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Does anyone who took a gap year feel like they can't identify with people at uni? Watch

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    (Original post by fumblewomble)
    It depends - what do you like doing?
    Well anything, I know evening classes exist - but most of them have already started/run through our holidays, etc so aren't convenient.

    And of course could join a sunday league team or something.

    But other than that what is there?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    your at cambridge, i cant imagine any of the students there being huge party animals, except perhaps the really rich ones
    And your experience of this is what, exactly? Did nobody see the 'drunken Cambridge students' stories in the paper last summer?

    I don't think it's to do with being at Cambridge, or with the fact you took a gap year. I was at Cambridge and took a gap year and had no problems 'connecting' with people or finding friends that shared my interests. There were plenty of parties and drinking games too. I think you've just been unlucky with the people in your year group- are you at a small college?

    You don't even need to cross the gown vs town divide to find like-minded people; there are societies for anything you can think of, not just for the obvious. There is life and excitement if you're willing to look for it, but I think a lot of people are just so grateful to have got there that they don't want to risk messing up by working all the time. They'll learn- Captain Tripos will wear them down soon enough...
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    (Original post by yellowwdaisy)
    This might be just Cambridge- basically I'm in my first year uni and I haven't really made any good friends here and the social life is rubbish (probably mainly the lack of friends). I've tried hard to make friends and do have people to hang out with/ go out with- but there just isn't anyone I really 'click' with- they all just feel totally different to me.

    I've been wondering if maybe one problem is that the majority of people here didn't take gap years- and I spent all my gap year hanging out with 21-23year olds so the people in my college feel waay younger than me- they seem like lovely people on the whole- but they just seem so inexperienced and have no idea what they want in life and are sort of tame and easily impressed. The environment feels really school-like- people tend to hang out in cliques and there is a sort of 'cool kids' crowd who don't talk to other people. The only people I really like are the third years and a few second years- but it doesn't seem possible to become good friends with them.

    It might also be that the general crowd at Cambridge has got more than its fair share of introverted/quiet/ well behaved students- people do work extremely hard in general, and there isn't much to do in the way of night life that appeals to me, and no-one seems to want to have room parties/drinking games. People here generally seem to be beginning to have the experiences I had at 16. I really don't hold it against the people in my year- if they want to live a quieter existence and work hard then good for them- but I can't help feeling frustrated that there isn't anyone like the amazing friends I made on my gap year.

    I'm just wondering what other people's experience is in other unis- it might just be the particular people I've been thrown together with..
    I'd be interested to hear a backstory from you. I mean, you say you can't relate to the people in your year, but what did you get up to on your gap year? How did you spend the year?

    I am in a similar position I think... I am on a year out and mix with people older than me, in their 20s.
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    (Original post by paddyman4)
    I really, really hate this type of gap year student.

    "Yeah, I went round the world getting pissed and looking at poor people. You guys haven't had the experience I've had, you just don't know what you want out of life....general bull...."
    and your attitude is exactly the kind which is making life difficult for the thread starter.
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    (Original post by Ernesto)
    I'd be interested to hear a backstory from you. I mean, you say you can't relate to the people in your year, but what did you get up to on your gap year? How did you spend the year?

    I am in a similar position I think... I am on a year out and mix with people older than me, in their 20s.
    well I've always had this feeling I would be happier in another country. I lived in france and germany- in Germany I made no friends (lived with only german students) and got really homesick, in france I was really lucky- I got on like a house on fire with everyone in my flat and my language school- but even there I didn't really click with many english people- my friends were american, spanish, dutch, mexican, swedish- and I didn't feel like even the one's who were a little younger than me were 'immature' or young- I really got on well with them. I suppose part of the problem here is that I'm not part of a minority- there are as many people here I like (my year and others) but they are all in different social groups with other people I don't click with, and as soon as I meet foreign students I feel we have something to talk about (their experience in a foreign country perhaps).

    I think it might be more to do with the fact its a sort of school situation- a year group of the same age, same situation in an institution.. I don't think its simply nationality/age....

    A lot of my friends in france seemed to think they wouldn't be able to keep up with their old school friends after their time in france..
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    You ''lived'' in France and Germany - for what, 6 months each? That's not living there, that's an extended holiday.

    Typical type of gap year kid syndrome. Mum and Dad funded your year-long stint around the world, you met up with like-minded people during your year abroad, and you all self-congratulated on your newly-found world wisdom. Of course you're not going to click with them, because in your mind before they've even opened their mouths, you've decided they are inferior, so much less worldy, so much less cosmopolitan and bohemian.

    If you want to make a group of friends, you need to move on. The gap year was nothing that impressive. It has made you evolve, in the same way that other experiences have made others evolve, and so everyone is as knowledgable in his or her own way.
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    (Original post by in_vogue)
    You ''lived'' in France and Germany - for what, 6 months each? That's not living there, that's an extended holiday.

    Typical type of gap year kid syndrome. Mum and Dad funded your year-long stint around the world, you met up with like-minded people during your year abroad, and you all self-congratulated on your newly-found world wisdom. Of course you're not going to click with them, because in your mind before they've even opened their mouths, you've decided they are inferior, so much less worldy, so much less cosmopolitan and bohemian.

    If you want to make a group of friends, you need to move on. The gap year was nothing that impressive. It has made you evolve, in the same way that other experiences have made others evolve, and so everyone is as knowledgable in his or her own way.
    I don't think that's entirely fair- it took me until 3 weeks into this term to start feeling like this- over the christmas holidays I felt like cambridge was going fine. Its not about people not being knowlegeable- I find it really difficult to get close to people here and I'm trying to work out why- the age gap is just one possible explanation. The people I do really consider friends don't go out all that much and those that do don't like doing the things my friends last year did- that's what's getting me frustrated
 
 
 
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