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difficulties with 'I love you' watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes. shhhh
    Lol, alright, I'll not say anything.
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    I have respect for the guy, because those three words are said by everyone under the sun half the time, and in reality don't mean as much as you think. Personally, i wouldn't say them until quite a way into the relationship, simply because if you say it immediately then it pretty much means nothing. Although 6 months in seems a fair time to begin, and i can understand why you might feel this way, surely if he didn't love you he wouldn't be with you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you don't care you don't have to reply. Obviously if my boyfriend isn't that into me I'm going to care.
    Does he kiss you? Does he hug you? Does he hold your hand? Does he stick his penis into you?

    All of these are tell-tell signs that he's "into you." Stop being so insecure.
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    This doesnt matter.

    If something doesn't seem right, or you get the impression something is wrong then just get out of there. If he's not satisfying your emotional needs now, he never will do and you'll always be feeling confused.
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    (Original post by JohnnytheFox)
    Does he kiss you? Does he hug you? Does he hold your hand? Does he stick his penis into you?

    All of these are tell-tell signs that he's "into you." Stop being so insecure.
    Er, I don't know what kind of serious relationships you've been in, but I want more than hand holding.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Er, I don't know what kind of serious relationships you've been in, but I want more than hand holding.
    Yeah, because we all know it's not a relationship without being told "I love you," every minute of every day.

    You're an insecure fool without the mental maturity for a successful relationship. Do both yourself and him a favour and dump him, already.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been with my boyfriend officially for just over 6 months, we've known and liked each other for over a year. Everything's great except we're having some problems with the 'three words'. We've never properly said 'I love you', he said it a couple of times when he was drunk and always brings up the issue if he's wasted. However when I've tried to talk about it when we're sober he says he's not ready or just makes it clear he doesn't want to say it- but then he'll bring it up again next time he's drunk and try and (nonsensically) talk about it. The other day he was drunk and said something like 'you know I hate the word love but my brother loves you'- well, if he hates the word love why does he keep saying it when he's drunk? He's always the one to bring it up, not me. I think he knows I'm really into him, and I've made it clear that if he says it to me when I'm sober I'll say it back.

    I kinda feel like he's messing me around and it's really annoying. I know that words aren't what matter so much as actions, but if it's the case that he does believe in love but just doesn't love me then that's a real issue for me, and if he doesn't love me yet I don't think he ever will. On the other hand, it might just be that he hates the phrase I love you and doesn't want to say it to anyone ever (in which case why does he bring it up when he's drunk?) and if that's the case I'm fine with that, if not a little disappointed. It's difficult to talk to him about it since we're in a long distance relationship and I'd rather not do it on the phone. Can anyone translate his behaviour for me?

    btw apart from this issue we have a great relationship and I know he wants to be with me
    Some guys and girls for that matter, find it hard expressing there emotions.
    I know I certainly do.

    Maybe he feels more confident in expressing himself with a bit of alcohol in his system??

    Tbh, I think your over-reacting. You've only been together 6 months. You say you've liked each other for a year, but it wasn't official.
    It took my boyfriend about year to even start saying the words to me. But that wasn't important. It's through his actions that I know that he loves me.

    We don't even hold hands, but that's not important, because we are both not the type of people to express ourselves in public.

    If your not happy with the situation your in I suggest you tell him not tell you that he 'loves' you when his drunk until he can tell you when his sober.

    Every relationship is different, but from here it seems like your pushing for love already. And relationships don't work like that.
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    (Original post by JohnnytheFox)
    Yeah, because we all know it's not a relationship without being told "I love you," every minute of every day.

    You're an insecure fool without the mental maturity for a successful relationship. Do both yourself and him a favour and dump him, already.
    Give me a break. Try actually reading and attempting to understand a thread without getting reactionist and aggressive, please. Or just don't post, since nothing you've said has been of any use whatsoever. Bye now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Give me a break. Try actually reading and attempting to understand a thread without getting reactionist and aggressive, please. Or just don't post, since nothing you've said has been of any use whatsoever. Bye now.
    From your original post, you said, and I quote: "apart from this issue we have a great relationship and I know he wants to be with me"

    So, you're making an unnecessary issue out of the fact that he doesn't say "I love you." Maybe he's one of those people who believe that that phrase is over-used in today's society, maybe he doesn't want to say it all the time and cheapen it's meaning or maybe, he thinks your relationship is so good, that it doesn't need to be reinforced by constant reminders of how much he loves you. Some people prefer to express emotions by actions, rather than words.

    If it's such a big deal for you, why don't you say it first and see how he reacts? Or better yet, consider yourself lucky that you're in a serious relationship and stop trying to make unnecessary drama out of petty things.
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    Do you feel like this because you love him so much, and would be ready to say it, but feel that he wouldn't, and therefore doesn't like you as much as you like him? If so, I don't think that is necessarily the right conclusion. He may just be more inhibited than you are.

    This is a bit too complicated for me. I would suggest you either
    a) decide it's not so important and wait until he is ready
    b) ask him if he loves you or
    c) say it first.
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    (Original post by JohnnytheFox)
    From your original post, you said, and I quote: "apart from this issue we have a great relationship and I know he wants to be with me"

    So, you're making an unnecessary issue out of the fact that he doesn't say "I love you." Maybe he's one of those people who believe that that phrase is over-used in today's society, maybe he doesn't want to say it all the time and cheapen it's meaning or maybe, he thinks your relationship is so good, that it doesn't need to be reinforced by constant reminders of how much he loves you. Some people prefer to express emotions by actions, rather than words.

    If it's such a big deal for you, why don't you say it first and see how he reacts? Or better yet, consider yourself lucky that you're in a serious relationship and stop trying to make unnecessary drama out of petty things.
    If you weren't so determined to attack me maybe you would have understood that the issue isn't that he won't say 'I love you'. If it had never come up at all I'd be fine with that. I don't think it necessarily needs to be said. As I said in my original post, I don't think the words are that important, I think actions are more important. My issue is that he's obviously having difficulties with the love thing, and I don't know where I stand. If your boyfriend repeatedly says he love you when drunk then practically takes it back the next day that's going to be an issue, he's messing me about. I don't think 'I love you' necessarily needs to be said, but when it is said, to me it's a big deal. So of course I'm going to be upset when my boyfriend says it and I don't know what he means by it.

    Anyhow, I don't have to defend myself here- moreover, I shouldn't be being attacked and insulted in the first place, thanks.
 
 
 
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