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Boyfriend 'deciding whether to dump me' because of my stripper past watch

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    (Original post by HDS)
    You're joking right?

    It's not about a first date, besides which she's already told him she worked in a strip club, why not the whole truth?

    Why should he and his family have to settle for a girl who worked in the adult industry if they don't want to. To work in the adult industry you need a certain set of morals and beliefs.

    A militant atheist wouldn't get with an evangelical christian, so why is this any different?:rolleyes:
    He has the right to stop going out with her because of her past, what i'm saying is that she should dump him because if he's thinking she's not good enough for him (:rolleyes:) because of this then clearly she should probably be with someone who is less of an ass.

    And wtf does his family have to do with the relationship? Guy sounds like a loser.
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    im not surprised hes pissed if you kept it from him, i would be pissed too

    that kind of thing is a deal breaker to some people so you really should have told him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been going out with this guy for a couple months now, and although he knew most things about me right from the start, I with-held certain information about my past, ie. stripper.

    I kind of explained what I did, e.g. lingerie waitressing at a strip club, which is the truth, but I just didn't tell him it led to stripping. It's not the type of thing I'm comfortable with revealing to everyone, lol, I work in a law firm as a receptionist now part-time while fnishing my degree.
    Nice.
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    (Original post by PlanetTea)
    He's wondering if your good enough? What a knob. Go find someone more open minded and less judgemental.
    This. You're clearly not a conservative girl so perhaps find someone more on your wavelength.
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    Fair enough, the lad needs time to think but at the end of the day he shouldn't be taking a week out 'deciding whether or not to dump you' - at least certainly not using those words. The right person won't care about your ******* past! Anybody who doesn't think you're good enough for them because of choices you've made by yourself, isn't good enough for you. I don't care whether you're an ex-stripper or not, you're you and you are good enough for the right person. Tell that narrow-minded prick to do one. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. Half the people on here have never experienced anything other than extra-curricular activities and summer camps, live your life.
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    Well, from my experience, being a law-firm receptionist ain't all that different. :rolleyes:
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    Did the OP lie? I thought she just withheld details. Which isn't exactly outright lying. :p:
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    ...and to all the idiots posting on this thread, she didn't lie, she just didn't open up to her boyfriend about everything after a day of being together. She's an adult, it's her choice of when she lets somebody in to her past. You can't trust everyone.
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    (Original post by rain4475)
    whats being a virgin got to do with it? she was a stripper not a prostitute
    A number of people have seen her with no / few clothes on, and she was paid for that. So ******* what? Why should anyone care?

    But he does, and I am suggesting that the sort of man that wants to have been the only one to see their partner nakkid is also the sort that wants to be the only one they've slept with.
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    Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

    Tell him to stop being so up-tight. Personally, if anyone told me they wernt sure if I was 'good enough' for them- I'de tell them to get stuffed and date some-one more down to earth who does not feel like Im a degenerate.

    I mean, its not like you cheated on him or anything (that would be something worth time off to think about)...he's making way too big a deal out of it and from what I see hes not worth sticking to.
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    (Original post by James4d)
    Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

    Tell him to stop being so up-tight. Personally, if anyone told me they wernt sure if I was 'good enough' for them- I'de tell them to get stuffed and date some-one more down to earth who does not feel like Im a degenerate.

    I mean, its not like you cheated on him or anything (that would be something worth time off to think about)...he's making way too big a deal out of it and from what I see hes not worth sticking to.
    Exactly I did all these things BEFORE I even met him, I'm not in the business anymore. I don't see why he's getting so upset, or saying since I've 'crossed the line', he has to take time out to think about it :/

    It's killing me inside, because after all I have done for him, I feel like a degenerate. That's why I'm frustrated.

    Anyway it has been a few days already, and he says he'll have an answer for me by Wed. If it's one of those 'I'll consider having an open-relationship' decisions, I'll have to end it I'm sorry. I can't deal with the lack of respect when I'ma changed person. And he keeps on going on about 'what if my family find out, when accidently bumping from someone in your past?' wtf how will they find out? I moved cities. Unless they went back there and purposely probed, ffs.
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    (Original post by Superfrank)
    ...and to all the idiots posting on this thread, she didn't lie, she just didn't open up to her boyfriend about everything after a day of being together. She's an adult, it's her choice of when she lets somebody in to her past. You can't trust everyone.
    Thank you Superfrank

    I had to let a bit of time pass before I comletely opened up, he does from from a conservative background so it was hard!
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    You didn't lie to him. You just didn't tell him the whole truth.

    Just wait for him. I'm probably right in thinking that you would feel the same if he did the same thing to you.
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    Haven't read the whole thread, but I wouldn't wait around while someone decided whether or not they could be persuaded to date me...you sound like a nice person (and it's not like you ever worked as a prostitute or anything)...him saying he's not sure whether you're good enough for him now etc is not good. Personally I wouldn't give him the option!
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    You shouldn't have lied, but everyone has a past.
    If you aren't doing it now, I can't see the problem.

    Actually the fact he said he isn't sure if ''you're good enough for him''
    would be enough for me to dump him.
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    I can't say I understand the problem with working as a stripper. This is where I differ from most: I'm middle-class; I hold strong conservative views; I'm a firm follower of Thatcher and I'm educated... However, I don't disagree with abortion or divorce or ******* escort girls or strippers.

    Seriously, you only live once, don't become one of these narrow-minded *****. I feel really strongly about this, I'm so bored of conventional curriculum-standard engineered clones that are shoved into society today.
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    If he genuinely loves you, he will come to accept your past. By what you said, OP, I don't think he does.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been going out with this guy for a couple months now, and although he knew most things about me right from the start, I with-held certain information about my past, ie. stripper.

    I kind of explained what I did, e.g. lingerie waitressing at a strip club, which is the truth, but I just didn't tell him it led to stripping. It's not the type of thing I'm comfortable with revealing to everyone, lol, I work in a law firm as a receptionist now part-time while fnishing my degree.

    Anyway so I confessed to him yesterday, because my conscience got the better of me and now he won't talk to me. He says he needs a week to think about whether he should dump me or not, as I'm 'no longer good enough' for him and his family, yet he 'still likes' me. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif

    I'm quite annoyed tbh, because I have otherwise been a very loyal and thoughtful girlfriend to him, even cancelling work a couple of times to help him move house. I'm not sure what to think now.
    It's really rather simple to be honest. Revealing that you were a stripper to any boyfriend will trigger this type of response. It's just something you have to deal with. You can't hide your past, not something like this. The fact that you told him shows that you do care about him or at least how he sees you. This doesn't impact on how good of a girl you are to him. However at the same time he is going through a crisis. From the moment he met you till now, hes developed an image of you - an understanding of who you are as a person. Revealing that you were a stripper shakes the basis of which he came to identity you meaning that he is struggling to retain that image of you he loves, because this past suggests that he maybe never really knew the 'real' you.

    It's very hard for him, but for you too. Give him time, days, weeks and maybe even in months. Eventually you will have to talk to him that you about your views on stripping and whether or not you would do it again if the situation were similar. Be honest with him. If he is principally against the concept, then you two have a serious issue. But none of this should impact the way you feel about each other. And as long as you in the longterm you two still want each other, there is that possibility you will get back together stronger than ever.

    He has to decide whether or not he can overlook this. Just send him messages reminding him of how good you two are together and something like this shouldn't get in the way of your future. It's too trivial and life is too short.
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    (Original post by Meus)
    It's really rather simple to be honest. Revealing that you were a stripper to any boyfriend will trigger this type of response. It's just something you have to deal with. You can't hide your past, not something like this. The fact that you told him shows that you do care about him or at least how he sees you. This doesn't impact on how good of a girl you are to him. However at the same time he is going through a crisis. From the moment he met you till now, hes developed an image of you - an understanding of who you are as a person. Revealing that you were a stripper shakes the basis of which he came to identity you meaning that he is struggling to retain that image of you he loves, because this past suggests that he maybe never really knew the 'real' you.

    It's very hard for him, but for you too. Give him time, days, weeks and maybe even in months. Eventually you will have to talk to him that you about your views on stripping and whether or not you would do it again if the situation were similar. Be honest with him. If he is principally against the concept, then you two have a serious issue. But none of this should impact the way you feel about each other. And as long as you in the longterm you two still want each other, there is that possibility you will get back together stronger than ever.

    He has to decide whether or not he can overlook this. Just send him messages reminding him of how good you two are together and something like this shouldn't get in the way of your future. It's too trivial and life is too short.
    Thanks, this is really really good advice.

    I read it twice :p:

    That's great, I will think about that, and let him ponder until I see him in a couple days time.

    He sent me a text to ask how I'm going today, which is a good sign!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He says he needs a week to think about whether he should dump me or not, as I'm 'no longer good enough' for him and his family, yet he 'still likes' me. :rolleyes:
    .
    your boyfriend - if i was to say what he really was TSR would replace it with *******

    needless to say OP based purely on this statement i would ssay if he dumps you - you are much better off without him - he sounds like a prat
 
 
 
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