can hurt their girlfriends more.

    I'm undecided on how best to word my thoughts, let me get back to you!! :o:
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    Thats horrific. I would never hit a girl and no boy should no matter what the situation
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please....anon or delete

    We got into a massive argument because his ex gf told him some ******** about me (cheating and more)...the thing is he's really easygoing and laid back, not usually jealous and not particularly protective (unless neccessary)...I got really mad that he would even consider I did it, he wasn't believing me when I said I didn't, then I can't really remember but it got heated and he just wacked me across the face. I fell down....we both looked really shocked, I got angry instead of upset, kicked him in the shins then walked away.

    I don't know what to do...knowing his character, it's just so unlike him. And he's so liberal, I know he's against this sort of thing etc. I don't know whether to forgive him as I don't think it will happen again, he's not a violent person.

    Soooo my question is...from a guy's point of view, is it normal to get so angry you'd hit you gf? Do you think that it's possible to do this then never do it again? Specifically the more easygoing of you.


    Thanks so much
    That gives him no excuse. Break up with him. Guys who hit women are the lowest form of life. If he did it once he will do it again. Accepting it just invites him to do it again.
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    (Original post by Gazule)
    Accepting it just invites him to do it again.

    This.
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    meh, just read the thread title.
    my advice would be to kick him in the balls. :yep:
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    Is it normal to assault people? Come on get your act together - the guys a psycho in the making. If it happens once & things go back to normal, why wouldn't he hit you again the next time he gets pissed at you?
    • #2
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    My ex used to hit me quite often, one of the many factors why we split up. I used to hit her back though, not like full on in the face in a rage, but a dead arm or something just to let her know there were consequences if she assaulted me...

    In addition, I am in general not one to shy away from a fight either, but I would never of dreamed about hitting her first, a slap or anything else... Violent relationships can't be happy ones, unless its mutual in a kinky way, is what I learn't from that experience!

    IMO when it comes to violence, as its inherently ingrained in a males psyche, men can either control it or can't, and even seemingly docile people when under stress can snap. You'll have to make a judgement call on whether you'll subject him to these levels of stress again because clearly he can't handle it!!
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    (Original post by Pheylan)
    :yep:

    they also fantasize about rape and incest

    fact.
    my god, women are just dirty-minded little sluts, the lot of them.
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    why are you asking for advice on a student forum, you tool.
 
 
 
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