T people I live with think I'm lying about everything

I have various disabilities that I was born with and some that appeared later on in life.

It was obvious to the people I live with that I'm visually impaired and have wheat intolerance. (because there's a load of food in the fridge and freezer that says "free from" on it and it all has my name on it)

According to them, I am faking my disabilities and lie about them a lot - because apprently, I have them when they suit me. What I have varies a lot.

On Wednesday, I got asked if I'd received a letter about halls stuff and I yes. Another girl asked me the same question. (note: I was never asked if I'd read it) The second girl accused me of lying because I've told them several times that I can't fill out the maintenance form. (there are simple ways around making things easier to read - there is no easy way around trying to fill in a form)

I said to them "I suggest you look up Nystagmus. Whilst you're at it, look up brain injuries". The second girl said it was convenient that I'd just mentioned my brain injury - I had no reason to disclose this to them. (I had an accident 9 years ago - but have only had problems on & off for 7 years - this is not unusual)

Am I in the wrong here for not saying anything my brain injury from the start? Anyone I've talked to, has said I do NOT have inform everyone I meet of my disabilities. I also know plenty of people who have only mentioned theirs because it's come up in conversation. (if their disabilities are obvious, I may ask about them; but other than that I tend to say nothing) Other than that, I only inform people when I meet them if I feel it's relevant. (like the friend of mine who informed me that his child can't talk. It was also obvious that he can't walk either)

I stormed out and wandered for a bit. I came back and asked to be let in. The warden in the office had a right go at me. I don't think he believed me when I said I was at a friends' house.

I went into my room, collected some stuff and went back out. (I planned to be out that evening anyway)

I then got a load of abuse from 2 of the girls.

When I came back in, I managed to see no-one. I've hardly been out of my room since then because I know I'm just going to get abuse from them again.

All this has been made out to be my fault - I'm not the one who accuses people of faking disabilities they know nothing about.

Reply 1

Hooj

Moral of this story is, don't fake disabilities...

Reply 2

make-cookies-not-war

I think what you should try and do is sit them down and explain what disabilities you have and what they mean, so that they understand them. Do it in a kind manner, say "I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything, it's just the way it is, and I hope you can appreciate that". Show them some evidence if you can, doctor's note or something., Try to wipe the slate clean.

If that doesn't work, then they are pathetic and just not worth it. And I don't know what else you can do. It would be difficult living with people like that, but you'll either have to put up with it or try and move accomodation or something. Some people are just inconsiderate unfortunately.

But no, I don't think you have to instantly go telling everyone you meet all your disabilities, that's just silly. But after all this, it's best to get everything out, and try and start again with these people. Good luck :smile:

Reply 3

The Referee

There was no need for you to tell them about the brain injury (from the start I mean...it's up to you who you tell and when outside of any occ health or safety matters). Unfortunately, little effort is made to educate people about disability and the effects...thus there is little tolerance unless you are obviously blind/paraplegic/tetraplegic/or clearly have a limb missing (or badly damaged). There is often no understanding that some problem only become apparent in certain situations!

If your flatmates were nicer, I'd suggest sitting one of them down and explaining what is the matter and why you didn't tell them. Are you at uni? Talking to someone might be a good idea.

Good luck sorting this out, I hope you're not living with them next year.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

The Referee

Good luck sorting this out, I hope you're not living with them next year.

They've pretty much made it clear they don't want to live with me next year. I wouldn't care if I didn't see them after this year has finished.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I have already explained to them the basics of Nystagmus. it's a very complex condition and I'm not going to sit for hours explaining it.

Reply 6

Lamptastic

Ooh sorry to hear about this. I think avoiding them will make you feel alienated so try and perhaps explain what your disabilities mean and how everyone can live around them.

You should never feel obligated to explain yourself to people you've just met. Your disability should not be the be all and end all of their relationship with you.

My friend would eat meat only on special days and although we mocked him for it we respected him.

If its too uncomfortable why not try and arrange alternative housing. Its a real shame but these people seem to have a problem with you being different. :frown:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I<3LAMP

Ooh sorry to hear about this. I think avoiding them will make you feel alienated so try and perhaps explain what your disabilities mean and how everyone can live around them.

I have already attempted to do this; but they're still convinced I am faking it. I do have a few letters in my room that do prove my visual impairment; but nothing about my brain injury.

I am looking at alternative housing; but it's having the money to pay rent on both places and eat.

What doesn't help me at all is that, one of them once said "my parents are doctors and therefore know everything". She was having a go at me because I'm apparently wearing the wrong glasses. :rolleyes:

Reply 8

Lamptastic

Anonymous

Hmmmm it seems that they are choosing to be ignorant and not take your word for it. Is it just your diet that is restricted or does it actually impact on them?

I do understand about the money thing, money is a joke right now!

LOL well ok...if their parents know everything your housemate would be able to tell her parents about Nystagmus.. and fully understand your problems.

I think you may have to just swallow your pride and get on with it and concentrate on studies/work etc... Get a fridge for your room if you are allowed if you really don't want to be near them. But this will make you look hostile which may make it worse...

I hate people who judge :mad:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

I<3LAMP

Hmmmm it seems that they are choosing to be ignorant and not take your word for it. Is it just your diet that is restricted or does it actually impact on them?

My diet has no impact on them at all. It can be quiet restricted; but doesn't impact me so much that I can only have food that is "free from".

Get a fridge for your room if you are allowed if you really don't want to be near them. But this will make you look hostile which may make it worse...

I am so tempted to do this. The 2 girls were talking about getting acamping fridge anyway, because there's hardly room in the small fridge we have.

It might also solve the issue of food being stolen

Reply 10

anon1212

Sorry about that. It sounds like you live with some pretty nasty people. You could move. You could stay. If they're making your life miserable move.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

anon1212

Sorry about that. It sounds like you live with some pretty nasty people. You could move. You could stay. If they're making your life miserable move.

It's not that simple though.

Reply 12

Anavrin1990

Tbh, they sound like ignorant little girls who think theyre gods gift to the world

If explaining to them isnt helping, get some evidence as some people have said, a doctors note or something. Maybe thatll open their eyes a little bit? Used to live with a girl who claimed she was depressed and suicidal, we didnt believe her, just said she was over dramatic until she showed us her meds, scars and a note from a doctor. After that, things changed.

This however sounds down right sick. If they dont listen to you after showing em evidence then just ignore them, get on with life and make some new friends who are more understanding and caring.

Reply 13

JellyBean123

This is pretty much bullying. I say report it to someone of university authority, then the girls will probably try and defend themselves by claiming you're faking your disabilities and being difficult, but the university will know of yur disabilities surely? So they can back you up and these stupid girls will feel very sheepish.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

JellyBean123

The warden in the security office already knows what is going on with them. (because of Monday & Tuesday) There are records in uni about my disabilities. Plus I do have various pieces of evidence about my disabilities.

Reply 15

JellyBean123

Anonymous

So tell them about what has been going on. I know it may seem a little strange going to someone about bullying when you're in uni, I mean surely everyone has grown out of it by now, but you're in a horrid situation that is making you miserable.

Clearly nothing you can say or do can help the situation, so maybe someone else can help you.