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Being 'the other woman' = moral responsibility for cheating? watch

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    I'd say yes, it is partly your fault, but mainly his.

    Would you allow someone to steal something that was irreplaceable from someone, just so you could have it?

    It's a case of ethics. Yes, they did the stealing and so on, but you enabled them in doing that. It's ******* harsh.

    Especially if you only want a shag and she's got serious emotional commitment going on - that's awful.

    ~

    That said, I allowed someone to emotionally cheat on their boyfriend with me. I think he knew about it from the off. I don't know exactly what I was thinking - I was lonely, she really seemed to like me, he seemed like a complete abusive *******. He didn't deserve her. I wouldn't've slept with her without his knowledge and consent though. I wish I'd known her relationship better to support her more when she left him though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you get together with a guy knowing that he has a long-term girlfriend, is that a terrible thing to do or is it his responsibility alone? Is being the 'other woman' really that bad? It always seems like these women are made out to be absolute *****es but half of me thinks that other people's relationships have nothing to do with you and you should just let the guy make his own decisions. :dontknow:

    Also, where is the moral line in this situation? Like, is it only wrong to actually have sex with them or does 'emotional cheating' count too?

    Anyone have any advice/experiences to share? Thanks.
    well since my dad ****** off for the other women i think yes it is wrong to be the thrid party in this relationship. yes his relationship is long distance but it is still worth something. nothing will ever justify cheating in my eyes
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    i think its both parties responsibility, more so the one in the relationship, but still the "other woman" if they know about the guy's girlfriend. I just don't think it's something you should do on a moral level, and quite likely the person whose willing to cheat may be pulling the strings and exploiting both people. Even if you don't know the guy's girlfriend, it is still a person with feelings, and to take away someone's happiness that's a bad thing to do :/
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    (Original post by Jamie)
    My 'friends' are people who care about me and my well being. Otherwise they would just be acquaintances.
    I struggle to figure how one could trust a friend after they took part in such a betrayal.
    Unless you simply call people 'friends' but don't trust them. Like facebook friends.
    Which would be quite sad way to live.
    I didn't see it as a betrayal and I do trust her. It was her misunderstanding and my boyfriend's fault for cheating.

    I don't understand why you're trying to make me feel badly towards my friend, when we're absolutely fine. Clearly you have some sort of problem with it, but I don't get why that means that I should as well.
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    I have no problem being the other woman, in fact I prefer it.
    I think you shouldn't get yourself into this situation however if you have stronger feelings for this man, or if you think you will develop feelings for him. Chances are, he'd never leave her for you even if you started wanting that. And even if he DID... he could just as easily cheat on you as he has on his gf...

    Personally, I would never cheat on a boyfriend. But if I am single, and am attracted to a man who isn't... I consider that his decision. If I was good friends with the girlfriend/wife though, then it's a bit different and I wouldn't betray my friend.

    If you can be attracted to the man and not end up feeling like you want more than he is willing to offer, then being the other woman is a situation I prefer.
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    It's definitely wrong, and the blame lies equally or 60/40 on the guy and the other woman, unless she doesn't know that he's got a girlfriend. Even if she doesn't know the girlfriend, she knows that somewhere someone is being hurt, unless it's an established 'not exclusive' relationship, but then obviously it wouldn't be cheating. If the other woman fancied this guy, she should make it clear and then say when he's single, he should give her a call.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    I think it's disgusting when girls get annoyed at whoever their boyfriend cheated on them with, unless it was a really dear friend.

    It's pathetic. The blame lies on the person in the relationship who cheated.
    this. if it wasn't with a particular woman then it would of been someone else. To say she had an agenda or doing it just for a thrill is awful- they were probably taking advantage of and lead on, pretty vulnerable- although there are some who do it for themselves but not in every case

    To blame it on the other woman would be saying that if it wasn't for her he wouldn't of cheated- if he's even considering to cheat then the relationship is in trouble

    The blame is the one who is playing two or more people at once.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    I think it's disgusting when girls get annoyed at whoever their boyfriend cheated on them with, unless it was a really dear friend.

    It's pathetic. The blame lies on the person in the relationship who cheated.
    This true in general...especially when the 'other person' didn't know that the cheater had a partner (the blame lies absolutely with the cheat). However, when the 'other person' knows, then the behaviour is pretty disgusting and a certain level of censure is probably understandable.

    When the 'other person' is a friend, that person's conduct has been reprehensible and should no-longer qualify as a friend in my opinion.
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    ive been "the other guy" before.

    its a judgement call I think.

    if you know someone is in a good relationship, it'd be wrong to come onto them, especially if they're drunk, yet, if they came onto you, its their decision, so its all coolies.

    in my case, we were sober, she started it, so I didn't feel bad at all.
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    Wow. I'm shocked at some of the responses. The other woman is absolutely responsible. The only exception is if the other woman didn't know the man was seeing someone.

    Yes, the man is the one in the relationship. But the other woman's decision to be with him is going to hurt his girlfriend/wife and the other woman knows it, so she should be held responsible. Is she responsible for the man's relationship? No, but that doesn't mean she has the right to be a jerk.

    For instance, when I walk into a building I have no responsibility for the stranger walking behind me. I have made absolutely no commitment to them. However, that doesn't mean I'm just going to let the door slam in their face. I'm going to hold it open because it's polite. I'm not going to say, "Well, I don't know them, so I don't care what happens to them; let the door smack them."

    I'm sorry, but taking all of the blame off the other woman is ridiculous. She's a human, she has a mind, she knows what she's doing will hurt someone in the end and she does it anyway. It doesn't matter if she doesn't know that person. It's a horrible thing to do.

    It's like being an accomplice in a murder. Sure you may not have pulled the trigger, but if you conspire with the killer and you supply the gun, the bullets, and the directions to the victim's house, you're going to jail too.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    I didn't see it as a betrayal and I do trust her. It was her misunderstanding and my boyfriend's fault for cheating.

    I don't understand why you're trying to make me feel badly towards my friend, when we're absolutely fine. Clearly you have some sort of problem with it, but I don't get why that means that I should as well.
    I couldn't give a monkeys about your friend, so nil problemo.

    I just question your use of the word friend. Your described actions of a friend are contrary to the typical behaviour I would expect of any of my friends.

    If i had split up with someone for a few months would I expect them to ask me before making a move? No. If i was still dating them (even if rocky at the time or broken up for a few days) then its unthinkable that a friend make such a move.


    But if thats the behaviour you feel is normal amongst your friends, and the sort of thing you would also reciprocate then thats entirely up to you.
    'Horses for courses' ey.
 
 
 
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