Basically I've come to a point where I know I need to make pro-active changes for my own good.
Cut a long story short:
Some unfortunate things happened to me and I ended up very low, dropping out of college and going on the dole for about 8 months during the recession -I couldn't get any work and felt so ashamed of it.
Anyway, things took a better turn and I ended up at a very good university studying something I love.
Problem: After my 8 month stint living for nothing I became cynical and disconnected from people. I started to become suspicious of people (not paranoid - I just didn't want to engage because I felt I'd be let down) and I was basically angry at the world. I went through the worst period of my life alone and not even my mother helped me out (she lives far away and has a whole new life). I just spent those 8 months reading and going for walks by myself, I also did voluntary work but I didn't click with the people.
So anyway, I thought things would change at uni and I'd make friends. Hasn't happened. I'm naturally shy but now I've got this 'don't give a **** what you think of me' streak - so I'm too shy to approach people and give up even when they try to approach me (not in a mean way, I just don't even attempt to be confident).
I'm starting second semester now - new classes, new people, new chance. I've decided to join some socs etc in the hope that I can make friends. At school/college I always had a circle of friends now I have none. I know I've done this to myself and I need to change. I have three 'friends' that I'm in contact with from an old job but we never see each other (live too far away) and 1 friend - my bestfriend from highschool and we see one another very occassionally.
So...advice on how to conduct myself in the new semester and how to escape from this cynical and angry mindset? I'm desperate to change things - I can't stand being alone any longer, it's been nearly 11 months now.
Thanks for any help.
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- Thread Starter
- 28-01-2010 01:11
- 28-01-2010 01:28
I hear you liek reading so read this. The only way to break this mindset is to actively change your behaviour and this book should help you do that.