What Kind Of Luv Is This?

Its been now 7 Months with my g/f and regarding the issues of problems, she still cant open up to me.
She does her very best to talk to me when she is down, but she has had a problem for a week or so now and in that time she has made efforts to talk to me normally, but then yesterday she had a mood swing on the phone and went.
Normally every morning she calls me, today she hasnt nor replied to my text.
Ive aksed her to talk to me, but she says there is no problem and hates me keep bugging her as if there is.

What do I do?
I cant stand not talking to her when there is a problem.
Shes chosen not to answer my calls as well.

Reply 1

DeLboY

If she doesn't feel that she can open up to you about it then you should understand, it may go much deeper than you realise, and she may not feel fully comfortable talking about it with anyone, so I don't think you should not take it personally.
Just let her know that you will be there for her if she does decide to open up to you, but that she doesn't have to. Don't try and force the issue on her, you will probably end up pushing her away.

Reply 2

bean69

from my experience i think your girlfriend will talk to you when ready. i was the same wanting to help when my girlfriend when i thought there was a problem and it can be so frustrating! i would just tell her that if she wants to talk your there to listen. i wouldnt keep trying to get her to talk to you, because she'll just get more annoyed. hope things work out.

Reply 3

musicbloke

17

PMT - just learn t o put up with it.

MB

Reply 4

TOD100

musicbloke

PMT - just learn t o put up with it.

MB

Change it back to boy

Reply 5

chriswhit

1

It does sounds like she needs some space and that chasing her will only make her withdraw further. Try not to take it so personally..we all need our space and often people like to make sense of things themselves before talking to others. You sound caring and supportive, and she will know that..so just let her come to you when she is ready :smile:

Reply 6

Gem

14

Maybe she doesn't feel like she's ready to open up to you completely, 7 months is a while to go out, but some people need a lot longer to feel entirely comfortable. I think you should let her know you're there for her, but not force things out of her. She'll come round in her own time, I guess you'll just have to be patient, easier said than done though, I know.

Reply 7

viviki

14

Just leave her alone. Some poeple don't tell people everything. I don't share everything with poeple I'm a private person that doesn't alter when I date someone. Just give her a wide berth if you are bugging her to tell you stuff its probably making her problem worse.

Reply 8

tillgii

OP

ok fair enough. For the past 2 weeks I thought there was somthing up with her, but said nothing and it just got worse over the past few days. She is hardly talking to me now. How long should I be patient for? 3 weeks, 4 weeks.
I understand what you all are saying but yeah it is vey hard!

Reply 9

viviki

14

If I was her and you were bugging me about something I didnt want to talk about I'd certainly evade your calls. Maybe write her a letter. Theres not the pressure of immediately speaking to you then, telling her you're concerned about her and you just want to check shes ok and that it isn't anything wrong with your relationship. Emphasise theres no pressure to respond straight away.

Reply 10

tillgii

OP

How long should I give her? She knows im always der for her.
Ive texted her couple of times just letting her know what I was up to and one with one of them 'me 2 u' mms messages.

First time in months she hasnt spoken to me in a day and its hard.

Reply 11

DeLboY

If the contact really has been as frequent as you say, then shutting you out for no apparent reason like this is out of order. It is either something really serious, or something mind boggingly pathetic.
Dont keep barraging her with text messages, she will start to resent you prying in to her business. She probably doesnt realise what she is doing to you in the meantime, either that or she doesnt care.

I hate to say it, but maybe she's found someone else? Did you notice her being any more distant in the last few days, you know, not replying as quickly, or just really neutral, unemotional texts??

I hope im wrong, but shutting your partner out with no attempt at an explanation is usually a bad sign.

Reply 12

viviki

14

She hasn't spoken to you in a day. Come on give the girl a break its not like shes completely ignoring you then is it?

Reply 13

Saffie

11

How long should you give her: At least a week. Don't keep sending her texts saying what you're up to, it will just annoy her.

Reply 14

dashboardphotos

"What Kind Of Luv Is This?"

The kind that's spelt wrong =p

Only kidding mate. Personally I think you should maybe back of a bit and give her some space. I'm quite the affectionate type myself and although I mean it with the best intentions it's countlessly ended with my girlfriends breaking up with me due to me being too "clingy", and I always think back and think "if only i'd let them be for a bit instead of pestering them..." but it's too late now. Give her the silent treatment and ignore HER for a while, she'll crave the attention if you draw it away from her.

Reply 15

Fluffy

15

tillgii

Its been now 7 Months with my g/f and regarding the issues of problems, she still cant open up to me.
She does her very best to talk to me when she is down, but she has had a problem for a week or so now and in that time she has made efforts to talk to me normally, but then yesterday she had a mood swing on the phone and went.
Normally every morning she calls me, today she hasnt nor replied to my text.
Ive aksed her to talk to me, but she says there is no problem and hates me keep bugging her as if there is.

What do I do?
I cant stand not talking to her when there is a problem.
Shes chosen not to answer my calls as well.

You can't even use the word 'love', so may be it cuts both ways?

Reply 16

tillgii

OP

Fluffy

You can't even use the word 'love', so may be it cuts both ways?

What do you mean by I cant use the word love?

Reply 17

Fluffy

15

tillgii

What do you mean by I cant use the word love?

You used the word 'luv', which in itself doesn't suggest a mature, adult relationship.

Reply 18

tillgii

OP

Fluffy

You used the word 'luv', which in itself doesn't suggest a mature, adult relationship.

Oh come on this is the internet.
I just got a certain style when typing, a mere word aint sumthing to be judging on.

How would you define a mature and adult relationship, on a basis of words?
I totaly disagree to that.

Reply 19

tabbyc@t x x x

it is really nice to know that your partner cares about you and is willing to find out what is wrong, because you feel loved etc. However, i think you may have been pushing a little bit too hard there, i mean, i know it is really frustrating (understatement of the year i'm afraid) to do, but it has got to be done hun.

I do know how much it hurts not to have the person u really care about not feeling they are able to trust you entirely, but that could just be temporary, if you handle this situation well enough ie: no pressure
no hassle
"just to let you know i love you" note with only that on it.
and maybe next time she will feel she can confide in you more strongly. It's just important to let her know you're there for her. But yea, lol, don push it.

i really hope this helps and you know her better than any of us so use yuor knowledge to help her and your relationship, gd luck! (i wrote all that?! crikey!) lol. :p:

What Kind Of Luv Is This?

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