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    :hug:
    op you sound genuinly sorry and concerned...its awful when these things happen...if your bf is sensitve and you honestly love him id go for staying with him...just because if you loved him so much youd learn from the mistake it wont happen again i guess...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I cheated and ended the relationship as I couldn't continue it knowing I'd cheated. I didn't initially tell him that I cheated but then I decided that I should be truthful and ended up telling him....don't stay with him and not mention it...how would you feel if someone did that to you?
    This is the crunch point.

    I agree with you though OP it is of course possible to cheat on someone you love and completely regret it and never cheat again. Unfortunately taking him for a fool is likely, though I can't be sure, to make you feel bad.
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    Tell him the absolute truth.

    You've already done a horrible thing. You don't want to become a liar on top of it all.

    Ive been with my girlfriend for over 2 and a half years and id HATE to find out that shed cheated on me and didn't tell me. Even more than knowing in the first place.

    Option 3.

    Stop drinking, If you cant handle it you shouldn't have the privillage.
    And that.
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    Too bad you're such a drunk! You've ruined your love life! Congratulations <3
    WTF is wrong with you?!? Either say something useful or go away!
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    You've already ruined your relationship. You've tainted it.
    Your "love" and "trust" is now based on a lie. Your actions mean your love is as worthless as a stick of dog ****.
    Don't drag this relationship out; you're a failed cheat and a pathetic human being.

    The guilt WILL rip out your soul and devour you from the inside. Your decisions matter not in the long run. You've already destroyed yourself when you decided to be a drunk.

    Your love is worthless. Either way, what you've done will devour you from the inside. That won't change.

    And either your boyfriend dumps you now, or he'll dump you later. Both ways, it will tear you apart. You'll disappoint him again. How pathetic.

    Scum like you remind me of why cheaters disgust me so much. And seriously? DRINKING? How the **** did you not see this coming, you brainless idiot?

    (P.S., even if it's harsh, the bashing is correct and deserved. Oh, and I don't care if I get negative rep, etc. etc. for this. You're honestly pathetic, and I'd like you to know that!)

    Have a nice life.

    Hmm. I smell a religionist.
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    It's not that bad since you didn't have the mens rea (guilty mind).
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    No one is worthless. And he deserves to know everything and then make up his own mind
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    I said something useful earlier on the first page. It was useful because it was the brutal truth.

    Maybe if she exerted more control over her actions, she wouldn't have put herself in such a stupid situation and ruined her current love life.

    Now she's become a pathetic and groveling human being (this is the truth. No matter how harsh, it must and shall be said).
    But how is what you said helpful at all?

    Are you hoping she realises "what a failure she is" (according to you) and jumps off a bridge?!?
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    (Original post by MHorman)
    Option 3: Tell him the whole story and hope that he gives you another chance....

    i vote for this one ^

    he deserves to know the truth OP. i imagine it would hurt more if you just brokeup with him without telling him why, and it would hurt the most if later on he found out about it. imagine how much he woudl trust you then?
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    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    Hmm. I smell a religionist.
    I follow no religion, so your nose must be messed up. If you want to have a philosophical, religious, or political debate with me, go ahead.

    Hmm. I smell a crack snorter.

    It doesn't take religion to know that consumption of alcohol when you're not responsible can lead to very very bad decisions.

    (Original post by h82think)
    But how is what you said helpful at all?

    Are you hoping she realises "what a failure she is" (according to you) and jumps off a bridge?!?
    I do not want her to jump off a bridge. I want her to learn from her failures and to suffer from her failures like a human being.
    I've done suffering from my own failures (although nothing to do with love at all), and have learned to be a better person.

    OP considers possibly not facing the consequences of what she's done. And I'm ramming into her head that regardless of what choices she makes, she will reap the FULL consequences of her actions REGARDLESS of what she does now.

    Her choices make little to no change. She must reap the consequences, the 99.99%+ chance of losing her boyfriend, and learn from it.

    Reaping the consequences means she will suffer from her stupidity and her weakness in character. If I sound too harsh, it's because I give a damn for righteousness, trustworthiness, and the feelings of her boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    I follow no religion, so your nose must be messed up. If you want to have a philosophical, religious, or political debate with me, go ahead.

    Hmm. I smell a crack snorter.

    It doesn't take religion to know that consumption of alcohol when you're not responsible can lead to very very bad decisions.
    anything can lead to a bad decision.

    for example, i consider calling some one you don't know a 'crack snorter' a bad decision. and i'm neither drunk nor irresponsible.

    get off your high horse, i can't imagine your life is free of mistakes.
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    This kind of thing scares me . I'd hate never knowing and having a lie as a relationship.
    You have to tell him otherwise everything is based on a lie.
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    (Original post by emilina)
    anything can lead to a bad decision.

    for example, i consider calling some one you don't know a 'crack snorter' a bad decision. and i'm neither drunk nor irresponsible.

    get off your high horse, i can't imagine your life is free of mistakes.
    I'm not on a high horse. Because I spew the truth, suddenly you assume I'm implying that I've been the best person free of mistakes, EVER?

    You're an assuming idiot. You assumed I was religious. Based off your rash assumption, I threw your attitude towards me RIGHT BACK AT YOU, assuming you to be a crack snorter.

    Whether you are a crack snorter or not is besides the point. You make assumptions about me, I make them about you.

    (Original post by Chloeee02)
    This kind of thing scares me . I'd hate never knowing and having a lie as a relationship.
    You have to tell him otherwise everything is based on a lie.
    Well said! +Repped you (Even though reputation doesn't matter whatsoever.)
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    I would personally say neither of the two options. Stay with him and tell him, whats the point in breaking up with him for no reason, thats the worst feeling ever being dumped and not knowing the reason why. Surely that will hurt more?!
    As I am a guy, who has been cheated on I can tell you it hurts, its possibly the worst feeling you could ever go through, but if hes that much in love with you and he trusts you then he will understand that it was a silly mistake, forgive you and you can get on with your lives. However, if you feel this could happen again then I urge you, do not under any circumstances get back with him because thats the icing on the cake! Like I said I was cheated on and I gave the girl a second chance, but when that person cheate don my again, its enough to completely break you. Luckily for me I was young and not madly in love, but as for him I can honestly say it would destroy him completely.
    Hope I have been able to shed some light on your situation
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    I'm not on a high horse. Because I spew the truth, suddenly you assume I'm implying that I've been the best person free of mistakes, EVER?

    You're an assuming idiot. You assumed I was religious. Based off your rash assumption, I threw your attitude towards me RIGHT BACK AT YOU, assuming you to be a crack snorter.

    Whether you are a crack snorter or not is besides the point. You make assumptions about me, I make them about you.
    pardon? when did i say or do any of that? :curious:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My 2 options are to stay going out with him and pretend it never happened. Or to break up with him and not tell him the real reason.

    .

    OR (and i know this idea is so far out there and crazy)

    you could stop being a *****, be honest with him and let him find someone decent
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    Option 3: Tell him the whole story and hope that he gives you another chance....
    This. You're obviously sorry but he's gotta know. A relationship without trust and honesty is simply going through the motions. You knowing what you've done will kill the spark eventually; your only hope is to tell him and hope you can work through it.
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    Anyone laying on guilt on the OP is clearly an idiot.

    OP you do not 'deserve' any random hate or dissing from strangers - that is the cold hard slap of religious monogamy ethics rearing it's head, which people still haven't shaken off, even if they do not follow any religion expressly.

    It's her relationship and their problem. They agreed, through convention, to be monogamous and so to cheat is to break this agreed trust. Her situation only depends on whether she can be happy knowing that she has broken this agreement, which personally I think a little unlikely unless she is very good at repression. If theoretically she could forget it completely it would be the best option because as she said he would never know. But since she can't erase the memory and feels very guilty I doubt she will be happy so imo best to tell him.

    That's how to answer this and I don't see it as anyone's place to judge her, it's not your girlfriend or boyfriend.
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    Getting drunk, cheating on people...there is no excuse. He should dump you !!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know I'm going to get so much abuse for this, which I deserve.

    I got very very very very drunk last week (I don't remember going to his room) and slept with one of my friends who was also pretty drunk. I am absolutely distraught about it, I have cried on and off the past week, can't sleep and don't know what to do. I'm not saying this for sympathy but just so you realise I'm not taking this lightly. Nobody will find out as the guy I slept with has a girlfriend too so he won't tell anyone.

    What's hurting the most is how it would ruin my boyfriend if I told him - I just can't. He would never trust a girl again (even a faithful one) and it's not fair to make somebody else suffer like that. So I can't tell him.

    My 2 options are to stay going out with him and pretend it never happened. Or to break up with him and not tell him the real reason.

    Please help me. I love him so much, we have been together for years and have an amazing relationship - whatever people say you can cheat on someone you love that much. We could easily end up getting married, except for my stupid stupid mistake which I know I have to pay for.

    Help from people who aren't just going to tell me I'm a *****/whore/slut/deserve to die would be really appreciated.
    Obviously dont tell him. It was a terrible mistake and you were very drunk and youre paying for it now. Just block it out of your head, I know it would probably be very hard but it was a completely meaningless act. There is no point in telling him. Just make sure he doesnt find out. x
 
 
 
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