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Which is worse: Rejected because of your personality or looks? watch

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    #1

    Finally had the guts to ask out a friend of mine only to be shot down. It hurts because I thought we got on pretty well with each other, we're both chilled and have a couple of similar hobbies. He's told mutual friends in the past, that I'm kind of pretty so it's not like theres an issue of physical attraction.

    I'm gutted. It just feels like I've been rejected because my personality didn't stand out to him or something. Now I don't know what to do with our friendship, since if thats the case, he obviously doesn't find me that interesting...

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Got caught up in my own problem. But yeah... The question in the title.

    Which do people think is worse?
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    looks
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    Personality probably. You can change your looks, probably not personality. Well, unless you had a lobotomy, but that seems somewhat drastic.
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    Looks probably. It's more hurtful.
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    looks- you can change your personality to a greater extent if you work at it
    /thread
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    Either really
    Its not nice being made to feel as though there's something fundamentally wrong with either your looks or your personality that someone just can't dig.
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    Personality. Looks you are very much born with and it is very difficult to change. Personality you can shape to more of an extent.

    As it stands for you, I wouldn't consider him not wanting to go out with you a case of you having a bad personality, he just doesn't want to go out with you. It isn't anything wrong with you.
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    (Original post by bete noire)
    Either really
    Its not nice being made to feel as though there's something fundamentally wrong with either your looks or your personality that someone just can't dig.
    Indeed.
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    if it's between 'she's ugly' and 'she's boring/weird'
    ...i'd rather be called boring or weird.

    but both are PRETTY equally hurtful really, imo
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    Looks for me
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    I think personally, i'd say personality. It's not too difficult to do something about your looks, you can try and improve and alter your hair/makeup/clothing to some extent or join a gym to get fitter and feel good about yourself that way. But personality, owch. I find it would be much harder to alter my personality than my looks, based on the fact my personality is made up of my views, morals, experiences from the past, what interests me, my humour and all things like that. If someone rejected me because of that, it would make me question 'what's wrong with me' far more than 'what's wrong with my looks' because i personally think attraction is what gets someone interested or not, and if someone's interested then personality usually seals the deal. might just be me who thinks likes this though i guess....
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    you can always change your looks.. personality, not so much
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    (Original post by pigwigeon)
    Personality probably. You can change your looks, probably not personality. Well, unless you had a lobotomy, but that seems somewhat drastic.
    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    looks- you can change your personality to a greater extent if you work at it
    /thread
    (Original post by Tashinreallife)
    you can always change your looks.. personality, not so much
    (Original post by Rubgish)
    Personality. Looks you are very much born with and it is very difficult to change. Personality you can shape to more of an extent.
    contrasting opinions.

    guys think looks can't be changed, personality can.

    girls think looks can be changed, personality can't.
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    Looks.
    You can change your personality quite easy but not your appearance. Also if you look good but have a bad personality you still will have your stalkers, the other way not. The personality is more relative than the looks.
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    looks would hurt me more :emo:
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    (Original post by bete noire)
    Either really
    Its not nice being made to feel as though there's something fundamentally wrong with either your looks or your personality that someone just can't dig.
    Agreed.
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    being rejected for your personailty is a serious issue

    look's isn't, everybody isn't attracted to the same type of person - simple as.

    LOOKS & PERSONAILTY CAN BE CHANGED, life is flexible get over it.
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    Personality. I know I'm not good looking but I hope my personality's ok.
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    That doesn't necessarily mean he turned you down because of his personality just because he found you attractive - perhaps he's seeing/likes someone else, isn't over his ex, is gay? It could be anything :dontknow:

    I think I'd rather be turned down for my personality, because I'm very insecure about my looks. It depends why though - a guy saying, "sorry I'm a chubby chaser and you're too slim" is far better than "Sorry you're just way too annoying/shallow/whatever", but then "we've not got much in common" isn't that offensive either. But then I'd never be turned down - far too shy to make the first move!
 
 
 
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