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Getting fed up with uni watch

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    (Original post by Libtolu)
    No i wont be a mass murderer, i don't see any point in killing. however i also think that by the time you're old enough to go to uni you should have come to terms with the fact that people die.

    I know my mum is going to die and yes i will be sad but i highly doubt i will take any time off what im doing because to me death is unimportant, i'm independant i don't need my mum to look after me anymore she has given me the ability to survive and i love her for it, but i don't see any point in spending weeks(not days but weeks) in mourning because it serves no useful purpose.

    No matter how long you spend thinking about the dead they never come back, so you may as well say your farewells and get on with your life. The op could very well be jeopardising his/her future by skipping uni.
    Would the parent want them to fail uni? probably not, so the best thing to do is carry on, remember them but don't dwell on their deaths.
    Although you do speak sense, you could have worded it better instead of sounding like a heartless son of a *****.
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    Sorry to hear about your mum. I felt like I couldn't go on when nan died during my gcses. But gradually i came 2 terms with it and got ok results. Don't defer your course, just ask for a migating circumstances form for the exams and as for attending uni try your best and take it easy perhaps attend two or hours a week till you feel better.
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    OP please stop using this whole death as a justification to defer or slack of your work. The grieving process isn't real she will still be dead in a month or two or a year when you decide to commit to uni again and then you will feel stupid about the time you wasted
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, it does mean a lot I would love to take leave from uni but I simply can't afford to do rubbish on my essays So it's a no win situation really - I can't stay off because I'll worry about my work = panic attacks, yet I hate going because I get the attacks lol. Ugh. The email has just made me think I'll fail.

    I do have extenuating circumstances which hopefully they'll take into consideration at the end of the year but :\ Blah. I've missed so much and I'm really worrying now, especially about my presentations and exams. Blaaah.
    Having been in a similar situation I would say carry on with Uni, they sould give you speacial consideration at the end of the year, and although i don't know you I'm sure your Mum would've wanted you to carry on doing well in uni. I'm not saying don't be upset about it but I'm sure she'd want you to carry on and do the best you can with your life.
    Try not to worry about your work, the email has probably been sent automatically. Just do the best you can X
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    I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. I think the best thing you can do right now is to take the pressure off yourself and be gentle on yourself. As others have said, the email from your tutor could have been sent automatically, or it could be the result of a lack of communication. I'd be willing to bet that your tutor will have overlooked the email from your course leader or not bothered to make a note of it, things like that happen all the time. When I was at uni, due to a delay with my funding coming from the LEA (way back in the days when there were no tuition fees), one day I found a letter in my pigeon-hole saying I'd been banned from uni premises - and the letter had been lying there for weeks without me noticing or any of my tutors saying anything! That gives you an idea of how poor communication can be.

    So really, you shouldn't worry about that email. Contact your tutor, explain the situation and see what they say, then you can act accordingly. Of course it's understandable that you're anxious about it because of how you're feeling, but I dare say you'll find the situation is far less bad than you think. If you were getting firsts before this happened, I find it difficult to believe they'd throw you out that quickly, especially given the circumstances. But as I say, you should contact the person who sent you the email and wait to see what they say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, my mum died six weeks ago and I've found it difficult going back to university. I've spoken to my course leader and she's emailed all my tutors to tell them if I'm at uni that I probably won't be at my best, and if I'm not there then it's because I feel like I can't go in. She said everyone was fine with that and I needed to stop worrying about deadlines etc because I was getting panic attacks (doctors just prescribed me with anti depressents but don't really want to take them :\).

    Anyway, I've just logged in to uni email and my personal tutor has emailed me and a few other people saying hes concerned about our lack of attendence and if we don't go then we'll more than likely fail.

    This has stressed me out so much. He knows why I'm not there and now I'm panicking I'm going to fail. I just don't know what to do/say. Failing my first year would just make everything even worse but somedays I just cannot go in.

    What on earth do I email back?
    I cant imagine what you are going through, but try to do it for your mum. She would of wanted you to get a first and get a good job etc, so do it for her. Im sure she is looking down on you not wanting to just give up, but reach your full potential.
    These things in life unfortunatley happen but by failing isnt going to help anything, put all your anger into your work and you have done the best you can, and hopefully you will reap the rewards later.
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    (Original post by Libtolu)
    yea, im not good with senstive ****, but you need to work, just because your mum died isn't a good reason to spend weeks off uni.

    I know people who went to college and uni the day after their family(parents and grandparent) died.

    The world goes on and yeah get over it.
    Why would you say stupid **** like this?
    Just STFU.
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    (Original post by Libtolu)
    I have lost a parent and i did share an emotional bond with them, it wasn't pleasant but i still went to school.

    My point wasn't that death is inevitable but that ruining his education isn't a good idea. Mourning death is required but you can't let it get in the way of your life, op needs to get on with his life, no matter how painful it is, thinking about it wont solve anything and i personally didn't take weeks to get over it, i still remember it but i'm don't get distraught at the thought.
    Now that is a much better way of wording a response to what is a sensitive and delicate situation. :-)

    I see that for you it was easier to carry on. Some people need time. It is ok to allow someone a breather. The OP doesn't want it to effect their education and seem determined to try their very best. They just need help in getting there.
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    (Original post by Libtolu)
    No it isn't douche read my other post and stop being a mug, reply with something worth while and don't post part of my post , post all of it or none of it.
    You really are a moron. Clearly, the OP is profoundly attached to her mother. It's ever so cynical and ignorant of you imply 'your mother's death is not a reason to miss weeks of university'.
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    I'm sorry to hear about your mum, I hope you start to feel a bit better soonm
    People cope with grief differently. When my sister died my dad had his final year law llb exams. You might find going to uni will be able to distract you or that your mums death will give you the determination to succeed. I know it worked that way for my dad. In fact he did very well.
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    OP Don't listen to any of these ******* idiots that are saying ****. Seriously. They must be robots, void of emotion. I'm going through lots of similar stuff OP and I was terrible throughout my A Levels... and didn't do half aswell as I should've done. My mum tries to tell me that everyone who has passed away in my family recently would've wanted me to do really well, and would be upset if they thought it was them stopping me do well. So if I can't do it for myself at the moment, I do it for them. So I'm trying to do well at Uni, you go through some very low times, and the grief doesn't go away quickly, and no to the prick who said that OP will look back on the mourning and think how stupid he/she was for spending time doing it, how immature can you get. Thats the way I'm trying to think of it at the moment, oh, and don't worry about the email, as others have said, it was more than likely that the tutor was given a list of peoples low attendance and just went through the list copying and pasting the same message to everyone, and simply forgot about your circumstances. On monday, go see the tutor or ring them and enquire. In the meantime, spend time on you, make sure you are feeling as best as you can at the moment, my counsellor said to me that often people who are experiencing grief, completely forget about themselves and get in a tizz, if you concentrate on yourself it can help you deal with things better
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    I'm sorry to hear about what's happened to you, OP. I really do feel for you and I hope you manage to find some strength in all this. If you don't want to take anti-depressants, don't. I admire that. I think if I was feeling low I wouldn't either, I don't like the idea of drugs messing with my mind (Bear in mind, I am not in the slightest qualified to say anything like this and the GP that prescribed them to you knows a hell of a lot more than I do on the subject, but it's my two cents). Anyway, deviation over, I'd think about what your Mum would want. I can't imagine how tough it is to lose her, but I would imagine she'd want you to keep going. It's desperately sad but I do hope you manage to pull through. PM me if you're ever feeling down during this testing period.
 
 
 
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