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fed up with girls from uni texting him all the time :( watch

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    (Original post by dichr0ic)
    wait what? you came to whine about your husband on a student forum? what's wrong with mumsnet?
    Her hubby is a student, hanging with young students, which seems to be the rot to the problem.

    OP,
    It's weird! Maybe you should seek professional help? I know that if a guy in our course was that old (no pun intended) and had 5 kids, it'd be strange if he kept going out with our lot. For the socials, yeah sure, to get some friends to talk to, fine, but being as much a rampage student as us, would be weird..
    Best of luck, feel for you!!
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    I think it could be a mid-life crisis, hes bought himself a penis extention in the form of a GOLF GTI and spent £2k getting it resprayed. Don't get me wrong it is lovely......if your 18 lol!

    Thank you for the replies. I just don't know what to do and I just want to throw his phone out of the window. I don't think hes cheating, he couldn't afford a bit of fluff to be honest and as much of a pratt he's being, I like to think he wouldn't do that too me.

    His friends call me the bunny boiler lol, wish I had the energy to be one tbh! lol. I am just getting to the stadge where I just cannot be bothered with it all.

    I had to drag him to his sons footie match this weekend and he spent the whole game on his phone and texting some girl at uni, the same girl he had spent an hour on the phone to his mate with chatting about how 'fit' she is.

    I have applied to uni for sept 2010 and I am really starting to hope I get accepted at the one furthest away so I can just get out of here sometimes.

    I need chocolate so badly lol
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    (Original post by L i b)
    If you're suggesting his life should consist solely of sitting around the house, not going out in the evenings and spending time solely with his wife and children in a stifling environment then I can certainly see why he'd be a bit stroppy. Personally, I'd top myself.

    Why does he feel obliged to 'hide' his text messages from you? Would you go snooping through them otherwise?
    lol, nope he spends more time with his hairy mates fixing cars then he does with me lol, and this week I have dumped again for a fetching 69' vw beetle hes working on lol.

    He has this stupid phone, N97 I couldn't even figure out how to get on a menu never mind snoop. Even if I did look, if he had nothing to hide whats the problem?

    He has it on silent so I can't hear it go off and it does drive me nuts and is the cause of most of the problems. Before christmas be went away for a week and I asked him to leave it at home, i had my brick and we could use that. 2 days in I found he had sneeked it with him, I walked in on him txting away in the bath (he had forgotten to lock the door). I had some girl from uni call the house phone last week asking for him, which makes me think hes not cheating, surely no one can be so dumb to give your house number out to a girlfriend when you know your wifes at home most of the time lol
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    (Original post by Hermione_moo)
    I think it could be a mid-life crisis, hes bought himself a penis extention in the form of a GOLF GTI and spent £2k getting it resprayed. Don't get me wrong it is lovely......if your 18 lol!

    Thank you for the replies. I just don't know what to do and I just want to throw his phone out of the window. I don't think hes cheating, he couldn't afford a bit of fluff to be honest and as much of a pratt he's being, I like to think he wouldn't do that too me.

    His friends call me the bunny boiler lol, wish I had the energy to be one tbh! lol. I am just getting to the stadge where I just cannot be bothered with it all.

    I had to drag him to his sons footie match this weekend and he spent the whole game on his phone and texting some girl at uni, the same girl he had spent an hour on the phone to his mate with chatting about how 'fit' she is.

    I have applied to uni for sept 2010 and I am really starting to hope I get accepted at the one furthest away so I can just get out of here sometimes.

    I need chocolate so badly lol
    First off, I think you deserve chocolate...going and getting some would be my first piece of advice!

    It does sound like he's having some sort of mid life crisis...but his behaviour is at best insensitive and at worst worrying.

    Do you have any friends near by? It may be time for a 'girls night'...arrange it and inform (don't ask) you husband about it. Make it clear that HE will be taking care of the children that night (it takes 2 to tango and they're as much his responsibility as yours).

    Another thing that may be worth doing is, when you're both home and in the same room, calmly ask him if he still has any interest in his family. Make it clear that you're not asking him to be there 24/7/365 but even when he's there it feels as if his attention isn't...plus with the newborn, you would appreciate a little more support.
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    (Original post by Sakura-Chan)
    I agree, but I think it says a lot when he can't remember the date when his own child is due and would rather go out.
    He was going out 2 days after :p:




    You sound seriously stifling OP, and 5 kids? :eek:

    Anyway he should be allowed to have a social life
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    (Original post by a_t)
    He was going out 2 days after :p:




    You sound seriously stifling OP, and 5 kids? :eek:

    Anyway he should be allowed to have a social life
    Yeah but allow he's 32, he has 5 kids. Sorry but there's priorities this guy is not sorting out. It's alright for 20 year old students to go out, when you're a parent... :nothing: no. She's allowed to be stifling, she's not exactly a fling or just a girlf is she?

    Seriously OP, this is kinda a **** forum to discuss this on - most people on here are 'omg nevar been kissed virgins, don't like dwinking'. :rolleyes:
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    i would not stand for this ****, i would be telling him its either me or uni
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    Intergrate with his group of friends.
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    (Original post by a_t)
    He was going out 2 days after :p:




    You sound seriously stifling OP, and 5 kids? :eek:

    Anyway he should be allowed to have a social life
    Are you a complete retard?


    Even if the baby did come on the due date, you think it's acceptable for him to sod off out with his mates leaving his WIFE to look after a 2-day-old baby, as well as the other 4 kids?

    How is it stifling to want your HUSBAND to help look after his FIVE CHILDREN?

    So he should be allowed to have a social life. What if she wants to go out too? Who looks after the kids?
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    come on!
    a mid life crisis?!
    he's only 32
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    (Original post by SuperSam_Fantastiche)
    Are you a complete retard?


    Even if the baby did come on the due date, you think it's acceptable for him to sod off out with his mates leaving his WIFE to look after a 2-day-old baby, as well as the other 4 kids?

    How is it stifling to want your HUSBAND to help look after his FIVE CHILDREN?

    So he should be allowed to have a social life. What if she wants to go out too? Who looks after the kids?

    I wasn't being seriously about that, that's why I used that stupid smiley, you fail at netspeak


    Anyway they can alternate nights out or get baby sitters or her parents to do it on occasion

    I'm just lolling at 5 kids, I assume OP is catholic
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    Im in cambridge and my parents are in manchester his are in norwich. The last time i went out to a club was Jan 1st 2000 and I was 16. Sure ive been to a few pubs since but to the ones with the fun factories with the kids lol.
    He goes out with his mates alot, im really cool with that, hell if i had the time i would go ot aswell, but i cant enjoy myself as i just see everything costing money, when you have a £60k det and are already behind on mortgage payments, i cannot justify spending any money on any sort of fun. He doesnt really think like that and just bought another xbox (how many does a man need exactly?) and goes out a few times a week to the pub.

    He is a great dad dont get me wrong he loves his kids, and would do extra shifts if we were low on cash, but since starting uni, he seems to be more intrested in spending it, which when you have to tell your 5year she cant go on her school trip because we have no money, while her dad goes out and has just blown £50 on rubbish?? He pinches money for food shopping to fund his nights out. I had £20 left this week for a weeks shopping, that just about covers a weeks supply of milk and rice crispies. Thank god I have a separate savings account to dip into, but thats all our holiday money gone now.

    oh and 5 kids is what happens to you when you get too poor to afford cable or nights out anymore, you have all be warned so work hard lol
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    (Original post by Hermione_moo)

    oh and 5 kids is what happens to you when you get too poor to afford cable or nights out anymore, you have all be warned so work hard lol

    contraception is free though
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    Sounds like a young guy who's had to grow up too fast with too much to handle (5 kids :zomg: ever heard of contraception?). I'd probably feel the same as him if I was in the position, that my youth had been robbed from me and I can sort of understand the temptation to relive it all especially now that he's at uni.

    However, not remembering the child's due date is inexcusable...he probably feels trapped and that you and the kids are holding him back from doing what he really wants. At 32 I would say it's pretty pathetic for him to have the attitude he has, to be doing the things he's doing...but it's easy to criticise, I'm not the one who's had to sacrifice anything to support a family of 6 at 32 that is a huge pressure! I don't think I'd be able to cope with that at even 50.

    Personally if I was in this position I'd have a divorce but still keep on good terms for the kids, because forcing yourself to stay in a marriage when really want to do other things is never the right thing to do.
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    No idea - and I am 99.9% sure that no one on this forum is going to know what to do here at all - we're all grimey students.
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    contraception is free though
    Yes we have, but all our children with the exception of the first who we conceived whilst on the pill, have been wanted and tried for thank you. We both wanted a large family and though they sometimes are a challenge they are the best thing that happened to me, i've never had so much fun, watching these little people grow and learn is amazing. Just because we have 5 kids young, don't assume they are all accidents, thats rather rude. He knew what he was getting himself into, it was planned and he has been amazing. Until the age of 24 he was a wild guy who travelled the world and had lots of fun. But that isn't real life and everyone has to grow up and we both made the decision when we fell pregnant with the first, it was about time he did just that.

    I on the other hand have never done that, I was pregnant at the age of 17 and missed out on all of the clubs and wild nights out, but I don't regret it, i'm rather happy spending every weekend inside with the kids, it's the life I made for myself and I enjoy it. If anyone should be having a crisis surely it should be me right? He did his bit, acted like a loon and blew all his money on drink and drugs etc when he was younger.

    I just see this second youth thing as him trying to claw back something that has come to a natural end, kind of like those old ladies who at 60 still insist on dressing like they are 20, the time passed and it's time to accept that and move on.

    He finishes his first year this week and will have a word with him about it, maybe it is time he made a choice? I don't know, it seems like such a shame to make someone choose between 2 things they love. I might seek some help from counciling, maybe they can help him balance the two togeather somehow?

    Thanks for the helpful input anyway guys x
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    (Original post by Hermione_moo)
    Yes we have, but all our children with the exception of the first who we conceived whilst on the pill, have been wanted and tried for thank you. We both wanted a large family and though they sometimes are a challenge they are the best thing that happened to me, i've never had so much fun, watching these little people grow and learn is amazing. Just because we have 5 kids young, don't assume they are all accidents, thats rather rude. He knew what he was getting himself into, it was planned and he has been amazing. Until the age of 24 he was a wild guy who travelled the world and had lots of fun. But that isn't real life and everyone has to grow up and we both made the decision when we fell pregnant with the first, it was about time he did just that.

    I on the other hand have never done that, I was pregnant at the age of 17 and missed out on all of the clubs and wild nights out, but I don't regret it, i'm rather happy spending every weekend inside with the kids, it's the life I made for myself and I enjoy it. If anyone should be having a crisis surely it should be me right? He did his bit, acted like a loon and blew all his money on drink and drugs etc when he was younger.

    I just see this second youth thing as him trying to claw back something that has come to a natural end, kind of like those old ladies who at 60 still insist on dressing like they are 20, the time passed and it's time to accept that and move on.

    He finishes his first year this week and will have a word with him about it, maybe it is time he made a choice? I don't know, it seems like such a shame to make someone choose between 2 things they love. I might seek some help from counciling, maybe they can help him balance the two togeather somehow?

    Thanks for the helpful input anyway guys x
    Sorry, but reading your thread - this guy your married to sound's like an absolute ****, he needs to make a choice whether he loves his family more or university. Maybe you guys rushed into the situation with kids, but doesn't excuse his behaviour, skipping the potential birth when you are in a fragile state for a party? c'mon that's just not on :eek:.

    Yes you need to have a serious chat, don't make him give up University but he needs to put effort into your relationship; especially since you've got kids. If nothing works then it's maybe time to talk to his parents and even your parents to see what they say about the situation. :cool:
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    I think you should divorce him
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    A 26 year old mother of 5 asking a bunch of teenagers and students for advice relating to her marriage. Yeah right...

    GTFO here and take your trolling ass with you.
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    (Original post by dichr0ic)
    wait what? you came to whine about your husband on a student forum? what's wrong with mumsnet?
    It's a Health and Relationship section of the student forum. Are you going to paste the same message to every person who comes here to talk about personal and relationship problems, or are you limiting yourself to the ones you feel to be different to yourself? Idiot.
 
 
 
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