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Too Old to Be a Mum?
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fire2burn
The amount of women who've now successfully conceived worldwide despite the age shows that despite the strain they're evidently able to do it.
Funny thing is in Japan, USA, Korea, etc this stuff isn't even news worthy any more. People have just gotten over the ick factor and moved on.
Funny thing is in Japan, USA, Korea, etc this stuff isn't even news worthy any more. People have just gotten over the ick factor and moved on.
women go through menopause for a reason, i dont think it should be tampered with
fire2burn
The amount of women who've now successfully conceived worldwide despite the age shows that despite the strain they're evidently able to do it.
Funny thing is in Japan, USA, Korea, etc this stuff isn't even news worthy any more. People have just gotten over the ick factor and moved on.
Funny thing is in Japan, USA, Korea, etc this stuff isn't even news worthy any more. People have just gotten over the ick factor and moved on.
I heard the woman on the documentary say something like "while people in their 20s and 30s were out having babies, I was doing other stuff".
Well too bad you missed your chance. How about actually considering the quality of life of the child. And the fact that your parent may be "lucky" to make it to your 30th birthday party is pretty lousy odds.
Parenting is a different experience for everyone. Personally, though, i'm in favour of more mature parents, as I don't believe 13-30 is old enough to give a child all the love and attention it needs (because your just starting to form a career and your still young& all)- although there will be exceptions! So no, i don't think there's anything wrong with having a child at 50- With today's life expectancies, by the time their parent(s) die they should be mature and independant enough to be able to accept it, although, of course, it's a difficult thing for anyone to accept.
Liptease
Actually it's still controversial in the US. Although i can see it being a tough issue to legislate.
I heard the woman on the documentary say something like "while people in their 20s and 30s were out having babies, I was doing other stuff".
Well too bad you missed your chance. How about actually considering the quality of life of the child. And the fact that your parent may be "lucky" to make it to your 30th birthday party is pretty lousy odds.
I heard the woman on the documentary say something like "while people in their 20s and 30s were out having babies, I was doing other stuff".
Well too bad you missed your chance. How about actually considering the quality of life of the child. And the fact that your parent may be "lucky" to make it to your 30th birthday party is pretty lousy odds.
There are plenty of people who's parents wont be at their 30th birthday either... death from illness, death from accidents, family breakdown. What next we stop cancer sufferers from having children because there's a relatively high chance in the grand scheme of things that the illness will come back and knock them off too?
The whole well they might be dead in a few years argument isn't really an argument at all unless you're willing to extend it to anyone who has an elevated chance of dying. There would be uproar if you tried to ban terminally ill women from conceiving.
tinktinktinkerbell
women go through menopause for a reason, i dont think it should be tampered with
The whole things happen for a reason isn't an argument at all. And thank goodness doctors don't accept that reasoning.
Otherwise we'd just leave cystic fibrosis and cancer sufferers to die. After all that is the ultimate application of things happen to our body for a reason, thus we shouldn't tamper with it.
You build your argument on shaky foundations.
fire2burn
The whole things happen for a reason isn't an argument at all. And thank goodness doctors don't accept that reasoning.
Otherwise we'd just leave cystic fibrosis and cancer sufferers to die. After all that is the ultimate application of things happen to our body for a reason, thus we shouldn't tamper with it.
You build your argument on shaky foundations.
Otherwise we'd just leave cystic fibrosis and cancer sufferers to die. After all that is the ultimate application of things happen to our body for a reason, thus we shouldn't tamper with it.
You build your argument on shaky foundations.
what the actual ****?!?!?! you are clearly missing the point here
1) since when was the menopause a disease?
2) since when was it curable?
3) since when was cancer a natural thing to happen?
the menopause is NATURAL, it happens to ALL women, cancer doesnt
its stupid to compare the two, the menopause is the bodies way of saying it can not handle any more children
fire2burn
There are plenty of people who's parents wont be at their 30th birthday either... death from illness, death from accidents, family breakdown. What next we stop cancer sufferers from having children because there's a relatively high chance in the grand scheme of things that the illness will come back and knock them off too?
The whole well they might be dead in a few years argument isn't really an argument at all unless you're willing to extend it to anyone who has an elevated chance of dying. There would be uproar if you tried to ban terminally ill women from conceiving.
The whole well they might be dead in a few years argument isn't really an argument at all unless you're willing to extend it to anyone who has an elevated chance of dying. There would be uproar if you tried to ban terminally ill women from conceiving.
I would hold the same rule for certain cancer patients. Absolutely. It depends on their condition and prognosis. This isn't about what the mother wants but about the welfare of the child. I think these mothers are being incredibly self centred. It's part of a wider culture of "I want, I must have".
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I think that it should be down to the individuals and the doctors involved to make a decision about whether it is the right decision to them really.
One thing that actually gets me quite angry is the argument about the parents getting unwell and dying when the child is still relatively young. My mother had me at 30, when I was around 10 she was diagnosed with MS and deteriorated during my teenage years, I cared for her and she finally died when I was 22. While this did effect me I don't think that it meant that I wasn't able to have a well balanced and relatively happy childhood. Just because these women may potentially die and be disabled during their children's childhoods does not mean that their children are going to have a good life. Despite my mum dying when I was still relatively young I still knew that I was loved and wanted by both my parents and I don't see that older parents can't provide the same sort of loving upbriging that I have.
While I know that it isn't exactly the same I think that it is pretty comparable.
So basically I think that older women who want to conceive should be counselled on the possible biological, social and psychological consequences both for them and their children. However if they are healthy enough to go through with the pregnancy (after investigation) and really want to go through with it then I lean towards letting them.
One thing that actually gets me quite angry is the argument about the parents getting unwell and dying when the child is still relatively young. My mother had me at 30, when I was around 10 she was diagnosed with MS and deteriorated during my teenage years, I cared for her and she finally died when I was 22. While this did effect me I don't think that it meant that I wasn't able to have a well balanced and relatively happy childhood. Just because these women may potentially die and be disabled during their children's childhoods does not mean that their children are going to have a good life. Despite my mum dying when I was still relatively young I still knew that I was loved and wanted by both my parents and I don't see that older parents can't provide the same sort of loving upbriging that I have.
While I know that it isn't exactly the same I think that it is pretty comparable.
So basically I think that older women who want to conceive should be counselled on the possible biological, social and psychological consequences both for them and their children. However if they are healthy enough to go through with the pregnancy (after investigation) and really want to go through with it then I lean towards letting them.
Personally I think the menopause is there for a reason. OK, so men can go on and father children right up to they are very old, but for women its very different they have to go through giving birth, something I"ve been through twice, C section deliveries too both of them.Then theres the sleepless nights, teething etc all of which is exhausting when women are young, never mind when they are old enough to be a Grandmother.Its not something I agree with tbh. Even at my age ( 37) I personally feel too old to do it all over again.
My Mum is 69 and has dementia, imagine if she had me when she was 60, I would be a little girl of 9 without a Mum, or a dad as he died 2 years ago.
My Mum is 69 and has dementia, imagine if she had me when she was 60, I would be a little girl of 9 without a Mum, or a dad as he died 2 years ago.
The thing that irked me about one woman is that she claimed she hadn't had the opportunity because she spent her most fertile adult years looking after her elderly parents. Surely it would be the same thing for her child? OK, she said she'd go straight into a nursing home if anything happened, but surely that would put a LOT of stress on her daughter? Having said that, I wouldn't be too concerned about her having another child. I can imagine sharing the burden of having older parents that may require care/support, or to stand by if others in the playground are unkind would be easier than going it alone.
Having said this, no one knows when these childrens' parents are going to die. A 20 year old mother could get ill and die when her child is a year old, or a 60 year old mother could live until 100. However, the risks as an older mother are much, much higher. I don't think it's necessarily fair to have a child you cannot look after properly (like the woman whose hands were so deformed by arthritis that she was unable to bathe them), and I think sometimes these women have to realise that their time to be a mother has passed. I think having a child at that age is selfish, but if the mother is in good health, it is no more selfish than people of any age wanting to have their own children.
However, a part of me just wants to tell them to get a cat.
Having said this, no one knows when these childrens' parents are going to die. A 20 year old mother could get ill and die when her child is a year old, or a 60 year old mother could live until 100. However, the risks as an older mother are much, much higher. I don't think it's necessarily fair to have a child you cannot look after properly (like the woman whose hands were so deformed by arthritis that she was unable to bathe them), and I think sometimes these women have to realise that their time to be a mother has passed. I think having a child at that age is selfish, but if the mother is in good health, it is no more selfish than people of any age wanting to have their own children.
However, a part of me just wants to tell them to get a cat.
I'm a believer of the natural cycle of things - I think you should age naturally, have children at a natural child-bearing age, grow old physically and aesthetically and just accept it, and die at a natural age without trying to prolong your life with surgery or any other 'I fear death' ideas.
My dad was just over 40 when he had me, and obviously a little older when he had my younger brother, and I don't consider that to be so bad (second marriage - I have 5 siblings altogether). I wouldn't really judge a woman for having a baby at that age either - I don't think I'd judge a woman at any age. I'd be devastated if I couldn't have kids, and if at the age of 55 I was offered a chance I think I'd snap it up, so I'm a little laid back and open minded about the whole thing. However, I feel that there's something different about having a child at that age - for one, child-raising is exhausting even when you're young, fully mobile (generalisation, but it could be possible for a 60-70 year old mother to not have this) and as full of energy and health as possible. I don't morally judge, I just think that personally, you should have children at an age where you naturally can, without any artificial help - that's what nature intended, and messing with it is asking for trouble!
I have a bit of a thing against women who put off having children until they're that age to focus on a career- I'm not with the whole feminist thing strongly, as I think you should devote your time as fully as is practically possible to any children you have, or to the career you choose to follow (congrats to women who can manage both, but I think it's normally to the detriment of both if you attempt it). It's a little selfish to put off having children to that age, and then decide you want medical help to have children now that your career is finished. (Not saying this is the only reason that women would be older and having children, just a possible one).
My dad was just over 40 when he had me, and obviously a little older when he had my younger brother, and I don't consider that to be so bad (second marriage - I have 5 siblings altogether). I wouldn't really judge a woman for having a baby at that age either - I don't think I'd judge a woman at any age. I'd be devastated if I couldn't have kids, and if at the age of 55 I was offered a chance I think I'd snap it up, so I'm a little laid back and open minded about the whole thing. However, I feel that there's something different about having a child at that age - for one, child-raising is exhausting even when you're young, fully mobile (generalisation, but it could be possible for a 60-70 year old mother to not have this) and as full of energy and health as possible. I don't morally judge, I just think that personally, you should have children at an age where you naturally can, without any artificial help - that's what nature intended, and messing with it is asking for trouble!
I have a bit of a thing against women who put off having children until they're that age to focus on a career- I'm not with the whole feminist thing strongly, as I think you should devote your time as fully as is practically possible to any children you have, or to the career you choose to follow (congrats to women who can manage both, but I think it's normally to the detriment of both if you attempt it). It's a little selfish to put off having children to that age, and then decide you want medical help to have children now that your career is finished. (Not saying this is the only reason that women would be older and having children, just a possible one).
tinktinktinkerbell
what the actual ****?!?!?! you are clearly missing the point here
1) since when was the menopause a disease?
2) since when was it curable?
3) since when was cancer a natural thing to happen?
the menopause is NATURAL, it happens to ALL women, cancer doesnt
its stupid to compare the two, the menopause is the bodies way of saying it can not handle any more children
1) since when was the menopause a disease?
2) since when was it curable?
3) since when was cancer a natural thing to happen?
the menopause is NATURAL, it happens to ALL women, cancer doesnt
its stupid to compare the two, the menopause is the bodies way of saying it can not handle any more children
Not really arguing for or against here, but cancer can happen naturally.
People used to die of it all the time, before medicine, as it can occur naturally, with 45 being an pretty good age to live too.
Skye333
Not really arguing for or against here, but cancer can happen naturally.
People used to die of it all the time, before medicine, as it can occur naturally, with 45 being an pretty good age to live too.
People used to die of it all the time, before medicine, as it can occur naturally, with 45 being an pretty good age to live too.
by natural i mean it happens to everyone/everyone of a certain sex
all women will go through the menopause, not everyone will go through cancer
Anything above 45-ish is pushing it. It's just not fair on the kid to have an old mum whilst every other kid's mum is still young and has her own teeth.
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