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Do your mum/dad dictate to you when you can go out? or when you see your friends? Watch

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    (Original post by Drunk Punx)
    I'm sorry to hear that.

    But without trying to sound harsh, the passing of your sister isn't your or her fault (I assume), but I can sort of understand the whole "maternal instinct" thing concerning protection.

    Do you think that she'll ever relent?
    Oh no, don't be sorry, it's not your fault & I was looking for sympathy either. :p: but thank you.

    Nah, I don't. That's the way she is. She has next to no social life and I think she just wants to drag me down with her... that's what it feels like anyway. I'd rather be out with my friends than sitting on a computer on a student forum on a friday night yknow?
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    No, she's not at all. Thank God.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    Oh no, don't be sorry, it's not your fault & I was looking for sympathy either. :p: but thank you.

    Nah, I don't. That's the way she is. She has next to no social life and I think she just wants to drag me down with her... that's what it feels like anyway. I'd rather be out with my friends than sitting on a computer on a student forum on a friday night yknow?

    why not move out then..you don't HAVE to live with her
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    The worst thing and only thing they can do is kick you out of the house if they do that either stay at your friends or on the streets preferably the second. They will feel so bad as you slept on the streets like the homeless and your problem will be solved
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    I usually tell them that I am going out, they ask just for safety reasons you know, when to expect me back and stuff, and not to stay out too late, but they are not too fussed. As long as my grades stay high, I can go out during study leave for all they care. As soon as I fail...that's when the problems start!
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    I get exactly the same, but I'm 17. Thank GAWD I will be moving out as soon as I hit the big 18.
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    The only thing that dictates when I go out is my significant lack of money.
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    with me there no win......if i go out its like 'who you going out with? what time are you coming back?' etc ill just do the obvious and switch my phone of tbh plus i drive and if im out with the car she' would not care about me she would care about the god damn car....even if im on the phone i have to show her who im speaking to.........im going to turn 20 on monday and its like hell in my house...my university is like 10mins walk from my house.......my GCSE and A level grades are like high yet theres no pleasing this woman its either her way or the high way.........the uni im in wont allow me to stay in halls of residence because i live near by......i lost all my m8s to her becuase she hates them....i cant even stay at uni coz she will call me to death saying where i am and its like suicide is lookin to be the only option for me
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    Is this your mum?
    http://gotowenawszystko.ovh.org/phot...an_de_Kamp.jpg

    Seriously though, I'm 17 and I get more freedom than that. My mum and dad have their issues sometimes (we weren't talking for a few days there, and my mum wouldn't let me out until I'd tidied my room to her standards....which I'm still working on so I can get out tomorrow :rolleyes:
    Talk to her about it. Tell her you're not a child and you can move out.
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    My parents are exactly the same when I'm at home, and I'm 19 and have lived at university for a year and a half!

    Seriously though, if I want to go out I have to let my parents know well in advance if I'm at home. They don't often say no if I do ask in advance, but I can never ever ever go out at the last minute without a massive argument. They hate me staying out all night like at a friend's, absolutely hate it.

    For example, last term I came home for reading week, went out on the Friday night I came back, and came back about 5pm Saturday afternoon. Also went out and stayed out Monday night. When I wanted to go out the following Friday, I wasn't allowed! Despite the fact I'm 19, and am at uni! I think it's well unreasonable!
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    I get phone calls at 11:30pm from my parents asking me where I am, even if they know I've gone out for the night.

    They want me to be home for 12am :emo:
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    yeah they did, so i just stopped going out full stop. and i'm 15.
    now they want me to go out, and i won't because i don't want them knowing every detail of my social life.
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    dictate is the worng word, sometimes they advise but there again i have a car so cant excctly stop me!
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    i just go out regardless. i stay at a friends if im too drunk-actually i stay at a friends about 80% of the time because there's normally a group of us.
    Mum talks and my dad does, but I think they've given up. The only person that understands my habits is my brother but he doesn't live with me. My sisters are all "good" girls so they don't understand me. This is what happens when you have 8 sisters and only a brother
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    When I'm home I can do pretty much what ever I want. All this it's my house my rules BS. I pay rent, I pay for my own space and I can therefore use the space I pay for for what ever uses I see fit. I have a cool mum though so I don't have to argue my view anyway; I don't take advantage of her.
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    No. I had it until I was 16, then the rules were relaxed a bit, then when I turned 18, other than having to follow the house rules i.e. be down for breakfast or don't have any, bring down your washing on time etc. I could do as I pleased. I am 19 now, and I don't live at home, but I still have house rules to abide by. I never really had a problem with going out, mainly because my mum is my best friend, so we always saw eye-to-eye and could come to a reasonable middle-ground. My dad worries, such as the time I went shopping (visiting home, just a few days short of my 19th birthday) and didn't come back till 9pm, he had rung around all my friends and even my boyfriend who was in another country, to find out where I was, but this is just his way because he cares.

    The last things you mentioned about your mum taking control, I agree with her. There is nothing more annoying then whaen you have just finished cleaning and someone comes in to make a mess. I mean why couldn't you have done that BEFORE she starts cleaning!?!?! It is her house, you should follow those rules if you want to live there. As for not being allowed to go out, you need to understand that your parents worry. Despite age, they're still your parents and they will still worry. You need to talk to them though, not sit down and yell at them in a childish way, but them that you are nearly 19, an adult now, and you them to see this, so when you want to go out, you will do. Just remember, that if you do come in drunk and puke up all over their carpet or wake everyone up, they have a right to be pissed off. With the guests, I'd put this down to house rules again. I was never allowed boys over, even at 18, when I was living at home. In my new place, I am not allowed guests over at all, whether that be my parents, friends or my boyfriend. And if you later ended up living somewhere like this, you have to realise that these rules are in place for a reason (even if I am not sure why) and if you want to keep that roof over your head, you have to respect this.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I'm getting really pissed off at my mum.

    I wasn't allowed to go out tonight for my friends birthday for no ******* reason. She controls what I do constantly.

    I'm 18, nearly 19 years old yet I only get to go out on her say so, am never allowed to have friends around either (last time I had a guy over, she kept watching over him like a hawk like he was gonna pounce on me any second, so I've just totally given up with having anyone over) She also has some form of OCD in terms of cleaniness & she always has to have CONTROL in every situation. I'm not allowed to even making a ******* cup of tea because I'll "make a mess" or she's "just washed the floor".

    That probably didn't make any sense at all. But are your mum or dads like this? Or is it just me that has to live with this ****?
    18, adult, do what the hell you want.
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    I don't understand how people that are 18 years or older still listen to there parents when it comes to these sorts of things. (I'm 17 going on 18 for the record). Looking back to when I was 13 - 15 to now, I always figure the whole point of being a teenager was to establish my independence and my way of doing things.

    If you're not going make decisions for your self you might as well live with your mum for the rest of your days (basement nerd?). What's she going to do? Smack you? Don't make me laugh.

    Depending on your parents, they may or may not threaten to kick you out. If you're scared of being kicked out then you're still to immature to make decisions like going to a friends party. Listen to your parents.

    I'd call you mama's boy, but I figure you're a girl.

    Mama's girl!
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    Yep, mine are the same. Where I live, the last bus is at 11:30 so I kind of rely on them letting me use their car - which needless to say, they object to. They also won't let me buy my own car (which I would pay for) let me get a lift with or stay over with friends (whom they've known for 10 years) or take a taxi because it's too expensive.

    I don't behave irresponsibly, this is literally just them exerting their control over me. It's fine for me to go out to work and pay "rent" though.
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    My mum is like this as well. She never lets me go out, especially if it's in the evenings or if it means I'll miss dinner. It is very frustrating as I'm 22, have a job and had spent 5 years studying abroad. Since coming back home (August), I've been out only twice. On top of that, I have hardly any friends here, so I feel almost like a prisoner who is only allowed to go out for work.

    I've tried talking to her but I don't dare to make any big arguments out of this because she's bipolar and also a bit depressed. Once I was trying to convince her that she should let me take hip hop classes. The result was, I was not allowed to go and she had to take a bigger dose of sleeping pills that evening.

    Her reasons for not letting me go include, 'it's really dangerous at night', 'you need to get used to the new environment first', or 'you work all day mon-fri, so the rest of the time you have to spend at home with me', etc

    Sometimes I ask myself whether it's selfish of me to want to go out or to take dance classes as my mum herself is very lonely. Due to her health condition, she can't go to work and there're just 3 of us in the house, me, my mum and my brother. I just don't know what to do. I have a feeling I may become depressed myself if my life keeps going like this
 
 
 
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