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Relationship Crisis! Help!
I don’t know what is going on with my BF. We have been together for 2 years, but now we have some kind of a relationship crisis, and it is really hard to cope with it, especially when I love him a lot and don’t want to lose him. The point is that he lives in UK and I for now live in Russia and in 2weeks I am moving to Sweden to study. He tells me that he loves me but his behavior tells the opposite, he doesn’t want me to make UK visa to visit him when I want (he tells, he doesn’t want me to spend my money, what a ********, huh?) then, when I am asking him to go online on icq he ALL THE TIME finds excuses not to do it (either he has a headache, or his eyes hurts a lot, or he is just tired and don’t want, or there are too many ppl on his list want to chat with him and he doesn’t etc) then he tells me that he prefers to talk over the phone, but when we talk it is just like a minute talk, an official one (like “hey, how ru? Fine? All right then”) he tells that he hates icq and prefers to spend lots of money on the phone, but when he calls me and I try to have a normal conversation he tells that he cant talk much coz he doesn’t have this money (the question for me then? Why then we cant use free icq???) then when I call him, he asks me not to spend my money. But the worse thing is that when we started to date we met 6 times for just 8 month, for last 9 month we met just twice and other 3 he skipped. 1st time, he didn’t have money for the tickets to come (though he bough iMac for 300 pounds, pretty enough for tickets) 2nd time, he had problems with job, and now (he promised to come to me just when I am in Sweden around 8th August) he told me that he can’t, coz his brother decided to come to him for 4 weeks in August from Italy. (I thought that his brother is 23 and pretty grown up man to spend 5-7 days alone in UK). So, his last phrase was – ‘I don’t know when we meet’ After what I started just to cry, I felt (and feel) so weak, and feel myself like a pusher, always organizing our meets and stuff, like if I were the one person who is interested in this relationships. He tells me that he loves me a lot, and I am the only one for him, but we can say many sweet things and do nth…right? And love it is not just words…especially, when you have distant relationships… He tells I am creating problems and just cant be happy with life. But how can u be happy with life, when the person u love, shows with all his behavior he doesn’t care about u, like he used to. Or am I really just creating problems?
p.s. I know it must be too complicated to read this rubbish, I am just not myself probably now..and probably desperate if I am writing it here. But my question is what should I do know with a person who shows with his behavior that he doesn’t care about me, but with his words he tells me that I am the only one?
thx for all ur answers.
p.s. I know it must be too complicated to read this rubbish, I am just not myself probably now..and probably desperate if I am writing it here. But my question is what should I do know with a person who shows with his behavior that he doesn’t care about me, but with his words he tells me that I am the only one?
thx for all ur answers.
He sounds like a waste of your time 
Seems like he keeps making excuses - dump him, and find someone who thinks you're worth the effort of meeting up with (which it seems like you are 
)
Seems like he keeps making excuses - dump him, and find someone who thinks you're worth the effort of meeting up with (which it seems like you are )yeah, I am sorry for writeing such a mess, just dont know how to write better, it is an emotional thingy, and it is always hard to explain emotions I guess. Anyway, thx a lot who read this stuff.
Aww 
Words are nothing if they're not backed up by actions. I can say I can fly to the moon and back and it wouldn't be true. Tell him how you feel - if he really cares for you he should change the way he's behaving towards you. It makes no sense that he's skipping communicating and meeting up with you.
Talk to him, see what he says. Tell him that whatever he takes it as, this is how you feel and he should understand this instead of telling you you're creating problems. If he doesn't change, dump him.
All the best
Words are nothing if they're not backed up by actions. I can say I can fly to the moon and back and it wouldn't be true. Tell him how you feel - if he really cares for you he should change the way he's behaving towards you. It makes no sense that he's skipping communicating and meeting up with you.
Talk to him, see what he says. Tell him that whatever he takes it as, this is how you feel and he should understand this instead of telling you you're creating problems. If he doesn't change, dump him.
All the best
Have you spoken to him about the way you think he isn't treating you like he loves you? If he is aware of this, then maybe he will be able to change his behaviour.
To be honest, this person comes across as not worth the trouble. Distant relationships are always hard, and most of the time they don't last...
There are plenty of people near you that you can get to know and why waste your time on somebody who lives so far away who can't even treat you like he loves you?
My suggestion is to find somebody better than him. He obviously does not seem to care enough to show his "love" for you.
To be honest, this person comes across as not worth the trouble. Distant relationships are always hard, and most of the time they don't last...
There are plenty of people near you that you can get to know and why waste your time on somebody who lives so far away who can't even treat you like he loves you?
My suggestion is to find somebody better than him. He obviously does not seem to care enough to show his "love" for you.
Jez, thx for this good advice. I will just copy and email to him what u wrote here, may be it will make him understand smth, coz I am actually tired to explain smth. He can always find some "smart words" to say, so i feel myself as a stupid girl. and he doesnt have a clue what is happening inside me
thx thx thx
thx thx thx
irisng
Aww
Words are nothing if they're not backed up by actions. I can say I can fly to the moon and back and it wouldn't be true. Tell him how you feel - if he really cares for you he should change the way he's behaving towards you. It makes no sense that he's skipping communicating and meeting up with you.
Talk to him, see what he says. Tell him that whatever he takes it as, this is how you feel and he should understand this instead of telling you you're creating problems. If he doesn't change, dump him.
All the best
Words are nothing if they're not backed up by actions. I can say I can fly to the moon and back and it wouldn't be true. Tell him how you feel - if he really cares for you he should change the way he's behaving towards you. It makes no sense that he's skipping communicating and meeting up with you.
Talk to him, see what he says. Tell him that whatever he takes it as, this is how you feel and he should understand this instead of telling you you're creating problems. If he doesn't change, dump him.
All the best
yeah i think random one has a point.. if you rarely see him in addition to his unwillingness to communicate in other ways it seems there's no point in being in a long distance relationship with him. it sounds like it would be better if the two of you still kept in contact as friends. sorry but it sounds better an option
Random one
Have you spoken to him about the way you think he isn't treating you like he loves you? If he is aware of this, then maybe he will be able to change his behaviour.
To be honest, this person comes across as not worth the trouble. Distant relationships are always hard, and most of the time they don't last...
There are plenty of people near you that you can get to know and why waste your time on somebody who lives so far away who can't even treat you like he loves you?
My suggestion is to find somebody better than him. He obviously does not seem to care enough to show his "love" for you.
To be honest, this person comes across as not worth the trouble. Distant relationships are always hard, and most of the time they don't last...
There are plenty of people near you that you can get to know and why waste your time on somebody who lives so far away who can't even treat you like he loves you?
My suggestion is to find somebody better than him. He obviously does not seem to care enough to show his "love" for you.
Yeah! I talked to him many times and I told eveth I dont like, he told I am creating problems, and he loves me a lot, and for evrth he had an ecxuse...
I know distant relationship are hard but we are together like this 2 years and we have been engaged. btw here is his site www.venturelli.org I have 3 years left of studying and now I guess, Iwon't stand it like this
...
I'm kind of in a slightly similar situation except the distance between me and my problem boy isn't so much!
I have been going out with him for 1y3m and feel as though I am always the one making arrangements to meet etc just like how you said you felt.
It is difficult not to do that though and I started making excuses for him as to why he wasn't displaying his love for me so much.
We've just split up over this and other issues but are remaining friends and so I'm trying really hard to adopt the attitude of letting him contact me if he wants,because if he wants to speak to me or see me badly enough then he will and that's what he has to do to be with me because why should I accept anything less? Like I said though it is hard to do and by not ringing him I feel as though I'm punishing myself sometimes. But it's true that actions speak louder than words and I don't think you should let him know that you're waiting to see if he makes an effort to contact you/see you, but just do it and keep it to yourself, see what he does and then you'll know how he really feels. It's a really hard thing to do so I wish you good luck!
I have been going out with him for 1y3m and feel as though I am always the one making arrangements to meet etc just like how you said you felt.
It is difficult not to do that though and I started making excuses for him as to why he wasn't displaying his love for me so much.
We've just split up over this and other issues but are remaining friends and so I'm trying really hard to adopt the attitude of letting him contact me if he wants,because if he wants to speak to me or see me badly enough then he will and that's what he has to do to be with me because why should I accept anything less? Like I said though it is hard to do and by not ringing him I feel as though I'm punishing myself sometimes. But it's true that actions speak louder than words and I don't think you should let him know that you're waiting to see if he makes an effort to contact you/see you, but just do it and keep it to yourself, see what he does and then you'll know how he really feels. It's a really hard thing to do so I wish you good luck!
Talk honestly to him, why is he always making excuses? I know even after a long time together being totally honest about it all can be hard but you need to do it for your own peace of mind.
Don't let him mess you about, talk to him frankly on the phone/ICQ, whatever you can get him to do, and try and resolve it completely openly. Maybe write him a letter and explain it..it's practically free and it might give him something to think about.
Don't let him mess you about, talk to him frankly on the phone/ICQ, whatever you can get him to do, and try and resolve it completely openly. Maybe write him a letter and explain it..it's practically free and it might give him something to think about.
If he is making you feel like that then he is really not worth it. He is wasting your time, effort and money. Anyone who could treat you like that obviously does not love you, he can say it until he is blue in face but it won't make the meaning come true. Get out while you can with your heart still in tact.
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