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Is it normal to only fancy much older men?
(Anonymous, please, because my friends'll take the mick like anything if it's not...)
Basically, just that. I'm 16, and currently madly, hopelessly in love with a 46-year-old man (which I hope he doesn't know). I keep going out of my way to see him, leaving school in all my free lessons to watch him from afar (if I put that sentence in context it would prove I mean it in a completely non-stalky way, but it's too awkward to explain), zoning out of conversations and important things and just staring at him.
I had a chance to speak to him and was far too embarrassed to even look at him, and when a woman handed him a glass of water and their hands touched I felt so jealous of her it was mental!
Not sure how to sum it up in one question, other than asking if it's ordinary. 'Cos I feel slightly embarrassed when my friends are talking about boyfriends and all that, and then they say 'soooo - anyone registering on your horizon, eh, Anonymous?' I always say no, because I get the the feeling they'll mightily take the mick if I said, Yes, actually, and he's the most wonderfully attractive balding married father-of-two you'll ever see. I mean, is it weird I even find his widow's peak attractive?
*heaves great sigh*
Well, over to you, TSR.
Basically, just that. I'm 16, and currently madly, hopelessly in love with a 46-year-old man (which I hope he doesn't know). I keep going out of my way to see him, leaving school in all my free lessons to watch him from afar (if I put that sentence in context it would prove I mean it in a completely non-stalky way, but it's too awkward to explain), zoning out of conversations and important things and just staring at him.
I had a chance to speak to him and was far too embarrassed to even look at him, and when a woman handed him a glass of water and their hands touched I felt so jealous of her it was mental! Not sure how to sum it up in one question, other than asking if it's ordinary. 'Cos I feel slightly embarrassed when my friends are talking about boyfriends and all that, and then they say 'soooo - anyone registering on your horizon, eh, Anonymous?' I always say no, because I get the the feeling they'll mightily take the mick if I said, Yes, actually, and he's the most wonderfully attractive balding married father-of-two you'll ever see. I mean, is it weird I even find his widow's peak attractive?
*heaves great sigh*
Well, over to you, TSR.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
I had a crush on a bloke who was 25 when I was 13... he was my trumpet teacher and I thought it was love. 
To think how much time I spent staring at him, confident he had no idea... its really embarrassing looking back, becase I must have been so blatantly crushing on him! The poor man must have been embarrassed too.
To think how much time I spent staring at him, confident he had no idea... its really embarrassing looking back, becase I must have been so blatantly crushing on him! The poor man must have been embarrassed too.Reply 2
iamnotarobot
I had a crush on a bloke who was 25 when I was 13... he was my trumpet teacher and I thought it was love. To think how much time I spent staring at him, confident he had no idea... its really embarrassing looking back, becase I must have been so blatantly crushing on him! The poor man must have been embarrassed too.
To think how much time I spent staring at him, confident he had no idea... its really embarrassing looking back, becase I must have been so blatantly crushing on him! The poor man must have been embarrassed too.I'm lucky that it's a situation where everyone in the room stares at him as a matter of course, so my mooning shouldn't be so obvious! But it's so painful looking back on how subtle I used to think I was with the person I fancied...
I guess everybody has those memories but it doesn't make it any less painful!Reply 3
That's only one guys though, I don't think it's accurately to say that you only find older men attractive, it's just that at the moment you can't see past this one. You should talk to him. You will find, always, without a doubt, that it is so easy to fall hopelessly in lust with people you've never spoken to because the mystery is also very appealing and when you start to find things out about them, it wanes very quickly.
Reply 4
Everyone I've ever had serious romantic feelings for has been over the age of thirty - so you're not alone.
Be careful; relationships like this are never as fulfilling as you think they will be. If anything actually happens, it turns into a horrible mess of him being flattered, you not knowing how to deal with things now they're actually happening to you, and lots of lies. Well, that's what happened to me, at any rate.
Be careful; relationships like this are never as fulfilling as you think they will be. If anything actually happens, it turns into a horrible mess of him being flattered, you not knowing how to deal with things now they're actually happening to you, and lots of lies. Well, that's what happened to me, at any rate.
Reply 5
It's fine as long as you don't act on it - that's the way society is.
Reply 6
Whats your relationship with your father like?
Reply 7
10
Imagine him taking a crap.
Still fancy him?
Still fancy him?
Reply 8
Reply 9
OP, does this one happen to be a maths teacher 
? I think you're me!!!
? I think you're me!!!Reply 10
14
hello im 57 
Reply 11
10
Anonymous
'soooo - anyone registering on your horizon, eh, Anonymous?'
Reply 12
Well I'm madly in love with Robert Downey Jr. Does that count? 
Reply 13
It's not considered "normal", but then again, very little is. Love is wherever you find it, whoever you find it with. However, I would advise you to get to know him as a friend first, and to know more about him, otherwise it may go horribly wrong. I would have advised this with any relationship where the feeling is one-sided by the way, it's not based on the age gap, I wouldn't consider that problematic.
Reply 14
This sounds more like a crush or infatuation than love, as you don't really know this man so well I presume?
It's normal... I think most people in their teens get an least one much older crush
16 is too young to pursue anything with someone so much older (and possibly illegal, depending on the situation).
And for others, older men are just much more attractive. I'm 21 now and I have to say I have always been more attracted to men in their late 30s or 40s than men my own age.
You'll know when you meet someone who is more than just total infatuation :-)...and if it's someone older, then so be it!
It's normal... I think most people in their teens get an least one much older crush
16 is too young to pursue anything with someone so much older (and possibly illegal, depending on the situation). And for others, older men are just much more attractive. I'm 21 now and I have to say I have always been more attracted to men in their late 30s or 40s than men my own age.
You'll know when you meet someone who is more than just total infatuation :-)...and if it's someone older, then so be it!
Reply 15
Double Agent
Whats your relationship with your father like?
I don't know if you're being sarky, but anyway: I feel like a bad relationship with him would explain that I'm looking for a substitute, but no, our relationship is good.
Chase Me
That's only one guys though, I don't think it's accurately to say that you only find older men attractive, it's just that at the moment you can't see past this one.
No, there've been others... any bloke who's gone prematurely grey, for example.
God, I sound weird.
BunnyS:)
OP, does this one happen to be a maths teacher ? I think you're me!!!
? I think you're me!!!Actually he's a farmer. I can't believe I fancy a farmer!
Miss_Scarlet
This sounds more like a crush or infatuation than love, as you don't really know this man so well I presume?
Oh, I know, I was being silly when I said I was madly in love. I'm just madly infatuated...
Thank you to everyone who's replied, I really appreciate it! (Apart from whoever posted the picture of the very old man in the rain. You can go unappreciated today.)
Reply 16
Anonymous
No, there've been others... any bloke who's gone prematurely grey, for example.
Actually he's a farmer. I can't believe I fancy a farmer!
No, there've been others... any bloke who's gone prematurely grey, for example.
Actually he's a farmer. I can't believe I fancy a farmer!
Grey hair
And what sort of situation would require lots of people to be looking at a farmer
That said I do sort of get what you mean, I've had countless crushes on older guys but they are just that, a crush that you get over.
Reply 17
Nope I dont really think there is anything wrong with it. You are at the age of consent as is he.
I've had friends who have been in realtionships with older men(40+).
I've had friends who have been in realtionships with older men(40+).
Reply 18
it's normal. i'm 18 and in love with a 26-year-old man. i was attracted to his intelligent conversation and caring, sincere attitude. btw the feeling is mutual and he has never tried anything physical on me. fyi my mum approves of him.
Reply 19
I love older men!!! Any takers?
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