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Parents just told me I'm fat then HAD A GO AT ME for getting upset. Watch

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    (Original post by OL1V3R)
    Here's an idea:

    Say you're going to start some exercise, but you'll need some help from your parents such as moral support or money for the exercise. If they decline it, it clearly shows that they're the ones in the wrong and not you. That's because they're being hypocritical by saying you should do something but they're not willing to provide support so that you can.

    I can't imagine how I'd react in a situation like that, but I'd just try and use logical argument to tear their arguments apart by showing how flawed their arguments are.
    They'd tell me to go run in the park. We've just moved so I don't know the area, but where I used to live, I went running a couple of times a week on a country lane. They think gym's are a waste of mone, no-one from my family's ever had a membership, and we're pretty strained finanicially at the mo anyway.

    What would be your logical argument? Tbh I'm usually argumentative, but when it's something like this that really hits home, I just wanted them to shut up and erase what they said, and leave the room.
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    tbh I agree with your parents, if I was putting on weight I would hope my family would tell me and it is the same as as saying you're grades are slipping, you need to work harder in school or your rooms a mess, clean it up.

    Maybe they should have put it in a nicer way but she was probably pissed off you ate two of her cupcakes.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    Insulting your child for being fat (when a BMI of 22 would suggest she's not) would be like calling your daughter a dirty whore just because she had sex for the first time. Social stigma is far from irrelevant- it alters your perception of issues completely. Especially considering the vast majority of teenage girls today have SERIOUS issues over their weight- such an insult is just a self-esteem killer. There may be genuine concern (though I can't see why there should be), but going about trying to rectify it in such a destructive and callous way is just nothing short of crap parenting. Your analogy is also wrong because compelling your child to do well at school is different to yelling at them for being stupid.

    This sums it up perfectly, thankyou.
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    Your not fat
    Your life/health is in your hands
    They are probably worried but it is not the right way to show it
    I was in the same position as you were, but then i found this book it's called "don't lose your mind lose your weight" by rujuta diwekar, she is an indian women and its her diet book, it is so inspirational and motivating, i read it and it acutally changed my eating habits and my diet, in january i have already lost 7ibs. It's based on a bollywood actress who was chubby but then she consulted rujuta and she went to a size zero, and no she isn't anorexic or anything.
    I think you should try to find this book, i bought it off amazon for £5.
    Good luck and read the book, it is amazing
    xx
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    (Original post by FyreFight)
    Quoted for self-delusion.

    Stop being so fat.

    What?
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    That's so harsh!

    Btw you're not fat
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    (Original post by kamc)
    tbh I agree with your parents, if I was putting on weight I would hope my family would tell me and it is the same as as saying you're grades are slipping, you need to work harder in school or your rooms a mess, clean it up.

    Maybe they should have put it in a nicer way but she was probably pissed off you ate two of her cupcakes.

    Except she doesnt eat the damn things. Of course not, then she might get fat! She bakes a lot, but hardly ever even eats it. She's always been a stay-at-home mum, so it might be a hobby or something.

    Also, why would you want your family to tell you you've put on weight? It doesnt take much to notice it yourself, especially if you're a girl, nor will it make a positive difference. The only thing it does is bruise your self esteem.
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    Why is it offensive to call somebody fat, but not to call somebody skinny?

    I've got my dad nagging me 24/7/365 about the exact opposite to being fat.
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    They just sound like nasty parents. I have relatives like that, my grannies ALWAYS comment on my weight. If I've gained a few pounds they're like "What did you do that you're so fat?!" and if I lose a few they're like "You're sooo skinny, too skinny, here, eat some biscuits." My mum's started acting like that as well.

    And then when I act insulted (which I am) it never helps or changes things. Some people just think that if they're a relative they're ALLOWED to comment a perfectly healthy weight, although a maybe a bit over/underweight. Some people just don't understand that they can be hurtful.

    If I were you I'd buy some of my own (healthish) food and eat it in my room and/or eat out, then they'd think you're anorexic and they'd get some of their own medicine.

    And why is she baking cupcakes if she doesn't want you to eat them? Two cupcakes aren't that much, it's not like you ate all of them!
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    Pics or didn't happen
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What would be your logical argument? Tbh I'm usually argumentative, but when it's something like this that really hits home, I just wanted them to shut up and erase what they said, and leave the room.
    Not sure if it would work, but I'd just use the BMI as a reason to say you're not fat because 22 is not unhealthy. Then I'd say that the experts who came up with that must know what they're talking about so it must be correct. I'm not too sure myself on what logical arguments would be good, but you could just say something like "Okay, so you're saying I'm fat and it's my fault that I'm getting upset. What is your reasoning behind that?" or "Why do you feel it is appropriate to adress me in that manner?" That way it doesn't sound as if you're explicitly disagreeing with them so they might not necessarily tell you off for that. If they still carry on, just say "If you've got no reasoning, I won't believe you."

    Or you could just say to your mum/dad, "I find the agressive way you speak to me very inappropriate", or if they're just being horrible, say to them "There was no need for that!".

    Perhaps I'm not the best at dealing with these situations either, and I can be really sensitive quite a bit of the time, but I hope that helps.
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    that's a horrible situation to be in. and according to your BMI you're not even overweight!

    tell your parents to stop worrying and that you're old enough to take responsibility over what you eat, they have no right to treat you like that.
    • #7
    #7

    What cruel parents you have.

    This happened to me when I was 18. I'd gained a few pounds (7 perhaps) but was by no means fat. My parents would tell me I was huge and should cut back on the junk. A single biscuit would set them off.

    Seven years later and I still make myself sick on occasions. :rolleyes: Please try to ignore them, although I know how hard this is.
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    (Original post by Maximum Velocity)
    You don't have to eat it you fat pleb. Get some wheel power.
    LOL. I know that, but it's still stupid nonetheless - especially when they get annoyed and say I'm wasting it. Doesn't make someone a fat pleb. Also, "wheel power"?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd much rather they'd never said anything at all, I'm just so embarrassed and hurt. I just feel like they're going to be scrutinising me now whenever I'm sat with them, or eating. I't's a horrible thing to hear, and it's not going to just go away now, I'd hate for anyone to discuss it or bring it up again. Maybe I'm insecure, maybe I'm sensitive, probably both.

    I made the thread because I was just amazed that my parents lost THEIR temper at ME for reacting the way I did (saying one line, then walking out in tears, hardly rude or anything, I wouldnt dare). It made me think there was something wrong with me - did I get so upset because I have self esteem, insecurity, sensitivity problems? Or is it genuinely something upsetting that other people here empathise with? Am I to blame or them? That's why I made this thread. And I wont deny most of the comments have made me feel better. :dontknow:
    Ah OK, well at least you're getting something out of it I guess.
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    I think you should just be ridiculously condescending to them if they mention it again.

    "I'm ever so sorry father, you're right, it's not my decision if it's the same or not. Gosh, I've been so silly."

    I find my parents hate that. Then when they mention how you're acting just become more and more patronising.

    "Honestly mother, father, I've seen the error of my ways. You are always right. I might well go out for a jolly jog tonight. Care to join me?"

    If you've worked in retail you'll have had plenty of experience.
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    So you're like 10 stone!? HOW ARE YOU FAT!?

    I'm 5'8" and go between 55 and 60kgs which is 8.5 - 9.5 stone whenever my body feels like it... you're not fat tell them to do one! You must be like, a dress size 10?

    I can't get over how completely not fat you are! You're not in the wrong, just make them feel REALLY REALLY bad all the time, you're dad doesn't have a clue he's just sticking up for your mother (same story with everybody) and your mum seems to be playing on the fact that you were upset...which I'm pretty sure my mum does to...and thus, probably everybody's parents?

    So yeah make them feel ****.
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    (Original post by lattywatty)
    I think you should just be ridiculously condescending to them if they mention it again.

    "I'm ever so sorry father, you're right, it's not my decision if it's the same or not. Gosh, I've been so silly."

    I find my parents hate that. Then when they mention how you're acting just become more and more patronising.

    "Honestly mother, father, I've seen the error of my ways. You are always right. I might well go out for a jolly jog tonight. Care to join me?"

    If you've worked in retail you'll have had plenty of experience.

    You're my hero
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    Lol
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    I love the Daily Mail-esq thread title
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    Just be like:
    WHERE DO YOU THINK I GOT THE FAT GENE FROM MUM?!
    *Look pointedly at (insert fat body part here, eg stomach)
 
 
 
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