Hi this may be a bit long but I've been wondering for some time now why I feel like this.
I'm a 3rd year student at uni and back when I started uni two years ago I met this really pretty girl both personality wise and look wise. We got on so well that immediately we became attached. I have numerous friends but not one of them I got to as close as her. I miss her when I don't see her for a few days and likewise she said she felt the same. We did everything together but we never actually did anything that would class us as a couple like holding hands and all those little gestures but when in private we discuss the most personal issues without holding back. I won't go into much more detail as its boring but I hope you guys get the jist of it. So we act like a couple but don't do anything like a couple if that makes sense
The thing is though, I'm not sure if I like her as a bestfriend or I want to develop it into a relationship. So whether me missing her is because I love her and I want to see her or whether I need a friend to discuss all my issues with and hang out, and only she matches the criteria out of all my friends. I'm pretty sure the answer to this question relies mostly on me but surely someone has been in the same boat as me, and I'll like to hear your views.
Is it because she's my bestfriend or something more? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-01-2010 00:36
- 27-01-2010 00:44
If you found a girl you can be best mates with and you think she's pretty and you genuinely care about her...then you've got a winning combination! It's a winning combination, but a perfect combination would be one with sex/making out added to the equation. I mean presumably you're so close already you couldn't get any closer being a couple, so the only difference would be the added physical element.
Go for it! but don't just do a system overload thing at once, you've got to somehow give a slight hint that you like/love her and make sure she does the same back...or else if you go in too cold you could end up compromising the friendship if it turns out she only sees you as a friend.
- 27-01-2010 00:49
I do understand where you're comming from, and it's sometimes awkward deciphering where exactly you stand within an intimate relationship.
Since you're obviously quite open with each other, it might be worth considering asking her about how she feels and openly discussing the matter. However, you of course need to think about what you want within the relationship, but you obviously care for her alot and it'd seem she shares these feelings; do you think she's "right" for you as a partner? (From your post, this seems to be very much the case; she seems quite perfect for you from what you've said)
On another note, it's quite dreadful for me when I don't see my closer friends for a few days too, and none of these I'd describe as a potential partner. Friendships can be incredibly loving and intense.
Considered living/travelling with her for a bit after university? Might give you a chance to think on it properly.
- 27-01-2010 00:59
Simple question - do you think of her in a romantic way? Do you want to kiss her and have sex with her?