I'd be pretty upset if I'd gotten engaged and found my fiancé flat-out refusing to get married in a church. I know it's all about compromise, but as it's quite important to me i'd hope (well tbh i'd hope they'd would know me enough to realise i'd want to get married in a church ) they'd be willing to let me.
Would a church wedding be a dealbreaker for you? Watch
- 01-02-2010 22:50
- 02-02-2010 00:09
My mum refused, since childhood, point blank, that she would never get married in a church.
Eventually, she met my Dad and they went to get married (sweet )
My Dad, the day before the wedding, said to my mum's dad "You know, I would have had a church wedding if she'd have wanted".
My grandfather said "Never let her catch you saying that, she'll call the bloody thing off!"
Anyway, just came to mind. For me, I wouldn't want to get married in a church, half out of respect because I don't want to be a bloody four-wheeler. Half because I wonder whether someone who desperately wanted one would actually be similar enough to me for eventual marriage to work. But if it would, and she wanted it, it's the woman I love - I want her to be happy - but is it right of her to ask?
My problem is that it isn't actually legitimate. You can say all the vows you want, you are not married until you go off to the side and sign a little bit of paper. God has nothing to do with it, legally speaking.
On your situation. The marriage is for the bride and groom. If he's not comfortable, then your mum shouldn't sway you, it's not fair on the man you love. I doubt you'd regret it, why on EARTH would you?
(Original post by jammythedodger)
- 02-02-2010 19:26
Thats why I put it in quotation marks and said "so to speak" after it.
It's a cultural and symbolic thing which links into my faith.
And do you understand why you want to get married in a church, apart from the fact that it's a cultural thing? (I don't mean that to sound rude or aggressive, it's just that I've a few fairly religious friends who don't really know why they believe what they do, they just believe it because they've been told to believe it, so I was just wondering if you had any further reasoning for it)Last edited by Doodahdoo; 02-02-2010 at 19:29.
- Thread Starter
- 03-02-2010 00:45
My doormat dad has now started being really mean about it too. He tends to agree unshakingly with my mother and goes along with pretty much whatever she wnast but she knows he take sit too far some times. He keeps looking at my scrap book and saying why the hell do you need these, if your having a civil ceremony you might as well get married in a jeans and tshirt, it doesn't mean anything. He's really upset me.
- 03-02-2010 02:13
I'd rather not get married in a church but my boyfriend wants to. Its not a big issue so I would consider it because its his wedding too but I'm not bothered either way, I just think its annoying for guests having to find the church then drive somewhere else afterwards.
If your mum is religious then I would tell her if God is everywhere then he'll also be at the venue where you get married, church or not, so it shouldn't be an issue. It would be nice to do something religious or for your mum, like have the dinner blessed.Last edited by kamc; 03-02-2010 at 02:20.
(Original post by Doodahdoo)
- 03-02-2010 03:16
Would you really leave somebody that you love enough to marry, for the sake of symbolism and 'culture'?
And do you understand why you want to get married in a church, apart from the fact that it's a cultural thing? (I don't mean that to sound rude or aggressive, it's just that I've a few fairly religious friends who don't really know why they believe what they do, they just believe it because they've been told to believe it, so I was just wondering if you had any further reasoning for it)
The simple fact is also, I want to take a religious vow (can this be done in a civil thing? a blessing just doesn't do it for me otherwise). Which is symbolic, but symbolic of a very real Christian faith.
Its just on so many levels, for me, marrying outside of a Church feels so wrong. I guess it's jst something I want to do and feel I out to do at the same time.