Not sure how bad this is or if I'l change. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
Im female 25 and for some reason have this thing against society, like I'l see a girl in a restraunt, hospital smiling and acting all professional and it just annoys me. Even though Im not one myself (im seen as quiet, sweet and shy by some) Ive started to respect rebels and anti social people its as though Im going through a bad teenage phase even though Ive played the nice girl all my life. I think I have quite a lot of anger inside and go go into moods where I think 'why should I do this, why should I work/be a slave to ppl all my life, why should I be nice and put on an act' etc. I realise Im so immature but then I get angry at myself for feeling guilty and immature and convince myself that its natural and I don't have to be like everyone else. The thing is Ive been accepted onto a course (social carer) working with people but due to my current state of mind I have no sympathy and have this thing against people/society I feel that if I go into one of these arrogant/angry moods while Im working there I'l just end up swearing at staff and walking out..even though Ive never done anything like this in my life.

I think what has brought this on though has been my lack of a social life (Ive never had friends/been for nights out anything like that) people my age have always ignored me (due to my lack of social skills and appearing anxious). I realise its my fault and that no one owe's me anything yet it feels as though they do. Ive been used by people, Im only asked to go to places if they need someone to go with and none of their friends can go for example. Its not me thats paranoid my family recognise it too. But thats human nature its not their fault its just how people are but Ive become really bitter cause of it lol!

About this job though I feel its the way forward and a chance to change and improve my social skills but at the same don't feel my attitude is appropriate for it. I suppose I could try and ignore my moods/attitude and hope it goes away when I get confidence plus I know that if I drop out I'l just get angrier think f*** it and will just feel worse.. start doing/saying stupid things. I know how serious all this is though I don't know if Im just naive and immature or if Im actually nasty and destined to become mental. Over the last 6 months Ive just feel arrogant and angry most of the time .

I just wanted some advice what do you think?
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this charming girl
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#2
Report 8 years ago
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This may sound really superficial but try changing your style- get an edgey haircut, nose piercing or something... Then your outward appearance refletcs how your feeling and you tend to accept it more. Then let yourself be angry when you want to be... Your probably angry because you don't feel you're letting people know your true feelings. Accept them and let people know them.

Also try a sport that can release your anger: kickboxing or something.

It doesn't sound like it's actually down to you being nasty and destined to become mental, you just need more confidence in who you are; everybody gets angry at the world now and then!
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
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(Original post by this charming girl)
This may sound really superficial but try changing your style- get an edgey haircut, nose piercing or something... Then your outward appearance refletcs how your feeling and you tend to accept it more. Then let yourself be angry when you want to be... Your probably angry because you don't feel you're letting people know your true feelings. Accept them and let people know them.

Also try a sport that can release your anger: kickboxing or something.

It doesn't sound like it's actually down to you being nasty and destined to become mental, you just need more confidence in who you are; everybody gets angry at the world now and then!
Thats a good idea I should try a rough sport, Im not piercing my nose though :0. I just change moods like 4/5 times daily sometimes Im looking forward to this course, make future plans and other times Im thinking what the hell am I doing its not for me so how am I supposed to make decisions if nothing is constant I never know which mood is the true/right one.
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Ahsan_123
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Yeah! We are all not perfect
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this charming girl
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Report 8 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats a good idea I should try a rough sport, Im not piercing my nose though :0. I just change moods like 4/5 times daily sometimes Im looking forward to this course, make future plans and other times Im thinking what the hell am I doing its not for me so how am I supposed to make decisions if nothing is constant I never know which mood is the true/right one.
I know how you feel with the mood changing, though I haven't figured out how to fix it. It would be a bit creepy to be completely serene the whole time though, think Bree from Desperate Housewives

Your mood help in a way for social care, in that you can probably empathise more with what people are going through... Hmm I don't know, I've changed my mind a thousand times about which career I want to follow.

Oh and another suggestion like the rough sport idea, try doing something artistic: sketch to music that matches your feelings, or write all your feelings in a diary, take up an instrument. They release tension, particularly the latter I find, and connect yourself more with how you're feeling. Good luck, I hope this helps a little.
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