Turn on thread page Beta

Bulimia :( Need Advice watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Basically I have bulimia and I thought I was getting over it but I'm starting college soon and all I can think about is being thin so I can dress beautifully and be popular and 'cool' as such. To aggravate matters my best friend is model thin and gorgeous and dresses like she could be some sort of rockstar/model/ lead in Skins ...
    I CAN beat my body into submission and be stick thin but it makes me MISERABLE as sin and unable to concentrate.

    What I need to know is where can I buy clothes that are more flattering to a curvier shape ? I'm not really talking anything bigger than a size eight, but I have quite a large chest and an ample bum ¬¬ And my body confidence fluctuates ridiculously , I go from loving my body to wanting to throw up if I look in the mirror.
    If you saw me you wouldn't think I was fat , I just FEEL monstrous.
    I need clothes to give me confidence and flatter.

    Please don't post anything ripping into me about my stupidity or vanity or whatever , It sounds trivial I know , but It's ruining my otherwise quite lovely life.

    Any ideas gratefully welcomed x
    • #2
    #2

    Gosh I know now you feel. I've never really seen anyone about my issues with food but I've never seen the need to. I thinks personally its best for you to see someone, I'm thinking of getting help if things dont get better completely. I just have this underlying fear of food, sometimes I'm ok with it, then I over indulge and then I look in the mirror (like yesterday) and just feel disgusted. Sometimes I even get panic attacks over food/eating out. Its not fun.
    Have you tried counselling? :hugs:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Gosh I know now you feel. I've never really seen anyone about my issues with food but I've never seen the need to. I thinks personally its best for you to see someone, I'm thinking of getting help if things dont get better completely. I just have this underlying fear of food, sometimes I'm ok with it, then I over indulge and then I look in the mirror (like yesterday) and just feel disgusted. Sometimes I even get panic attacks over food/eating out. Its not fun.
    Have you tried counselling? :hugs:
    I've had counselling and anti depressants . Neither worked
    I really think you should see someone though , it may be just what you need.
    I get horrible panic attacks and then I sob like some sort of crazy person , it's not cool ¬¬
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I know how you feel!!!

    Everyone tells me I'm slim, but I feel like a whale. If my friends knew I thought I was fat they'd probably be in shock

    But anyway, the best advice is probably to go see a doctor, they can refer you to counsellors, CBT therapists etc who will be more able to help you.

    Edit: Just saw your post above saying you've tried counsellors and meds. I now have no useful advice :sigh:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lazuliblue)
    Like the OP above, I know how you feel!!!

    Everyone tells me I'm slim, but I feel like a whale. If my friends knew I thought I was fat they'd probably be in shock

    But anyway, the best advice is probably to go see a doctor, they can refer you to counsellors, CBT therapists etc who will be more able to help you.

    Edit: Just saw your post above saying you've tried counsellors and meds. I now have no useful advice :sigh:
    It sucks doesn't it?
    I do NOT want to feel like this forever
    I'd love to have the time to do more exercise but I am always busy with school , coursework etc .
    I don't even think I'd be allowed to join a gym because I have an eating disorder . Gaaah. I hate this !
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    the fact is need you learn to accept your body so you will feel better in all clothes.

    your a size 8 which is a fine size. so accepting that will help you find nice clothes.

    i know you think councelling and meds dont work; i agree with the meds this because they are not a life time solution they can help until the coulcelling strats to work. however i deagree with the councelling. i had councelling on and off for 7 years and i alway use to say "this doesnt work" but i persisted with it and eventually it did (yea it took a long time but it was more than worth it). i believe 100% that councelling will work for you but it just depends what you want from it. it you want mor body confidance that a focus on body image and your size will be more benificial, if you whant help with getting over all your issues then specilised ED help is needed from a psychologist.

    either way if you want treatment to work you need to want it more than you want to be thin because unfortunatly it is one or the other.

    i can promise you though now that i am fully better; i never think im fat, i wear what i want and feel good, i never think about food (except when im hungry).

    this is tough and there is no over night solution but buy new clothes willl only help you for so long, if they even help at all.

    sorry your feeling this way
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ballerinabetty)
    the fact is need you learn to accept your body so you will feel better in all clothes.

    your a size 8 which is a fine size. so accepting that will help you find nice clothes.

    i know you think councelling and meds dont work; i agree with the meds this because they are not a life time solution they can help until the coulcelling strats to work. however i deagree with the councelling. i had councelling on and off for 7 years and i alway use to say "this doesnt work" but i persisted with it and eventually it did (yea it took a long time but it was more than worth it). i believe 100% that councelling will work for you but it just depends what you want from it. it you want mor body confidance that a focus on body image and your size will be more benificial, if you whant help with getting over all your issues then specilised ED help is needed from a psychologist.

    either way if you want treatment to work you need to want it more than you want to be thin because unfortunatly it is one or the other.

    i can promise you though now that i am fully better; i never think im fat, i wear what i want and feel good, i never think about food (except when im hungry).

    this is though and there is no over night solution but buy new clothes willl only help you for so long, if they even help at all.

    sorry your feeling this way
    Seven years is a long time.... But I guess it's worth it in the end.
    What sort of help did you have ? I've had CBT from a psychiatrist.

    I think that what I need is unlimited time and money to find the clothes that'll make me feel okay. Generally I feel okay in my underwear , I'm not embarrassed to show my body when 'getting down to it' lol , it's just clothes . The way they hang over my chest , the way they emphsise every lump and bump and disgusting expanse. yuck yuck YUCK.

    You said that I need to want to get better more than I want to be thin ? How is that possible , I can't imagine not caring . it's like a block in my head . And it's even worse cos I KNOW it's stupid , I know it is but my sensibilty is overriden by a stupid desire to look good all the time.
    Ithink it stems from being bullied for agessss .
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've had counselling and anti depressants . Neither worked
    I really think you should see someone though , it may be just what you need.
    I get horrible panic attacks and then I sob like some sort of crazy person , it's not cool ¬¬
    I'm not suprised that anti-depressants didn't work. I have nothing against medicine but they only really control physical symptoms, I think they need to be used in conjunction with something else to get to the root of the problem.

    I've been thinking about my problems a lot and a lot of my issues may have started at an early age but I just never thought about it until recently. I'm not in a life threatening way. I've got a healthy BMI of 20 but I hate my body most of the time, I just look ...odd. My flat mate and I were talking and she said that I obviously think that I'm bigger than I actually am, I just don't see what everyone else sees. Its just my relationship/mentality towards food which is now a problem ( I used to starve myself a lot but thats in the past....though sometimes I physically can't eat because it sparks off a panic attack).

    I'm not sure the doctor will take me seriously because I'm at a healthy weight, thats why I've been putting it off. But I do want to live a normal life where I can eat and not feel scared. I mean its only food.....
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not suprised that anti-depressants didn't work. I have nothing against medicine but they only really control physical symptoms, I think they need to be used in conjunction with something else to get to the root of the problem.

    I've been thinking about my problems a lot and a lot of my issues may have started at an early age but I just never thought about it until recently. I'm not in a life threatening way. I've got a healthy BMI of 20 but I hate my body most of the time, I just look ...odd. My flat mate and I were talking and she said that I obviously think that I'm bigger than I actually am, I just don't see what everyone else sees. Its just my relationship/mentality towards food which is now a problem ( I used to starve myself a lot but thats in the past....though sometimes I physically can't eat because it sparks off a panic attack).

    I'm not sure the doctor will take me seriously because I'm at a healthy weight, thats why I've been putting it off. But I do want to live a normal life where I can eat and not feel scared. I mean its only food.....
    When I first went to the doctor it was because my mom had caught me making myself sick ( it's actually quite a funny story , I'd only drank some blackcurrant squash so my sick was a lovely purple colour )
    Anyway , I wasn't at that stage at a dangerous BMI but I still got a referral , you should just go for it. My BMI has fluctuated from 17 to 21.5 , and at ALL of those points I've been ill . Eating disorders arent just about weight , it's the mindset yknow ?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically I have bulimia and I thought I was getting over it but I'm starting college soon and all I can think about is being thin so I can dress beautifully and be popular and 'cool' as such. To aggravate matters my best friend is model thin and gorgeous and dresses like she could be some sort of rockstar/model/ lead in Skins ...
    I CAN beat my body into submission and be stick thin but it makes me MISERABLE as sin and unable to concentrate.

    What I need to know is where can I buy clothes that are more flattering to a curvier shape ? I'm not really talking anything bigger than a size eight, but I have quite a large chest and an ample bum ¬¬ And my body confidence fluctuates ridiculously , I go from loving my body to wanting to throw up if I look in the mirror.
    If you saw me you wouldn't think I was fat , I just FEEL monstrous.
    I need clothes to give me confidence and flatter.

    Please don't post anything ripping into me about my stupidity or vanity or whatever , It sounds trivial I know , but It's ruining my otherwise quite lovely life.

    Any ideas gratefully welcomed x
    pls dont do it i used to be bulimic big time but it screws you over so bad as you probably already know
    the enamel off my teeth is pretty much non existent and im pretty sure my old ticker has seen better days
    try slimming world it REALLY works im telling you this because this is how i got myself out of the habbit , i told myself that it wouldnt really make a difference if i purged even though in my head it made sense - eat something then sick it out of your body so that its not there anymore.. but it doesnt work like that
    and besides, whats the point of being a good looking corpse? because that is what will happen in the end. I know you can do this, please tell someone close to you xxx
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seven years is a long time.... But I guess it's worth it in the end.
    What sort of help did you have ? I've had CBT from a psychiatrist.
    it was totally worth it, but to be honest i never really made any progress till the last year when i really dedicted myself to recovery.
    i had cbt in groups (which was good because you could really see how it effected other too and learn from them.), i also had body image classes (these were horribly emotional but did help), and i had one on one theraphy with a clinical psychologist.
    i was under a eating disorder team at my local hospital. i have had general councelling but being treat be specalists in the field was miles better. you GP will be abe to sort this out for you. on the nhs it usually takes about 8-12 week to be seen.


    You said that I need to want to get better more than I want to be thin ? How is that possible , I can't imagine not caring . it's like a block in my head . And it's even worse cos I KNOW it's stupid , I know it is but my sensibilty is overriden by a stupid desire to look good all the time.
    Ithink it stems from being bullied for agessss .
    this i understand, maybe you need a bit more time to decide what you want. it helpped me to think about what i wanted from my career and weather my bulima would fit in. i also had to be really strickt with myself and say "forget about your weight, let the doctors worry about that" (because they will monitor you and will not let you gain or loose a great amount) which was soo soo hard . honestly when i started recovery my body weight went up for a while and i hated it but it was because my body was not use to eating normal, after about 6 months my weight went back down naturally because it was use to me new routine and now i have gone two years recovered and i am thinner than i was when i was bulimic. so i had to put up with the extra wieght for a while but in the end i am thinner and eating well and able to do everything without worrying about if me and the bulimia could cope.

    i say give treatment another go an keep trying it till it works. it your you dont then really you are just allowing the bulimia to rule you.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I first went to the doctor it was because my mom had caught me making myself sick ( it's actually quite a funny story , I'd only drank some blackcurrant squash so my sick was a lovely purple colour )
    Anyway , I wasn't at that stage at a dangerous BMI but I still got a referral , you should just go for it. My BMI has fluctuated from 17 to 21.5 , and at ALL of those points I've been ill . Eating disorders arent just about weight , it's the mindset yknow ?
    truth!
    i was taken into hospital for my ED at a bmi of 22.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I first went to the doctor it was because my mom had caught me making myself sick ( it's actually quite a funny story , I'd only drank some blackcurrant squash so my sick was a lovely purple colour )
    Anyway , I wasn't at that stage at a dangerous BMI but I still got a referral , you should just go for it. My BMI has fluctuated from 17 to 21.5 , and at ALL of those points I've been ill . Eating disorders arent just about weight , it's the mindset yknow ?
    Ok I'll see how it goes next week. Kinda scary thinking about it like that. I've always know that something was wrong but its only since moving to Uni that it has reared its ugly head again. It doesn't help with my anxiety either. I'm just worried what others will think but I want to get better. I really do. I went through a similar stage of never ever eating enough but I got through it by myself. I was hoping that I would be able to get through it myself again but the underlying fears are still there. Thanks for the advice.

    Have you decided what you are going to do? :hugs:

    EDIT: LOL Anon FAIL on my part. Nevermind :laugh:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ok I'll see how it goes next week. Kinda scary thinking about it like that. I've always know that something was wrong but its only since moving to Uni that it has reared its ugly head again. It doesn't help with my anxiety either. I'm just worried what others will think but I want to get better. I really do. I went through a similar stage of never ever eating enough but I got through it by myself. I was hoping that I would be able to get through it myself again but the underlying fears are still there. Thanks for the advice.

    Have you decided what you are going to do? :hugs:

    EDIT: LOL Anon FAIL on my part. Nevermind :laugh:

    I almost anon failed xD

    I think what I'm going to do is try and control it myself for a little while longer. Try and stick to a healthy routine and if i feel fat I'll try and exercise instead of purging . I am terrified of getting heart problems etc.
    I reallllllllly don't want to talk about it with my mum or anyone cos Ive already put everone i know through so much insanity with my problems
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Oh gosh I know. I hate talking about it with my mum. I know it scares her. I want to stay strong for her. Its just that there has been so much going on upstairs for me recently. Its ironic how just when everything seems to be going great for me, the best its ever been, I just don't feel right. My problems just keep pilling up and it sounds like a bit of a joke when I think about it but they all connect with each other. Its about time I got selfish and did the right thing for my self which is to accept things and get some help. I'm just scared that it wont work. I don't want to ruin my relationship with people either. I've done really well at digusing things so far, if my friends found out I doubt they would believe me. Meh...

    I wish you the best of luck with it, there is nothing more gratifying than coming through something on your own but don't be affraid to get help if thats what you feel you need along the way. I'm sure your mum only wants what is best for you and no matter what she will support you :hugs:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Oh gosh I know. I hate talking about it with my mum. I know it scares her. I want to stay strong for her. Its just that there has been so much going on upstairs for me recently. Its ironic how just when everything seems to be going great for me, the best its ever been, I just don't feel right. My problems just keep pilling up and it sounds like a bit of a joke when I think about it but they all connect with each other. Its about time I got selfish and did the right thing for my self which is to accept things and get some help. I'm just scared that it wont work. I don't want to ruin my relationship with people either. I've done really well at digusing things so far, if my friends found out I doubt they would believe me. Meh...

    I wish you the best of luck with it, there is nothing more gratifying than coming through something on your own but don't be affraid to get help if thats what you feel you need along the way. I'm sure your mum only wants what is best for you and no matter what she will support you :hugs:
    Thanks :hugs: I appreciate the moral support.
    I'll do my best !
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i know exactly how you feel
    but in terms of dressing to flatter, i find dresses with a belted waistline make you look way thinner.
    and celebrate that large chest and go for things which make you curvacious but not fat; so stay away from a-line dresses and go for vnecks and round neck stuff. and i completely sympathize with the bum issue so try long cardigans and puff ball skirts, and things which fall over your body and dont look tight and unflattering.

    but tbh it sounds like a lot of your problems are because of self confidence issues and not because you're actually fat, so you can really pull off anything if you *see above* and follow all the other advice up there :yes:

    good luck with everything you'll get through it dw :console:
    • #3
    #3

    I have been bulimic for 2 and a half years now following 2 years of anorexia. I know I only feel slightly more ok now because I'm the lower side of healthy and have accepted my body because of this...but if i were any larger i know i'd hate it.

    HOWEVER i do sometimes feel so envious of women with boobs and bums who are still like a size 8. It's so attractive and desirable to men, more so than my figure is and other slim girls. I would gain some weight if i dared to be this because I so want it. I know you feel rubbish but I am envious of how you describe your figure and think you should flaunt it. Concentrate on being feminine and dress to flaunt it and gauge people's reactions to give you the esteem you need. I would rather be this than look like a little girl.

    Also, ,maybe try to stop comparing yourself to other people and your friend and focus on being you? There's only one of you so learn to love yourself because other people do. We aren't all supposed to look the same and people are attractive in different ways and shapes. Good luck!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Hey I would suggest shopping online?

    Google Websites like:
    Simplybe.co.uk
    Asos.com

    My friend shops online and wears clothes that fit her curvy figure. She looks so great and gets a lot of attention of guys.
    I think confidence is the key once you think you look fab.
    If you do decide to give into bulimia you will gain the weight back soon enough and that's going to make you feel awful.

    Shows like Skins glamorize everything, and your friend may be slim but that shouldn't stop you from feeling an individual.

    I can tell you want help, so please take the advice on board!!!

    Hope this helps xx
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been bulimic for 2 and a half years now following 2 years of anorexia. I know I only feel slightly more ok now because I'm the lower side of healthy and have accepted my body because of this...but if i were any larger i know i'd hate it.

    HOWEVER i do sometimes feel so envious of women with boobs and bums who are still like a size 8. It's so attractive and desirable to men, more so than my figure is and other slim girls. I would gain some weight if i dared to be this because I so want it. I know you feel rubbish but I am envious of how you describe your figure and think you should flaunt it. Concentrate on being feminine and dress to flaunt it and gauge people's reactions to give you the esteem you need. I would rather be this than look like a little girl.

    Also, ,maybe try to stop comparing yourself to other people and your friend and focus on being you? There's only one of you so learn to love yourself because other people do. We aren't all supposed to look the same and people are attractive in different ways and shapes. Good luck!
    My gosh I know, I wish I could be one of those girls who have naturally massive boobs and a slim figure. I can only have big boobs if I put on weight but I hate being bigger than I am now. I know its really selfish and whiney of me to envy other girls for their figures but I just feel so...what is the female equvilant for emasculation?...
    I just don't feel like a woman. Ok so my boobs aren't tiny but they aren't big either, and since loosing a lot of weight they just look pathetic. I know I should use what I have got but I just feel sick looking at myself a lot of the time.

    "All we've ever wanted is to look good naked hope that someone can take it. God save me rejection from my reflection, I want perfection."
    Well written Robbie Williams :yep:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 11, 2010
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.