Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Parents just told me I'm fat then HAD A GO AT ME for getting upset. watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Just don't take it to heart, parents can be weird a lot of the time. And you're not even overwieght a BMI of 22 is normal weight.

    I get told im fat pretty much everyday, and not just from my parents but from my nan and my brothers, and they are all hypocrites because they are all bigger than me but I ignore them when they start ranting.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Your considered to be of normal weight!??
    I don't understand why any parent would upset their child like that... are you sure there your biological parents??
    I feel for you, I mean if you weighed something like 17 stones i would understand where your mum and dad are coming from but you weight about 10...
    I couldn't see myself having a relationship with people like your parents. Just focus on school and when the tiem for university comes, get out of there!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Paul Bartram)
    Try excercising - get your parents involved in what you do. Get them to join the gym with you or something.
    but shes considered to be normal weight for her height...
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    your BMI isn't even on the high side oh healthy its dead in the middle. Just ignore your insensitive and clearly rude parents. You'll be able to ditch them when you head off to uni
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Being related doesn't excuse such blatant rudeness. Your parents were objectively horrible to you, even if one didn't take into account the fact that this a particularly sensitive issue for you. I'm sure there have been a fair few cases of eating disorders that were sparked off by such thoughtless comments. You should calmly explain to your parents that their words were purposefully hurtful, demeaning, unconstructive and disrespectful. Besides your weight is perfectly healthy - if you want to lose a couple of pounds to look more toned, then that's your choice and none of their business.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by letia)
    how old are you?

    your parents are harsh - leave home

    19 :shifty:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe they think its looking after you by telling you??
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    The same happens to me... they don't realise that weight is a sensitive issue with me, and I'd rather not be told 24/7 that I'm fat. It's stupid because they're the ones that bring in the unhealthy food, and then when I eat it, OMG I'M FAT. If I didn't, it'd be like, "you're wasting the food." Just ignore them. I do think those who are saying your parents are extremely nasty have lost sight a little bit - there are far worse people out there, and in the end they only want the best for you but are possibly going the wrong way about it.

    On another note, I always find it weird when people vent stuff like this on TSR and stuff, especially when it's trivial like this.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Gutted.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    The same happens to me... they don't realise that weight is a sensitive issue with me, and I'd rather not be told 24/7 that I'm fat. It's stupid because they're the ones that bring in the unhealthy food, and then when I eat it, OMG I'M FAT. If I didn't, it'd be like, "you're wasting the food." Just ignore them. I do think those who are saying your parents are extremely nasty have lost sight a little bit - there are far worse people out there, and in the end they only want the best for you but are possibly going the wrong way about it.

    On another note, I always find it weird when people vent stuff like this on TSR and stuff, especially when it's trivial like this.
    You don't have to eat it you fat pleb. Get some wheel power.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    OP - if it makes you any happier, there are guys who take chubby girls over thin ones anytime. I'm one of them.

    If you want to lose weight - fine, but please do it for yourself, not to pleasure others, as then there's absolutely no point in doing this. And don't let anyone get in your way, regardless of what your decision will be. :yep:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Ignore them.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    While they might sound horrible, they're your parents and what they say is only to help you. Ask yourself, are they trying to insult you? Probably not. Then why are they telling you that you should lose weight.

    My parents have told me that I've been getting lazy and have developed a bit of a paunch recently, and I totally agree. It's for my own benefit that they tell me I need to exercise. With school work and whatnot I've lost out on some activity and need get healthy again.

    Sure, being told you're fat isn't nice, but when it's coming from your parent's it isn't an insult. Suck it up and listen to what they're saying, as harshly and rudely as it's being said. You yourself said that you need to do exercise, so what they are saying seems fairly valid.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Google tells me you are in the "healthy" weight range.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    The same happens to me... they don't realise that weight is a sensitive issue with me, and I'd rather not be told 24/7 that I'm fat. It's stupid because they're the ones that bring in the unhealthy food, and then when I eat it, OMG I'M FAT. If I didn't, it'd be like, "you're wasting the food." Just ignore them. I do think those who are saying your parents are extremely nasty have lost sight a little bit - there are far worse people out there, and in the end they only want the best for you but are possibly going the wrong way about it.

    On another note, I always find it weird when people vent stuff like this on TSR and stuff, especially when it's trivial like this.

    I'd much rather they'd never said anything at all, I'm just so embarrassed and hurt. I just feel like they're going to be scrutinising me now whenever I'm sat with them, or eating. I't's a horrible thing to hear, and it's not going to just go away now, I'd hate for anyone to discuss it or bring it up again. Maybe I'm insecure, maybe I'm sensitive, probably both.

    I made the thread because I was just amazed that my parents lost THEIR temper at ME for reacting the way I did (saying one line, then walking out in tears, hardly rude or anything, I wouldnt dare). It made me think there was something wrong with me - did I get so upset because I have self esteem, insecurity, sensitivity problems? Or is it genuinely something upsetting that other people here empathise with? Am I to blame or them? That's why I made this thread. And I wont deny most of the comments have made me feel better. :dontknow:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Here's an idea:

    Say you're going to start some exercise, but you'll need some help from your parents such as moral support or money for the exercise. If they decline it, it clearly shows that they're the ones in the wrong and not you. That's because they're being hypocritical by saying you should do something but they're not willing to provide support so that you can.

    I can't imagine how I'd react in a situation like that, but I'd just try and use logical argument to tear their arguments apart by showing how flawed their arguments are.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do you look fat? this thread is useless without pictures
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    ^^That's not to say I'm not going to try to lose weight - I have eyes, I can see I've gained weight and I want to lose it. Perhaps because of the way they treat me, and the way they said it, I don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they made me do it. Sounds childish, but they make me feel like I'd be nowhere without them, and owe the world to them, that all I've ever acheived has been down to them (which it isnt).
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please.

    I just went down to breakfast, and I put the first bite into my mouth, and my mum goes:

    'Did you eat two cupcakes before you went to bed last night?' (she'd baked a batch and counted how many there were)

    I was like 'er yes...'

    Then she goes 'You've gotton fat, you really shouldnt eat like that.'
    Silence. My dad just looks at me nonplussed, then my lovely little sister stares incredulously at them and pipes up 'Thats not very nice!'

    Immediately my dad goes 'WHY? Why isn't it very nice, don't be like those stupid people who get offended, there's nothing wrong with saying it'

    My mum, knowing I'm getting upset, just carries on, going, you've gotton larger, you just eat and you're lazy etc etc. and then MAKING EXCUSES for herself while she says it, saying she's not to blame or anything, she's only being truthful.

    So anyway then my parents launch into a 'we're allowed to insult you bcause we're your parents' mantra, and my dad doesnt see any problem either, and says, 'its the same as us telling you to work hard at school, or stop biting your nails.'

    I havent said anything yet, I'm just staring at them and then I'm like, 'NO it's not the bloody same at all, and on top of that, my size is none of your business'

    Then my dad gets really angry and says 'I'LL tell you whether it's the same or not, don't you tell me otherwise'

    So the tears erupt and I storm upstairs Thig is, they know I'm really sensitive about this issue, and in truth, I've been making an effort to lose weight quietly for some time, it's something I've wanted to do for myself for ages. I just really hate anyone else getting involved, and the slightest comment really gets to me. I already have really crap self esteem. Plus, a couple of years back, I went through a phase of eating NOTHING, literally, and they know it, and lost a dangerous amount of weight. They know it's a bit of a problem with me, but that doesnt seem to matter. I really hate being exposed emotionally.

    Did I overreact? Do they have the right to say these things, and then defend themselves, with aggression?

    I can hear my mum now screaming about how I'm ungrateful, selfish and stroppy and a 'cow' who has no right to be upset. It just doesn't phase her, and she always makes herself into the victim after she says something hurtful, because, o gosh, I got upset and stormed out, the nerve of me!

    ***Btw I'm 5'7'', and 65kg, used to be 60, 55 at lowest a few years back. That gives me a bmi of 22.

    Thoughts? Comfort? Derision at me?
    Quoted for self-delusion.

    Stop being so fat.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please.

    I just went down to breakfast, and I put the first bite into my mouth, and my mum goes:

    'Did you eat two cupcakes before you wet to bed last night?' (she'd baked a batch and counted how many there were)

    I was like 'er yes...'

    Then she goes 'You've gotton fat, you really shouldnt eat like that.'
    Silence. My dad just looks at me nonplussed, then my lovely little sister stares incredulously at them and pipes up 'Thats not very nice!'

    Immediately my dad goes 'WHY? Why isn't it very nice, don't be like those stupid people who get offended, there's nothing wrong with saying it'

    My mum, knowing I'm getting upset, just carries on, going, you've gotton larger, you just eat and you're lazy etc etc. and then MAKING EXCUSES for herself while she says it, saying she's not to blame or anything, she's only being truthful.

    So anyway then my parents launch into a 'we're allowed to insult you bcause we're your parents' mantra, and my dad doesnt see any problem either, and says, 'its the same as us telling you to work hard at school, or stop biting your nails.'

    I havent said anything yet, I'm just staring at them and then I'm like, 'NO it's not the bloody same at all, and on top of that, my size is none of your business'

    Then my dad gets really angry and says 'I'LL tell you whether it's the same or not, don't you tell me otherwise'

    So the tears erupt and I storm upstairs Thig is, they know I'm really sensitive about this issue, and in truth, I've been making an effort to lose weight quietly for some time, it's something I've wanted to do for myself for ages. I just really hate anyone else getting involved, and the slightest comment really gets to me. I already have really crap self esteem. Plus, a couple of years back, I went through a phase of eating NOTHING, literally, and they know it, and lost a dangerous amount of weight. They know it's a bit of a problem with me, but that doesnt seem to matter. I really hate being exposed emotionally.

    Did I overreact? Do they have the right to say these things, and then defend themselves, with aggression?

    I can hear my mum now screaming about how I'm ungrateful, selfish and stroppy and a 'cow' who has no right to be upset. It just doesn't phase her, and she always makes herself into the victim after she says something hurtful, because, o gosh, I got upset and stormed out, the nerve of me!

    ***Btw I'm 5'7'', and 65kg, used to be 60, 55 at lowest a few years back. That gives me a bmi of 22.

    Thoughts? Comfort? Derision at me?
    Wtf, this **** causes anorexia. Your parents sound like psychopaths :indiff:
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 2, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.