The Student Room Group

why am I so stubborn :/

If my boyfriend and I have a little tiff, I get so hacked off that I dont want to see him for the rest of the day/night but he cant just leave me alone to calm down, he's constantly ringing me, throwing stones at my window in order to get me to look/see him and go back to his to resolve things, but I just dont.
I know it's the best thing to do, but I never accept that I've gone OTT and eventually the argument gets so out of hand that he ends up getting so pee'd off that he starts throwing insults and stuff, things that he knows really hurt me. So then even after all this he still tries to get me to go see him and I just dont.

It's gotten so bad now that he said if I dont go see him/he come to mine, that he's not gonna see me for a long while and he'll just do what ever he wants and go his own way, make his own rules even though he's still in the relationship. So now I'm so stubborn and pee'd off and upset that I just tell him I dont care any more he can do what ever he wants. Even though he keeps trying to resolve it, I'm still too stubborn to admit I've cocked up and still put the hard act on :/

Whats wrong with me, seriously. We don't argue often, but when we do, it always amounts to me being too stubborn to want to resolve anything :/
Anonymous
If my boyfriend and I have a little tiff, I get so hacked off that I dont want to see him for the rest of the day/night but he cant just leave me alone to calm down, he's constantly ringing me, throwing stones at my window in order to get me to look/see him and go back to his to resolve things, but I just dont.
I know it's the best thing to do, but I never accept that I've gone OTT and eventually the argument gets so out of hand that he ends up getting so pee'd off that he starts throwing insults and stuff, things that he knows really hurt me. So then even after all this he still tries to get me to go see him and I just dont.

It's gotten so bad now that he said if I dont go see him/he come to mine, that he's not gonna see me for a long while and he'll just do what ever he wants and go his own way, make his own rules even though he's still in the relationship. So now I'm so stubborn and pee'd off and upset that I just tell him I dont care any more he can do what ever he wants. Even though he keeps trying to resolve it, I'm still too stubborn to admit I've cocked up and still put the hard act on :/

Whats wrong with me, seriously. We don't argue often, but when we do, it always amounts to me being too stubborn to want to resolve anything :/



I can see where you're coming from but basically you need to grow up a bit. He obviously cares about you a hell of a lot if he keeps trying so hard when you're being unreasonable and you don't want to lose that. So next time, just swallow your pride. Take a deep breath or something. Before it all kicks off try and calm down and remember how horrible it is when you get into these massive arguments. It's not fair on your boyfriend really and though he is being quite immature when he 'starts throwing insults', I can understand it must be very frustrating for him when you just won't cooperate.
Good luck!
i get the same unfortunately. its not that i dont want to resolve it, i just dont feel able to inside, i get so angry and i cant physically force myself to just forgive and forget. i think its just a matter or sitting down and talking it out till you feel better. often it can be useful to write it down in a fb message or letter and give it to him, then you are able to say what you want, uninterrupted, and you will definitely feel a LOT calmer afterwards, give it a try :smile:

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