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Boyfriend 'deciding whether to dump me' because of my stripper past watch

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    (Original post by HDS)
    You're joking right?

    It's not about a first date, besides which she's already told him she worked in a strip club, why not the whole truth?

    Why should he and his family have to settle for a girl who worked in the adult industry if they don't want to. To work in the adult industry you need a certain set of morals and beliefs.

    A militant atheist wouldn't get with an evangelical christian, so why is this any different?http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif

    So people can't change their morals and beliefs throughout their lives?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been going out with this guy for a couple months now, and although he knew most things about me right from the start, I with-held certain information about my past, ie. stripper.

    I kind of explained what I did, e.g. lingerie waitressing at a strip club, which is the truth, but I just didn't tell him it led to stripping. It's not the type of thing I'm comfortable with revealing to everyone, lol, I work in a law firm as a receptionist now part-time while fnishing my degree.

    Anyway so I confessed to him yesterday, because my conscience got the better of me and now he won't talk to me. He says he needs a week to think about whether he should dump me or not, as I'm 'no longer good enough' for him and his family, yet he 'still likes' me. :rolleyes:

    I'm quite annoyed tbh, because I have otherwise been a very loyal and thoughtful girlfriend to him, even cancelling work a couple of times to help him move house. I'm not sure what to think now.
    Tell him to man up and be grateful he's got a hot stripper for a GF...

    Oh and pikz or it dint happen
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    (Original post by HDS)
    It's not about a first date, besides which she's already told him she worked in a strip club, why not the whole truth?
    Because he didn't probe me further at the time. Which I do appreciate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I kind of explained what I did, e.g. lingerie waitressing at a strip club, which is the truth, but I just didn't tell him it led to stripping. It's not the type of thing I'm comfortable with revealing to everyone, lol, I work in a law firm as a receptionist now part-time while fnishing my degree.
    I lol'd
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    (Original post by thisisyesterday)
    So people can't change their morals and beliefs throughout their lives?
    Thanks thisisyesterday, this is such a lovely and understanding post you made here xox
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    (Original post by Muffinz)
    I lol'd
    Haha, in the club where I'm acting as SOMEONE ELSE! Bit different from your new life where you're trying to get ahead the academic and professional way.

    That was a very funny post tho, and I did lol
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    just give him some time, explain to him how you feel and your reasons etc.

    if he still doesn't want you....dump that mofo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I never lie to him or anyone! I just with-held *that* bit of information. The rest was the truth, e.g. what I did before that, where I worked etc. I didn't say 'I didn't do stripping'.
    oh come on, that's such a cop out.
    you should have told him the truth and you know it so don't make excuses for yourself - it's fair enough that you wouldn't tell him straight away, but once you were properly dating you should have let him know. It's not fair on him and you can't be mad that he wants time to think
    saying you're not good enough for him must be pretty annoying as you don't want to be treated as inferior, but if he does break up with you its understandable
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He says he needs a week to think about whether he should dump me or not, as I'm 'no longer good enough' for him and his family, yet he 'still likes' me. :rolleyes:
    Some men are terribly insecure. He'd probably prefer it if you were a virgin.

    Personally, I would save him the trouble of pondering if you can be worthy enough and say goodbye.

    I would also wonder what is hidden beneath his and his family's floorboards.

    I recently had to listen to someone say that the reason people don't come out about things like this is that they are ashamed of it. Crap. It's because they're worried about reactions like this one.
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    (Original post by unprinted)
    Some men are terribly insecure. He'd probably prefer it if you were a virgin.

    Personally, I would save him the trouble of pondering if you can be worthy enough and say goodbye.

    I would also wonder what is hidden beneath his and his family's floorboards.

    I recently had to listen to someone say that the reason people don't come out about things like this is that they are ashamed of it. Crap. It's because they're worried about reactions like this one.
    whats being a virgin got to do with it? she was a stripper not a prostitute
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    Not good enough for him and his family?

    What is this, a meat market? :indiff:
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    Give him some time :yep:
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    i would be happy to date a stripper ex or present, dance for him if that doesn't change his mind. either hes getting ready to come out the closet or is just a ******* weirdo.
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    (Original post by HDS)

    You can change. Read the time frame though.

    She's been dating him for several months, she quit stripping somewhat (presumably little due to the way she says it) over 6 months ago.


    I'm sorry I personally have no sympathy for her, you go into the adult industry knowing what to expect in the future(from experience), if you're not prepared to deal with that you shouldn't be there.

    If she cares about him alot she needs to give him time to sort out his emotions. He obviously cares enough about her to not dump her directly and is spending time thinking about it.

    If she doesn't then she may as well leave because no matter what happens this incident will play on her mind for the rest of their forseeable future and it will be brought up in arguments and just be poisonous.

    The point is is that she quit, which to me demonstrates that she had a change of heart about stripping, thereby demonstrating a change in her morals and beliefs at that time. What you're suggesting is that we make decisions to do something but it takes a period of time for the change in our morals to catch up with that? How does that make any sense?

    The fact is is that we know nothing the background here. She may have felt pressured into stripping, she may have been completely miserable while she was stripping. She may have just made a bad decision which she later came to regret. It isn't necessarily the case that she suddenly woke up one morning and decided that she wasn't going to be a stripper anymore - it may have been something that built up over a period of time, perhaps even from the beginning.

    & Even if this isn't the case, why should she have to pay for this for the rest of her life? I could understand her boyfriend's concern if she were still involved in that type of industry but as it stands this is simply a thing of her past and something which she has clearly seen the light about. We all make bad decisions in our lifetimes (some worse than others, granted), but we should all be given the opportunity by society to change and not be penalized for things that we have later come to regret. Loosely speaking, everybody deserves a second chance when they have shown remorse for their actions.
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    (Original post by rain4475)
    oh come on, that's such a cop out.
    you should have told him the truth and you know it so don't make excuses for yourself - it's fair enough that you wouldn't tell him straight away, but once you were properly dating you should have let him know. It's not fair on him and you can't be mad that he wants time to think
    saying you're not good enough for him must be pretty annoying as you don't want to be treated as inferior, but if he does break up with you its understandable
    Ok this is a good post, albeit harsh! :eek:

    Nah it's all good and please believe me that I wanted to tell him everything all along, but it's not easy and I'm a very polite person, not graphic at all. Made it harder! If I were a 'I don't give a ****' kind of person, which I'm not, then it wouldn't have been a problem. But I'm... *ahem* quite shy.

    I have no idea what made me go into stripping, perhaps I wanted to see if I could do it :p:
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    Something like this is a significant factor in somebody's perception of you and in their decision to be with you...the fact that you kept it from him gives him all the more right to leave you.
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    He's wondering if your good enough? What a knob. Go find someone more open minded and less judgemental.
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    I'd personally just get rid of him myself. If he says to you 'you're no longer good enough for me', why the **** do you want to stay with him anyway? Grow a spine.
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    I don't understand why it's such a big deal... It was a job, yes it was one that involved her taking her clothes off but I bet he wouldn't have cared if she'd been a model. It's no wonder she didn't tell him the way he reacted, he's not mad because she lied, he's mad because she was a stripper.
    She's not doing it now so it doesn't effect him, what right does he have to say that she's less of person to him because she used to strip and that she's not good enough for him?
    Jesus christ TSR, what's wrong with you?
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    (Original post by Lizia)


    Why would she have stopped stripping, if not for a change of morals? Clearly people's morals do change so radically, or she'd still be stripping :rolleyes:
    Thank you, and my morals did change

    I'm totally different now, from that experience. Even though still young and I was constantly getting phone calls from the club's manager to return, I won't do it.

    x
 
 
 
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