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Would a church wedding be a dealbreaker for you? watch

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    (Original post by haz220807)
    I'd never get married in a church. Firstly because I can't - I haven't been christened. But also because to me the whole point of getting married in church is so it's a union between the two people and God. If you don't believe in God then there's no need to get married in church.
    The second reason is fine. But the CofE says you don't have to be baptised to get married in church. So that's one urban legend put to rest.

    :o: Don't ask why I've been looking at that website...
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    (Original post by common_person)
    I've been brought up with church weddings being the norm and so it feels like a default choice for a venue, but when I think about it I realise I don't give a **** and will probably be happy even if I elope and get married in my pyjamas.


    Also, if I got married in a church I'd feel a bit weird. I don't think I want God to have any part in my marriage, even if it's just for ceremony and tradition. I don't think I want the blessings and whatnot, I'd feel a terrible fraud and I'd be all "God can keep his nose out of my wedding".
    You just summed up exactly how I feel. Couldn't have put it better myself.

    I would love to go abroad on a nice sunny beach somewhere to get married. With just me, him, family and a few close friends there. And make a week of it staying in some nice resort with everyone like they do in the moooovies
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    The other half was in the same Predicment as this, it was an issue for me so i just pressed the issue and talked her round to it.

    Church Weddings are just beautiful.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    The second reason is fine. But the CofE says you don't have to be baptised to get married in church. So that's one urban legend put to rest.

    :o: Don't ask why I've been looking at that website...
    I think some churches do require you to be.
    Doesn't matter anyway as reason two is much more important in my eyes!
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    Getting married is a deal breaker for me.
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    So many parents seem to get very involved in their children's weddings. It's his right to say he doesn't want to get married in a church as much as it is yours to say you do. I suggest you decide what you want to do between you and tell your mum to butt out!
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    tbh it has nothing to do with your mam where you and your bf decide to get married its yours and his wedding not hers so tell her to mind her own business, i see no point in getting married in a church if you arnt religious

    being an athiest myself it wouldnt bother me in the slightest, my bf is a christian but hes not fussed about getting married in a church

    tbh we are doing it on the centre spot of st james park :rofl: and if anyone has a problem with that then they need not come to it
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Churches are cool. Religion is not. Just have a secular ceremony in a decommisioned church.
    This is the compromise I'd make. I don't want a church wedding, and I'd hope whoever I was going to marry wouldn't either. But just in case...
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    I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a building.

    An atheist should have the attitude of: "So what's wrong with getting married in a Church? It's just an ordinary building, it's not as though the almighty spaghetti monster is going to send me to atheist-Hell for it".
    And a Christian should have the attitude of: "Why do I need to get married in a Church? It's not as though the God says 'thou shalt marry in a building with stained-glass windows', a marriage is a marriage, regardless of the location".

    People need to lighten up...!
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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a building.

    An atheist should have the attitude of: "So what's wrong with getting married in a Church? It's just an ordinary building, it's not as though the almighty spaghetti monster is going to send me to atheist-Hell for it".
    And a Christian should have the attitude of: "Why do I need to get married in a Church? It's not as though the God says 'thou shalt marry in a building with stained-glass windows', a marriage is a marriage, regardless of the location".

    People need to lighten up...!
    It's not just the church itself, it's the ceremony. IMO it's far more about whether you're prepared to a)make marriage vows in front of God (the wording of a religious ceremony specifically includes this) if you don't believe in Him or b)have a civil ceremony without any mention of God if you DO believe and want God to be a part of your marriage.
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    I'd rather not get married in a church tbh, and although this would annoy some members of my family (some, like my grandparents, quite seriously I expect if they'res till alive if I get married) at the end of the day who gives a **** what your family think? The day belongs to YOU and the person you're getting married to, not anyone else.
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    I don't think i'd be prepared to go through a church cermony, however then again i doubt i'd be willing to marry someone who thought it was a necessity.
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    (Original post by jammythedodger)
    A Non-Church Wedding is very much a dealbraker for me.

    I will get married in a Church and nothing else.
    It's too important for me to not take me vows "in front of God" so to speak.
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    Surely God is everywhere? Doesn't matter if you're in a church or not, I'm fairly sure that God will be there (if there isn't something better on TV!)

    To the OP: Relationships are about compromise - but between the two of you. Whilst it's good to take other perspectives (such as your mothers) on board, it's your day at the end of it. Do what you want to do - if you're not bothered about a church ceremony, maybe consider it but have a look at other locations too, to see if there is anything else you'd prefer.

    I'm not bothered about being in church when I get married - it's a ceremony. I'm celebrating my love for my parter (although I'm not particularly sure about marriage as a whole), but me not being religious means that I'd feel really, really wrong having a religious ceremony - maybe that is how your boyfriend feels? Regardless of his attitude to religion, if he isn't religious himself he may feel awkward about taking part in a religious ceremony. But yes, at the end of the day, it's your ceremony - do you think you'll regret not getting married in a church?

    (Original post by py0alb)
    Churches are cool. Religion is not. Just have a secular ceremony in a decommisioned church.
    This is the best idea! Churches can be very pretty
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    I'm pretty anti-religion, but if she wanted to get married in a church I wouldn't mind. I'd never be with someone truly devout, but if it makes her mother happy why not? It doesn't matter where it happens.
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    Not a deal breaker, but I'd prefer an outside wedding done by one of those guys who do civil weddings.
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    I would not want to get married in a registry office. I would rather remain cohabitating than go to a registry office. They are so formal for something that is meant to be so romantic. No, I'd like a wedding, outside in the snow, and then we can all go off and have a snowball fight afterwards .
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    (Original post by haz220807)
    I think some churches do require you to be.
    Doesn't matter anyway as reason two is much more important in my eyes!
    I think it's a law that all CoE churches have to allow you to get married there if it's your local church. Obviously other denominations have their own rules.
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    tell him to get over himself and stop being a whiny *****
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    (Original post by Turdburger)
    But God is everywhere apparently isnt he?
    That's why I put it in quotation marks and said "so to speak".
    It's a cultural thing and a symbolic thing, which relate to my faith.
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    (Original post by Doodahdoo)
    ...
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    Surely God is everywhere? Doesn't matter if you're in a church or not, I'm fairly sure that God will be there (if there isn't something better on TV!)
    Thats why I put it in quotation marks and said "so to speak" after it.
    It's a cultural and symbolic thing which links into my faith.
 
 
 
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