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What do you think of my boyfriend? (VERY long post) watch

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    I actually read all of that tbh it sounds as if you have wasted enough time on him, it is easier said than done but i really think for your own sake you need to basically get rid .. it will be hard especially if you have lots of mutual friends and as you have been together for so long but imo it's the best thing and it sounds like you know that ? it sounds like you have some good friends who will help you get through it as well
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    Sounds to me as if he has problems with girls and seems to have an unhealthy attitude to all the women in his life. If he was younger maybe he'd grow out of it, but it'll probably get worse over time. He's just going to keep hurting you and every time you take him back you make it more acceptable.

    Your relationship is going nowhere because neither of you want the immediate pain of splitting up. You need to be brave and take feeling rubbish for a while, in order for it to get better again in the future. I know it's hard, but you have to look at the long term picture.

    Not to be critical, you've got a more than enough reasons not to trust him, but in future relationships thing like reading their text messages or searching their room would not go down well at all. Trust works both ways in a relationship. (And the longer you stay with him, the worse any trust issues with future men will become)

    Hope it works out for you
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    Was the 2+ years history really necessary? I think he's been foolish, but is an alright person.
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    i would say break up with him, it sounds like he would make a much better friend than boyfriend, maybe one day you can be friends again :/ but it does sound like there is no future and a lot of negative feeling there, so you have to try and be strong, he doesn't deserve you and your forgiveness, and from what i've seen of people they don't change very easily :/
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    Dump him! He'll just keep on hurting you.
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    He seems not that bad to me, but hes far away from being good. You are also sort of a problem... even in relationships there are some things which are private.
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    I read it all! And yes, DUMP HIM. Never talk to him again, tell your mum not to let him in if he knocks at the door, block his number, email, MSN, delete him off Facebook, tell everyone what a SCUMbag he is. However he may have some sort of mental issue with the weird photo thing so while your dumping him give him some advice - tell him if he's that upset about you leaving him he should tell a counsellor about his mental problems. He's a total nutcase and if I was your friend IRL I would've demanded that you'd got yourself some self respect and broken up with him the first time he cheated. Even if he is genuinely sorry, he's only sorry when you are actually leaving, and then a while later he decides to risk what you have to get with some other girl. Imagine if it was someone else telling you this story, and asking for advice. It's a no-brainer, though it sucks that you love him. Ice cream will be required! x
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    So I did read through it all
    Of course only you can decide, and I know through all of it you know inside what you're going to do. He doesn't sound worth your trouble, you're young and and you can do alot better!
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    You should probably get rid of him, the thing about the girls pics on the mp3 is a tad wierd! Though ppl do strange things when their own their own...If im on the top floor of a bus, for example, i usually sing to myself :O:
    The fact that he came back right away when you told him probably shows he is kinda ashamed, overall though the guy does spell disaster though! Let him go lightly he's obviously not right for a relationship yet anyways...(Getting off with other girls, all the porn etc.)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you so much for all the replies, I seriously can't believe people read that. It wasn't necessary to give all that detail, but damn it it made me feel better. I can't talk to anyone I know about this because it's just too embarrasing really.

    I wish I could reply to everyone individually but there are much more posts than I was expecting! But firstly, to the person who called me a troll, do you really think I'd go to all that effort? For something that isn't even remotely funny? Well actually, some poeple do... but not me, this is actually my life lol.

    To all those telling my I'm pathetic, that I need to grow some balls and a backbone and stop being a pushover. I know you're absolutely right, and that's exactly what I was expecting. But unfortunately it doesn't make it any easier, even though it should. I don't know why I'm like this, it's just that you slip into a lifestyle and everything seems normal, even when it's not. You feel that you have to put up with stuff because that's just your life, even though I know it's not and I can change it. And of course, I love him. And - this is going to sound REALLY pathetic - the pictures thing was just a few days before Christmas, which was the reason I didn't end it then, I didn't want to ruin Christmas sad I know. I was so close to ending things on new year, I got so angry to the point where he stopped talking to me (he doesn't take it well, ifever I try to resolve things he'll just stop talking), and I couldn't handle it because I had no-one else to talk to. So I just stopped being angry, and haven't been since. I'm kind of numb now :/

    And to all those who are supporting me, thank you. I think it's just what I was looking for. You're right, I know what I want, and need, to do, but like I said I can't talk about this with my friends (especially because they are slightly involved, with the picture thing, there's no way I can tell them that) so I just feel like I need some moral support. So I'm very grateful to you

    And to the person(s) who said he'd make a better friend, I completely agree, and that's what I want. I know he's a good guy deep down, he just quite clearly shouldn't be in a relationship. I guess I'd be doing him a favour too. I'm terrified though that he'll not want to be my friend, I think that's another reason why I haven't ended it yet. Oh and to everyone who says completely cut him out of my life - I completely understand where ou're coming from and I appeciate the advise, but it's not going to happen. Unless he makes it that way, that is. We have some amazing memories and to cut him out of my life would be like erasing all those memories, which is sad.

    There's so much more I want to say, but then this post will end up as ong as the first so I shall stop.


    I know what I have to do. I just don't have a clue how to go about doing it it's horrible too because his parents are great, and they love me and then it's just explaining the situation to everyone, I haven't got a clue how I'd do that.

    Oh one last thing, most of you have agreed that the picture thing is more than a little strange, this was another thing I was most curious about your opinions on. Because I din't really know how to take it. He was awfully embarrassed by it,I think he knows it's not normal. I told him I thought he was a pervert, in the most sincerest way. He asked if I thought he needed help, and I said that I didn't know. And then at one point I got quite angry, remembering all my friends on there, and I told him that if I ever catch him perving over any of my friends again, I'm going to tell every single one of them about the pictures (maybe a little harsh, but my friends mean the world to me - unfortunately they're all away at uni, which is why I feel so alone a lot of the time )

    I lied, that wasn't the last thing gosh I ramble. Anyway, I know that looking through his stuff was wrong (2 wrongs don't make a right) but I swear I was never like that until he made me, and then I got obsessed because obviously I don't trust him. I really, really hope I don't carry this habit over onto any other relationship

    Aaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddddd finally; I'm not 17 anymore, we were 16 when we got together, now 19.Just to clear that up
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    when i was reading that the only thing i was thinking was 'what the hell is she still doing with him?'
    seriously, he sounds like a first class ****. get rid, you're making a show of yourself.
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    I find the pictures on his MP3 extremely wrong and creepy. He has some serious mental issues. If I were you OP, I'd break up with him very, very gently and try not to make him angry. Then, also gently, I'd cut off contact with him completely. And go to uni far away from where he lives and keep it a secret from him.
    • #3
    #3

    Not sure how i managed to read all this, but how on this earth did you manage to forgive him second time!!!! Dont you have any sane friends who tried to get some sense into you?

    a little offtopic: Are you an asian?
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    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Post some bullet points/summary
    Not reading all that
    this

    srsly, don't you h+r people know how to summarise?

    :eek3:
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    Just from the bold bit, sounds like a twunt dunny? Be the better person, get rid. And no disrespect to you, it's cos of the photos thing - he sounds pretty desperate to me, if he's got those photos on the side. Eugh. CREEPY MUCH?
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    I cannot believe I read it all, but I may as well reply now.

    My verdict is that you dump him. Storing photos of people in the way that he did is just creepy and makes me wonder what other messed up secrets he has. However, more pressingly, he's betrayed you numerous times and you're getting yourself sucked into a vicious cycle of love and anger.

    Dump him and block him out of your mind. Friends and family can give you a sense of security, not him (by the sounds of it).
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    OP I know many people have said this and this will sound harsh but weak people like you really annoy me. I can't stand when good people get ****** over by others and they don't do anything about it and allow the others to keep on ******* them over and over and over. What does he need to do for you to forgive him?? No wonder he's cheating on you left, right and centre. There is nothing he can do that will make you dump him. As far as he's concerned you're a safe bet because he keeps screwing you over and over and you keep forgiving him. He has absolutely no respect for you.

    You sound like a really nice, decent girl. Please for the love of God leave him once and for all. You're not worth that piece of ****. Who cares if he has issues? THe only issues you have is with him. Relationships should be fun and easy going, not perpetual tears, disappointment and finding out your bf is snogging everyone you know. Also be aware that everyone that went ot that party,all his friends and people in his class know he's cheating on you. By default they lose a little respect for you. Please please op, please leave him. This guy has brought you just pain and distress, he has brought you nothing positive in your life.

    Start respecting yourself by dumping that piece of ****. Grow some balls, man up, psyche yourself up and DUMP HIM! You can do much much much much better than that.

    Also, the individual folders with girls he knows on his mp3 is REEEEEALLY freaky. Porn, ok. But his friends? AND he's blocked out the males int eh pics?? Wtf? This guy's a psycho.
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    You should get rid of him and kept him only in your momery and moved on. That is good for you
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    I read that.

    I'd like my 15 mins back please. :mad:



    Seriously, get rid. He's not good for you :no:
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    I read it ALL. DUMP HIM NOW! You will end up being hurt OVER and OVER again!!!
 
 
 
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