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Does anyone who took a gap year feel like they can't identify with people at uni? watch

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    This might be just Cambridge- basically I'm in my first year uni and I haven't really made any good friends here and the social life is rubbish (probably mainly the lack of friends). I've tried hard to make friends and do have people to hang out with/ go out with- but there just isn't anyone I really 'click' with- they all just feel totally different to me.

    I've been wondering if maybe one problem is that the majority of people here didn't take gap years- and I spent all my gap year hanging out with 21-23year olds so the people in my college feel waay younger than me- they seem like lovely people on the whole- but they just seem so inexperienced and have no idea what they want in life and are sort of tame and easily impressed. The environment feels really school-like- people tend to hang out in cliques and there is a sort of 'cool kids' crowd who don't talk to other people. The only people I really like are the third years and a few second years- but it doesn't seem possible to become good friends with them.

    It might also be that the general crowd at Cambridge has got more than its fair share of introverted/quiet/ well behaved students- people do work extremely hard in general, and there isn't much to do in the way of night life that appeals to me, and no-one seems to want to have room parties/drinking games. People here generally seem to be beginning to have the experiences I had at 16. I really don't hold it against the people in my year- if they want to live a quieter existence and work hard then good for them- but I can't help feeling frustrated that there isn't anyone like the amazing friends I made on my gap year.

    I'm just wondering what other people's experience is in other unis- it might just be the particular people I've been thrown together with..
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    Gosh.

    I hope this doesn't happen to me. I'll be 20 when I go!

    Sounds more like it could be a combination of their age and them being Cambridge people, I would have thought most other unis do drinking games and stuff.
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    When I started uni, most of the people who took gap years thought they were superior to the rest of the students because they spent a year 'finding themselves' or whatever ******** they said.
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    ah don't say that I'm starting Cambridge after a gap year and I'll be 20 on the first day of term... hopefully I won't have the same experience as you..
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    (Original post by buzzseeker)
    When I started uni, most of the people who took gap years thought they were superior to the rest of the students because they spent a year 'finding themselves' or whatever ******** they said.
    can you elaborate on that a bit? I ask before the main reason I haven't said a word to anyone about this is because I wouldn't know how to not come across as sounding patronising. I actually don't notice a huge amount of different between people who have taken gap years- I actually find it really difficult to put my finger on exactly why I don't connect- I can't really tell if its age/ general crowd/ people who happen to be in my college/ the fact that everyone's english..

    what's your experience of people who took gap years?
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    (Original post by yellowwdaisy)
    can you elaborate on that a bit? I ask before the main reason I haven't said a word to anyone about this is because I wouldn't know how to not come across as sounding patronising. I actually don't notice a huge amount of different between people who have taken gap years- I actually find it really difficult to put my finger on exactly why I don't connect- I can't really tell if its age/ general crowd/ people who happen to be in my college/ the fact that everyone's english..

    what's your experience of people who took gap years?
    I only knew a couple, but the definite attitude they gave off was that 'we're more mature than you because we took wonderful gap years'.
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    No not really, infact I'd forgotten I was a gapper and a year older than the majority of my year! There are quite a few gappers in my classes and mature students much older than me so I still fairly young. Also, the 18yr olds are all pretty mature (there are some exceptions!).
    At the end of the day it's only a 12 month difference - it's nothing, and I don't even think about it.
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    I know a girl who took a gap year at my uni who doesn't really fit in. But then again there's another one who's out all the time.
    I'd say it's more to do with you as a person, and the uni, then wether you took a gap year or not.
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    (Original post by Gemma :)!)
    I know a girl who took a gap year at my uni who doesn't really fit in. But then again there's another one who's out all the time.
    I'd say it's more to do with you as a person, and the uni, then wether you took a gap year or not.
    yeah that could certainly be true

    I think the fact that I was never happy at school/ always wanted to live in another country and was way happier when I did is part of it. I feel like I've gone back to being the sad/unpopular one I was at school- people feel way more judgemental and narrow-minded here than they did on my gap year- partly because people there were all different ages/ nationalities/ backgrounds...
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    (Original post by yellowwdaisy)
    yeah that could certainly be true

    I think the fact that I was never happy at school/ always wanted to live in another country and was way happier when I did is part of it. I feel like I've gone back to being the sad/unpopular one I was at school- people feel way more judgemental and narrow-minded here than they did on my gap year- partly because people there were all different ages/ nationalities/ backgrounds...
    I can sympathise with that. I don't think I've ever been fully happy with who/where I am, and people aren't very accommodating to those who are a little different to themselves. If there are any societies/clubs which involve your personal interests they could be your best bet.
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    You applied to Cambridge - surely you were intelligent enough to realise this before you went?

    :facepalm2:
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    your at cambridge, i cant imagine any of the students there being huge party animals, except perhaps the really rich ones
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    I really, really hate this type of gap year student.

    "Yeah, I went round the world getting pissed and looking at poor people. You guys haven't had the experience I've had, you just don't know what you want out of life....general bull...."

    I think the problem is that you take your gap year too seriously, you think that because you've travelled you have that bull **** quality that is "world knowledge", and so even before you started you had placed up a barrier because you were expecting everyone to be less mature than you and came across as patronising (I mean the bit where you said that everyone is just starting to have the experience you started when you were 16, but it's OK because they're young - if you have said that to anyone is only a year younger than you, they will have decided then and there that you would be annoying to get to know).
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    You applied to Cambridge - surely you were intelligent enough to realise this before you went?

    :facepalm2:
    well loads of people said cambridge was so much fun- including loads of people I talked to who were at cambridge..
    some people here are having 'an amazing time'- but yeah- I should have got my head out of my a** and realised that being amazingly educated/ getting to a high level is nowhere near as important as having a fun time..
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    (Original post by yellowwdaisy)
    well loads of people said cambridge was so much fun- including loads of people I talked to who were at cambridge..
    some people here are having 'an amazing time'- but yeah- I should have got my head out of my a** and realised that being amazingly educated/ getting to a high level is nowhere near as important as having a fun time..
    you realise the error of your ways - that's a step in the right direction :yes:
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    basically, this thread is an epitome of all the wannabe Oxbridge TSRians.
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    basically, this thread is an epitome of all the wannabe Oxbridge TSRians.
    how do you mean?
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    (Original post by fumblewomble)
    If you're really worried about it being a 'Cambridge' phenomenon have you thought about wandering over to Anglia Ruskin? Or getting involved with some town rather than gown activities where you would be mixing with people of all ages?
    What sort of town activities?
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    I took a gap year and I've had no problem. Alot of my friends took one as well. We get on absolutely fine with those who didn't, it makes no difference. I forget a lot of the time we're not all the same age.
 
 
 
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