has anyone else experienced this? i don't mean a temporary 'i hate men' phase after a rubbish boyfriend, but i mean really losing all hope that you will ever be with someone happily again.
i'm still pretty young but i've already had a very long-term (4 ish year) relationship which by all accounts, has ended pretty badly. the split was a mutual decision but it ended up getting quite messy, and we're now on civil but not particularly good terms. looking back, i shouldn't have expected it to have an 'ideal' ending but we really were best friends too and as close as close can be. he was accepted as part of my family, was basically closer to me than my family, and we were there for each other through so much. we knew each other inside out, had our entire future planned and honestly thought we were going to be together forever.
clearly this isn't going to happen now, and whilst i accept that it's over, it's completely destroyed my view of relationships. before, i honestly thought that i'd found my one special person who completed me, and i experienced all the benefits/good parts of being in a relationship as well as the bad parts. now that it's over, i'm still so young but i feel like i don't have the energy/inclination to ever be with anyone/let anyone in like that again. it's as though i've 'been there, done that' and don't want to go through it again. i know there's plenty of other lovely people out there who could (for a time) make me happy, but there's no guarantees and that just makes it all seem pointless.
i realise this makes me sound like a lovesick teenager, but does anyone relate? i'd like to change it if possible, but i don't know how.
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complete loss of faith in relationships/love. watch
- Thread Starter
- 29-01-2010 16:59
- 29-01-2010 17:11
******* tell me about it
- 29-01-2010 18:14
I can understand, to be honest. I haven't broken up with anyone, granted... but even now that I'm with my boyfriend, I struggle to see the point of finding someone new if we were to break up. It's nothing to do with him, per se, meaning it's not that I can't move on... It's just I can't see the point of going through the same emotional/financial investment only to be let down again... It's too much of a hurdle to gain something which has no guarantees anyway.
Still, I think it's only natural to feel that way if you just came out of a long-term relationship - and four years is bloody long! Give it some time, and see what happens naturally. Like you say, you're still young. There's no rush to be in a relationship and just enjoy life as it comes.
- 29-01-2010 21:19
I'm having that at the moment. I seem to be the one getting dumped when I put in the most effort to... sucks to be me, huh? Find it so hard to trust men now
- PS Helper
- 29-01-2010 21:24
You're not the only one. I think most of us go through phases where we have a complete loss in faith. But don't forget that there's more to life!