The Student Room Group

sex ed...Too much, too young?

People blame the increasing number of teenage pregnancies on the lack of education, i personally believe that these days children are over educated! Im only 18, however sex eductaion has changed dramatically since i was taught. We were shown the basic ins and outs and told that it was 'when a mummy and daddy love each other' perhaps for teenagers its a little patronising, but i still find it rather disturbing that my 13 yr old cousin is being taught how to 'pleasure' herself and her boyfriend! seriously!!. i simply didn t no, so i didnt do!! Im not a prude AT ALL, i love sex as much as the next girl, but i now take responsibilty for my actions and fully understand the implications, i simply do not believe that those of 13 and 14 yrs are mature enough to be told the full story of sex, cos they simply abuse it and want to try it out!!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
luvly_laura
People blame the increasing number of teenage pregnancies on the lack of education, i personally believe that these days children are over educated! Im only 18, however sex eductaion has changed dramatically since i was taught. We were shown the basic ins and outs and told that it was 'when a mummy and daddy love each other' perhaps for teenagers its a little patronising, but i still find it rather disturbing that my 13 yr old cousin is being taught how to 'pleasure' herself and her boyfriend! seriously!!. i simply didn t no, so i didnt do!! Im not a prude AT ALL, i love sex as much as the next girl, but i now take responsibilty for my actions and fully understand the implications, i simply do not believe that those of 13 and 14 yrs are mature enough to be told the full story of sex, cos they simply abuse it and want to try it out!!


My "girlfriend" when I was 13 (she was 12) was told by her biology teacher to straddle a mirror placed on the floor to explore her body. So I think what they show in sex ed is nothing.
Reply 2
Each school does sex ed differently.
I managed to have one lesson on sti's and contraception in the total of 5 years at secondary school. This lesson only focused on the contraception that the girls can use internally..the pill, the implant, the coil etc. And the Sti's were very breifly went over...basically all that was said was that sti's can be spread through sex... I was 14.

I knew all of it before the lesson though as my mum has always made sure I knew what I wanted and knew enough to remain safe and be able to help any friends that needed support.
I knew a lot of stuff from a young age, not much was hidden from me in terms of education about social relations/sex etc. I was the annoying brat that would go around the playground telling the kids that calling someone a gaylord wasn't really that offensive.

I'm now 18. I'm not a virgin, but I have always known how to protect myself. I have had scares as a result of condoms faulting..and I have always known what to do, where to go.

Now I didn't have sex ed extensively in school. The most sex ed I got was in primary school...watching videos of cats giving birth/nudist beach/cartoons of vaginas. But I did know how to pleasure myself and other people from a young age. This doesn't mean that I went out and did it. I was told what a blow job was at about 7 years old. I didn't go out and give a kid one.
Along with the practical sex ed I was taught (though primary school and leaflets/books/conversations from home) the relationship side, respect for my body. I was taught how sex is a private thing and something to be shared with the person you love. Arguably this is the most important part of sex ed that seems to be over looked along with sti/contraception.

I do agree with you in a sense..they shouldn't be educated about what to do and that be it. There needs to be more, there needs to be more on the theory so to speak. Kids need to be taught to respect their bodies.
Reply 3
luvly_laura
People blame the increasing number of teenage pregnancies on the lack of education, i personally believe that these days children are over educated! Im only 18, however sex eductaion has changed dramatically since i was taught. We were shown the basic ins and outs and told that it was 'when a mummy and daddy love each other' perhaps for teenagers its a little patronising, but i still find it rather disturbing that my 13 yr old cousin is being taught how to 'pleasure' herself and her boyfriend! seriously!!. i simply didn t no, so i didnt do!! Im not a prude AT ALL, i love sex as much as the next girl, but i now take responsibilty for my actions and fully understand the implications, i simply do not believe that those of 13 and 14 yrs are mature enough to be told the full story of sex, cos they simply abuse it and want to try it out!!

I think this is taking it a bit too far! I got sex ed in 1st and 2nd year (when i was 11 & 12) and even then (only about 3 or 4 years ago) it wasn't as detailed as that! We were told about masturbating but not a great deal. So, i do think that they could be over-stepping the mark with that one.
However, last year we were taught about the stresses of having a baby. So it sort of helps balance out the teen pregnancies in some cases. It certainly put a few of the girls off in my class!
Reply 4
We literally didn't get anything! We got told the biology of it all but that was about it! Oh, and how to put a condom on (practising on a banana :p: ) when we were in U5th, which by that time, was too late for most people anyway :rolleyes:
bohogirlie
We literally didn't get anything! We got told the biology of it all but that was about it! Oh, and how to put a condom on (practising on a banana :p: ) when we were in U5th, which by that time, was too late for most people anyway :rolleyes:


we got taught absolutely nothing except the biological stance on it all, like this is the penis (really :eek: , i would never have guessed :biggrin:)
Reply 6
olliemccowan
we got taught absolutely nothing except the biological stance on it all, like this is the penis (really :eek: , i would never have guessed :biggrin:)

:p: Yeah :dito: really
Reply 7
I definitely think they overdo it :smile:... I mean, making 12 year old's put rubber condoms on plastic you know whats is basically telling them, "It's okay, you're ready to have sex now, so here's how you do it." The kids think, "Oh, but if they're teaching me how to do it at school then it must be okay"

It's a very contradictory message when coupled with the "Don't go bonking till your sixteen" talk schools set out in front of the parents.
Reply 8
Luize
Each school does sex ed differently.
I managed to have one lesson on sti's and contraception in the total of 5 years at secondary school. This lesson only focused on the contraception that the girls can use internally..the pill, the implant, the coil etc. And the Sti's were very breifly went over...basically all that was said was that sti's can be spread through sex... I was 14.

I knew all of it before the lesson though as my mum has always made sure I knew what I wanted and knew enough to remain safe and be able to help any friends that needed support.
I knew a lot of stuff from a young age, not much was hidden from me in terms of education about social relations/sex etc. I was the annoying brat that would go around the playground telling the kids that calling someone a gaylord wasn't really that offensive.

I'm now 18. I'm not a virgin, but I have always known how to protect myself. I have had scares as a result of condoms faulting..and I have always known what to do, where to go.

Now I didn't have sex ed extensively in school. The most sex ed I got was in primary school...watching videos of cats giving birth/nudist beach/cartoons of vaginas. But I did know how to pleasure myself and other people from a young age. This doesn't mean that I went out and did it. I was told what a blow job was at about 7 years old. I didn't go out and give a kid one.
Along with the practical sex ed I was taught (though primary school and leaflets/books/conversations from home) the relationship side, respect for my body. I was taught how sex is a private thing and something to be shared with the person you love. Arguably this is the most important part of sex ed that seems to be over looked along with sti/contraception.

I do agree with you in a sense..they shouldn't be educated about what to do and that be it. There needs to be more, there needs to be more on the theory so to speak. Kids need to be taught to respect their bodies.




i totally agree, i was just making the point that these days kids seem to be told the positives of having sex in relation to the physical pleasures and not really taught the mental responsibilities incurred through sex at a young age!
i also think that the fact that they are openly given abortions without parental concent is shocking, i think it advocates unprotected sex and takes responsibilty away as they no that if it all goes wrong they arent going to have to face up to the consequences!
:redface:
Nasrin
I definitely think they overdo it :smile:... I mean, making 12 year old's put rubber condoms on plastic you know whats is basically telling them, "It's okay, you're ready to have sex now, so here's how you do it." The kids think, "Oh, but if they're teaching me how to do it at school then it must be okay"

It's a very contradictory message when coupled with the "Don't go bonking till your sixteen" talk schools set out in front of the parents.


i personally think they dont really need to teach you anything, i mean sexually i quite sadly learnt everything from porn, and i was a hell of a lot more competent than most boys my age when i was younger. i would think it was common sense all the "you need to wear a condom" stuff etc.
wow think i should get a refund for my so called sex ed which consisted of learning about sanitary towels/periods etc and the biology of sex and that we should use condoms but we were never given one to hold as that would have been a bit scandalous at my prep school!! even at secondary school only the boys were given condoms and the girls were given leaflets abt where to get contraception etc im sure it would be a great contract fro ann summers to give out free vibrators to girls in the hope that they won't go out and get pregnant at a silly age ... lol it's not just in schools sex is everywhere on tv in the new GTA on posters CD covers...no wonder the kids are at it like rabbits especially in this country where respect for anyone seems to going down the spout with this yob culture that we have ...sorry i'll be quiet now
Reply 11
i just had the basics, ie 'this is how babies are made' i jus feel now its a little to graphic and encourages jids to do it!
I think that most sex-ed classes are designed to inform kids about STIs and that's it. I've never heard of a class that goes beyond showing how to put a condom on and showing photos of pus oozing out of someone's genitals to illustrate STIs. If it's any more than that it's useless.

When I was 16, we got a "relationship" conference. It was a bit late but I thought that the approach was clever. Although it's a lot trickier as it can quickly lead to claims that people are trying to enforce their moral values instead of informing. At the end of the class, we were allowed to hand in anonymous questions. You can imagine what they were like :rolleyes: "My penis is extremely small. Will it still grow". "I have no friends. My name is Corky (a nasty nickname given to a guy in our class). How can I make friends?"

What kids are lacking aren't knowledge of the bits, it's knowledge of human interaction... kids should be taught how paedophiles can groom them over the internet, how an older person can convince more easily, how a younger person tends to be impressionable...
Reply 13
What kids are lacking aren't knowledge of the bits, it's knowledge of human interaction... kids should be taught how paedophiles can groom them over the internet, how an older person can convince more easily, how a younger person tends to be impressionable...


Good point!

My cousin was shown a video (bearin in mind shes still only13) a video about teenage couples (like 14,15 and 16yrs) and their sexual relationships. obvioulsy some were virgins, but a few of them were describing there first sexual expereinces (where,when, how it was) my cousin feels that she is left out cos she is one of the only girls who has not done 'stuff' with boys, when i was 13 the only pressure i had was who had held hands!!
Reply 14
I think that yes, it's good that schools are teaching kids sex education, in whatever form, but I also think parents should take a role in it too. I mean, look at the 3 sisters who had kids when they were 12,13 and 14, their mother blamed the school for not educating them properly! :eek:

I think if a parent can sit down and talk to their child about sex, then it will improve their relationship and also may help the child come to them if they have any worries. My Mam sat down and we had the first installment of 'the talk' when I was about 11 (the same time she told me Santa Claus and the tooth fairy weren't real - as if I didn't know haha) it was basic but gradually she told me other things, and so as a result know I can go to her with anything. Same with my Dad really :smile:

I just think too many parents seem to let the school take over, to save them embaressment, then are the first to copmplain when their daughter falls pregnant.

Well thats my opinion anyway :biggrin:
anjimcflanji
wow think i should get a refund for my so called sex ed which consisted of learning about sanitary towels/periods etc and the biology of sex and that we should use condoms but we were never given one to hold as that would have been a bit scandalous at my prep school!! even at secondary school only the boys were given condoms and the girls were given leaflets abt where to get contraception etc im sure it would be a great contract fro ann summers to give out free vibrators to girls in the hope that they won't go out and get pregnant at a silly age ... lol it's not just in schools sex is everywhere on tv in the new GTA on posters CD covers...no wonder the kids are at it like rabbits especially in this country where respect for anyone seems to going down the spout with this yob culture that we have ...sorry i'll be quiet now

We were given a "free condom card" for the clinic across the road! :eek: Even the first years go in. They had to stop giving them out during lunchtimes and intervals cos so many people from my school were going in!
I remember having to work out how much having a baby would cost per year. I don't think there is enough relationship advice, as opposed to sex ed. People know what sex is and the dangers etc but perhaps they don't really appreciate who they're having it with enough?

I think that some responsibilty should lie with parents. My boyfriend's mum is quite open and he's talked to her a lot but my parents suck!
leannemann
I remember having to work out how much having a baby would cost per year. I don't think there is enough relationship advice, as opposed to sex ed. People know what sex is and the dangers etc but perhaps they don't really appreciate who they're having it with enough?


That's exactly what I think :top:
I've had at least two weeks worth of sex ed lessons, every year since year 6 (I'm moving into year 12 next year) and they're STILL telling us "The penis enters the vagina. The sperm connects with the ovum." They've taught us how to put a condom on, about STIs, contraception, periods, puberty, birth (oh, way WAY too much detail on birth. If I have a baby, I'll go to some of the birthing classes thank you very much) and pregnancy and pretty much everything else, which is better than some schools. But there's still a lot of people in my year group who get up to everything with everyone, without protection. I think the problem is that my school said nothing about relationships - eg, "before you have sex, know what you're doing, do you respect and trust this person? Do you feel you're really ready?" Not just, "Hey kids, have some free condoms!"
tbh ::this sounds really stupid:: but i still dont know which way the condom goes as in which way you roll it out ....i'm sure it's obvious once confronted with one but you can see how effective my sex ed was can't you? i agree with leannemann i think they should teach you basic like how to cook look after yourself (even if only prep for uni) and then babies, but also they should teach relationship stuff like help for domestic violence, alcohol, stis dealing with parents , emotions. my friend's school does APAUSE (not sure what exactly it stands for) but the VIth form teach it in demos and role play ie how to say no to someone trying to sleep with you, and talking about their own experiences if they want to which went down really well the yr 9's i think it was relaly responded to it and gained more than a stuffy bio teacher