I want to talk about something annoy me lately. I'm a chemistry student and I have a great happy life and very huge dream which may go to scare my environment that I live in if I speak up. Moreover, I'm not the person who likes to talk about dreams in public because I'm afraid to loss in affront of them and I know surely as every ambitious person dose that every dream has its consequence (losing several times send reports telling you how correct you were). People may label you as loser when you still at the beginning. Let's don't care so much about others opinions' in our life's but when this feeling proceed from you, it may steal you attention to something different. It would lower the empiricism level and generate totally new concept to redirect my attention again into unlikely position. Now I'm really terrified about if I have been measured my ability accurately to fit this role or I'll live in an illusion of "that wasn't me".
I just can't give myself a second chance to complete what I did start. It hurts me to think or know that I'm the same person who I was trying to avoid him in my story. The sophisticated, well-educated and aristocratic person who used to be live inside me has to leave or he may wasn't existed in the first place. Since I had take part in responsibility of moving on, all of them were too pushy. They wish if I would be an electronic device which is doing everything with no mistakes. I have to regulate and control the incorrect inputs I received into outstanding materials. Wait a minute, I want to be such person as they expect and more. I like the task in the benign because it's adding nonstop confidence of the record. Especially, when confidence's scale based on accomplishments. Things had changed; I just couldn't comprehend if this going to work further more or I'll turn to the closer short cut to end the whole story.
I don't want to give up already but I like the idea when I remember that I'm a human with customary tools and ability. The story developed into sensitive situation, it's not about the dream any more it's about the normal life. I don't want read my books, do my task or just meet people. In this stage, I'm not hiding from the community, I do hide from myself. I can't shut dawn the idea of I could be the person who I want to be. But I have to do it now and then to give myself a break. The funny part of this is nobody observes my failing where I'm sadly did.
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I'm a good actor/did I do the right thing? watch
- Thread Starter
- 28-01-2010 11:02