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Help - she agreed to meet, I text her something cheesy, now she says no meet! watch

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    So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!

    So later on I text her with what was in hindsight a godawfully cheesy message:

    Hey gorgeous! Hope you're looking forward to Thursday For you, I'll crack out the... wine? suit? x

    To which she immediately replies:

    "Hi sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea. Maybe it would be best if we didn't do Thursday."

    Advice I got from some girls was that the best thing would be not to persevere immediately ("because that's predictable") but to concede, at which point she would then feel remorse ("like something's been taken away") and so next time I see her she would be more likely to be open to me again. So I wrote:

    [Name], I was just kidding, I don't wear suits, and I don't drink! But no problem, have a good week.

    To which she responded:

    Have good week too

    So what do I do here? She appreciated the conversation, I thought it went well; yes, it took a bit of perseverence but I got her to agree to a meetup. Yes, I realise I shouldn't have made the text so cheesy.

    Anyhow, can I get her to reconsider? Or is this a lost cause?
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    it sounds to me like she didnt really want to go out in the first place. she kept saying no but you kept going and she buckled out of politeness when she'd run out of excuses. Your text sounds a bit pushy which may have been off-putting (considering you had already been pushy about going out with her in the first place). If i'd gotten that text I would think it was a bit too suggestive after 1 chat and being cornered about a date. Thats just my opinion so you can take or leave it. I'd forget it and wait for someone who is more eager to go out with you tbh.
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    I'd say it's a lost cause because her responses we're very short and she seems to have completely lost interest. Although you did come across as very over-keen in the first text, which isn't good, I don't think her cancelling was just because of it - it's likely that your forwardness made her realise that, due to other reasons (ex she's not over, already seeing someone, didn't fancy you etc), it's not what she wanted - particularly because your follow up texts were all normal.
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    You know what, I don't think your text was all that cheesy. Calling a girl gorgeous isn't instantly cheesy, and she took the compliment when you told her to her face. It does sound like she just doesn't think of you that way, although she seemed to react well when you spoke to her.

    OP I think you handled the situation really well, text was maybe a little intimidating/eager if she reacted that way, but you weren't to know. Sorry it turned out like this! Maybe get in touch mid-next week, seeing how she's doing, and see if you can go from there. You shouldn't be too eager or pushy, but make sure you're on her mind at the same time.

    Hope it goes well for you OP, don't feel too bad! x

    Editted as I changed my mind!
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    maybe she thought you wanted to be her gay friend, from the "you're gorgeous" bit
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    Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!
    This was the first part where you went wrong, you shouldn't have gone back again you should have just left it and texted her or something later. Sometimes it can be a turn off to show somebody you are really attracted to them.

    Anyhow it's a pretty much lost cause if you've got the dreaded "I think you've got the wrong idea" line, the only hope imo would be just to continue as friends and see if something can develop that way.
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    (Original post by punkyrocker)
    You know what, I don't think your text was all that cheesy. Calling a girl gorgeous isn't instantly cheesy, and she took the compliment when you told her to her face. It does sound like she just doesn't think of you that way, although she seemed to react well when you spoke to her.

    OP I think you handled the situation really well, text was maybe a little intimidating/eager if she reacted that way, but you weren't to know. Sorry it turned out like this! I'd probably give her a text on Thursday, just something light hearted and jokey to do with meeting up or something, just to check. Then if she says no, maybe get in touch mid-next week, seeing how she's doing, and see if you can go from there. You shouldn't be too eager or pushy, but make sure you're on her mind at the same time.

    Hope it goes well for you OP, don't feel too bad! x
    No OP, don't do this. It's a lost cause, and she's already clearly said she doesn't want to meet up, texting AGAIN will make you look desperate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I saw a gorgeous girl today at university who I have fancied like mad for a while. Sat down and spoke to her (she was sitting on her own). We conversed for a while, I flirted, then I told her that I thought she was gorgeous. She said thanks and beamed. Everything was great; I already had her number from before and I said it would be great to see her again some time for a catch up. She agreed, I said I would get in touch. Walked away and then thought ****, I should fix a time to see her again. So I went back, asked her what she was doing tonight; she said she was busy; tomorrow? Had something to attend to; day after? She said she was at work. I said, when do you finish work? She says between 5 and 7, but it's in Earls Court. So I said no problem! THEN she said OKAY!

    So later on I text her with what was in hindsight a godawfully cheesy message:

    Hey gorgeous! Hope you're looking forward to Thursday For you, I'll crack out the... wine? suit? x

    To which she immediately replies:

    "Hi sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea. Maybe it would be best if we didn't do Thursday."

    Advice I got from some girls was that the best thing would be not to persevere immediately ("because that's predictable") but to concede, at which point she would then feel remorse ("like something's been taken away") and so next time I see her she would be more likely to be open to me again. So I wrote:

    [Name], I was just kidding, I don't wear suits, and I don't drink! But no problem, have a good week.

    To which she responded:

    Have good week too

    So what do I do here? She appreciated the conversation, I thought it went well; yes, it took a bit of perseverence but I got her to agree to a meetup. Yes, I realise I shouldn't have made the text so cheesy.

    Anyhow, can I get her to reconsider? Or is this a lost cause?
    you so screwed it up. First you appeared really desperate when you asked her. Second you really needed to show her that a) you were kidding with the comment (which she remembering your desperation assumed you weren't) and b) to tell her to get over herself and withdraw your offer.

    As it stands now, you'd prob be best leaving it for a few days; have a laugh with your mates on thursday and next time you meet her re-ask her out with little chit-chat after going on about the amazing time she missed out on by not going with you.
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    (Original post by BrightGirl)
    No OP, don't do this. It's a lost cause, and she's already clearly said she doesn't want to meet up, texting AGAIN will make you look desperate.
    True, thanks. I editted my post so it's more sane and the poor OP doesn't follow my wrong advice... :o:
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    (Original post by punkyrocker)
    You know what, I don't think your text was all that cheesy. Calling a girl gorgeous isn't instantly cheesy, and she took the compliment when you told her to her face. It does sound like she just doesn't think of you that way, although she seemed to react well when you spoke to her.

    OP I think you handled the situation really well, text was maybe a little intimidating/eager if she reacted that way, but you weren't to know. Sorry it turned out like this! I'd probably give her a text on Thursday, just something light hearted and jokey to do with meeting up or something, just to check. Then if she says no, maybe get in touch mid-next week, seeing how she's doing, and see if you can go from there. You shouldn't be too eager or pushy, but make sure you're on her mind at the same time.

    Hope it goes well for you OP, don't feel too bad! x
    I think that's bordering on stalking to be honest :p:
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    Lol. This thread is jokes.
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    I think the way you asked her, "tonight?, tomorrow?, the day after?, saturday?" is off putting as it suggests that you do nothing in your spare time, you should just have said a date that was in the near future and not kept on asking, or waited until there was something cool that were you going to do, gig, event, etc and invited her as well.
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    Don't contact her any more, she doesn't want to go out with you. Trust me.
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    It looks like she only agreed to meet up with you because you pushed her into a corner. I wouldn't try anything again for while - just treat her as a friend if you still want her company.
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    (Original post by Shadowplay)
    Don't contact her any more, she doesn't want to go out with you. Trust me.
    Agreed. If she was interested she wouldn't have backtracked when you sent that text.
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    I'd cut your losses and let her be, or else risk further embarrassment.

    Wine and a suit on a first date with some girl you met the other day? I know you were just joking, but that's still a bit much when all you did was agree to meet up for a "catch up". Also, telling someone they're gorgeous is not the same thing as calling them that as if it were their name.
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    As my sexually promiscuous co-worker regularly says: treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. That doesn't mean batter her, but merely show a lack of interest in her, and she'll come running to you, provided that she liked you in the first place!
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    Yeah she didn't really want to go out I don't think. Everyone agrees "yeah we should meet up sometime..." whether or not they mean it. It's too awkward to say anything else to their face. She was therefore surprised when you came back asking for an actual time. She tried to get out of it but you tore down her third excuse and she had no option - she didn't offer to meet you after work, you said that meeting her after work would be fine - she didn't have any way out of that. Then your text cemented the suspicion that you think it's a date, and so she called it off.

    Don't mean to be harsh, but that's how it seems.
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    (Original post by BrightGirl)
    No OP, don't do this. It's a lost cause, and she's already clearly said she doesn't want to meet up, texting AGAIN will make you look desperate.
    Aye, friendzoned. Move on.
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    Echoing everyone else's post, I don't think it was the txt, she probably didn't want to go out with you in the first place - you didn't really take the "I'm busy for the next 3 days" hint.

    Leave it.
 
 
 
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