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Which is worse: Rejected because of your personality or looks? watch

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    (Original post by O-Ren)
    Looks.

    An 'attractive personality' is much more subjective than an 'attractive appearance'.
    Good point. Though if you respect someone's personality and opinion and they think you're a tool that's also a pretty tough blow.
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    Looks. I think i would prefer to hear "i don't think we have much in common".instead of " i just don't find you attractive"
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    I would say for a girl, their personality. Like if you find a girl with looks she probs won't have a good personality where as on the hand you can find a girl which has a good personality, which matters.

    Going for looks i understand, but in my opinion it is quite horrible to turn down someone who doesn't have looks. but o' well.
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    (Original post by pigwigeon)
    Personality probably. You can change your looks, probably not personality. Well, unless you had a lobotomy, but that seems somewhat drastic.
    You're saying it's easier to change your physical features than your personality? Seriously what are you on, surely it's easier than changing the way you think/act/behave than your physical appearence with £1000s of plastic surgery?
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    (Original post by Where's My Sega?)
    It's probably because girls find it easier to change their looks, through a haircut or by wearing make up, whereas guys don't really get that chance
    I'd definitely rather be turned down by personality than by looks, because in my opinion, looks are what gets the attention, and personality is what keeps it. If you don't have looks then some people may not even give you the chance to show off your personality
    That doesn't make sense because in my situation the guy already knows my personality.
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    personality. you can change your whole image to improve your looks (maybe get a different hairstyle to cover your face) but it would take much more to change your personality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That doesn't make sense because in my situation the guy already knows my personality.
    Any reason why you're anonymous?
    How does it not make sense? Surely the guy who knows your personality must have seen you first, unless you met online or whatever.
    NORMALLY it's people's looks that catch someone's eye, is it not?
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    personality
    is worse imo.
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    (Original post by kevin_123)
    You're saying it's easier to change your physical features than your personality? Seriously what are you on, surely it's easier than changing the way you think/act/behave than your physical appearence with £1000s of plastic surgery?
    I'm of the opinion that personality does not change. Behaviour changes, of course, and obviously we as individuals can be aware of our behaviour and change it. But personality's completely different, and I don't think that can change because it is integral to who we are. Changing who we are on the outside, whilst expensive, is much easier. A completely off-topic example of this is those with gender identity disorders cannot change the way their minds believe they should be of the opposite sex to their bodies. They can't change their personalities, so many choose to change their bodies.
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    I'd rather not be told I was ugly.
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    Personality, for sure!
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    Neither; you can change both.

    But you don't know that he finds you boring - did he say why he rejected you? If he's been friends with you for a while he obviously finds you interesting. Maybe he just doesn't think of you in that way? I mean, you don't fancy every guy whom you find interesting, do you?
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    Looks, because it's a superficial thing to reject someone on. Of course, there has to be some element of physical attraction then, but someone who would have looks as the deciding factor need to rethink things. I suppose it may be a blessing to be rejected because of looks though; I wouldn't want to be with someone like that. If someone rejects you because of personality it's probably a good indicator that you wouldn't make a good couple anyway. If someone called me a ****** person, then I'd probably be hurt, but if someone didn't want to be with me because we weren't compatible, then that's understandable.
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    Looks.
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    (Original post by Where's My Sega?)
    Any reason why you're anonymous?
    How does it not make sense? Surely the guy who knows your personality must have seen you first, unless you met online or whatever.
    NORMALLY it's people's looks that catch someone's eye, is it not?
    No. My friend finds me physically attractive. He's rejected me because my personality isn't 'attractive' or 'ideal' for him.

    Hence the whole question: Which is it worse to be rejected for?
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    Personality by far.
    With looks I've kind of accepted I'm nothing special and I'll never be a lot of people's type.

    But I can never change my own personality (except as I grow) and besides, when you get old you get wrinkly and grey. All your personality gains with age is knowledge!

    And to the OP:
    You don't know for definite it's anything to do with your personality. He might just not be looking for a relationship or not want to ruin the friendship you already have.
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    Personality. If someone doesn't like my looks, it's not my problem, really. But personality traits define us. So it's "better" to be rejected because you're not fit, than for being dull, not intelligent, shallow, unbearable etc.
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    Being rejected on looks is worse by far, if you feel like there would have been potential between you and the other person, they just didn't find you attractive, it leaves you feeling helpless.
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    Looks is worse for me; as a previous poster said, an attractive personality is much more subjective than an attractive face/physique. And I'm an insecure girl, and it'd really damage my self-esteem.
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    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    looks- you can change your personality to a greater extent if you work at it
    /thread
    this.

    its true that you can change your personality more easily, but its still very hard. You can hardly change your looks, you could put makeup on...but i'd hardly call that chnging your looks, an surgery would only make such a slight difference too

    but what about if the looks thing is just because you're fat? I think it'd be easier to change your looks if you're fat than changing your personality...
 
 
 
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