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    What would you do if you discovered your longterm boyfriend/girlfriend had a good chance of developing a serious hereditary incurable disease in years to come? Would you continue the relationship knowing that life would be very difficult if/when this happens?
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    So you propose dumping them on the off chance? Nice. If you genuinely loved them you wouldn't need to ask the question. How old are you? The relationship could well have run its natural course years before anything happens.
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    If you love them, you would want to be with them regardless.

    Life is always difficult, you can't get round that.
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    (Original post by sidi)
    So you propose dumping them on the off chance? Nice. If you genuinely loved them you wouldn't need to ask the question. How old are you? The relationship could well have run its natural course years before anything happens.
    No, i'm not considering dumping this person, we have been going out 4 years and i couldn't imagine being without him/her.
    I started this forum to begin a discussing to help me as I'm just trying to work through the worry/fear I'm feeling, not to get advice about whether or not to dump him/her.
    There seems to be a 50/50 chance that this will happen in approx 20 years. It has already happened to his/her mother and i have seen the pain the whole family have gone through. I'm trying to consider the 20 years of happiness with this person and then possibly another 30 of pain and suffering.
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    I thought about this, and I don't know... I'd like to say I would stay and just hope it never happens, but honestly, I don't think anyone would know until you are in that situation.
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    (Original post by Ham22)
    thats really sad. everyone is at risk of developing a disease or condition as they age, it's just you are in the knowledge that it is more likley to happen to your partner. i'm not really being of much use, but i sympathise.

    are there any tests they can take to find out more about the likleyhood of developing whatever condition?

    Suppose it is a difficult topic to give advice on. Don't really know what i am looking for, just wish the problem would go away. Can't imagine spending the next 20 years looking for signs and waiting.
    There is a test to see if the gene is present, but my partner will never take the test.
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    depends what it is but i would prob end the relationship
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Suppose it is a difficult topic to give advice on. Don't really know what i am looking for, just wish the problem would go away. Can't imagine spending the next 20 years looking for signs and waiting.
    There is a test to see if the gene is present, but my partner will never take the test.
    That sounds very much like Huntigtons Disease!

    Whatever the illness is, there's not much anyone can say to advise you either. If there is a 50/50 chance of it being passed on to any child a carrier has and your partner will not take the test but want's children, s/he is playing genetic Russian roulette with the lives of any future children. Questions you should ask yourself:

    Could you, with a clear conscious, have children without knowing whether or not your partner carries the gene?

    Should your partner develop the illness, could you look your children in the eye and tell them that there's a 50/50 chance that they'll develop the illness?

    Is your partner ready to answer the question (if you have children) why s/he didn't have the test?

    If you do stay with them, then all you can you is discuss the issues openly and honestly...then get on with your lives within whatever parameters you decide on. I don't envy you that!
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    I'd stay. Depending on where the relationship was going, of course. No point in sticking around if you're only doing so because you feel as though you have to. And besides, you could get diagnosed with something at any point in the future. The only difference is you won't be treated like a ticking time bomb, waiting for the signs of it to appear.
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    If I really loved him then yeah, I probably would stay with him, even if it might become difficult further down the line. We're all mortal beings that are going to die one day anyway, may as well make the most of it.
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    My current boyfriend of about 3 years, his dad has type 1 diabetes he went blind when he was very young, he had never even seen my boyfriend. He is in his 40's now and recently had a really bad "hyper" and needs a new pancreas and liver which he is very unlikely to get.

    His dads partners' previous husband also died of a serious illness and now she has to cope with him dying too...

    So I have thought about what if my boyfriend develops diabetes too.

    But I think if you love someone you don't even have the choice to stay with them or not because you would ALWAYS want to be with them no matter how much it might hurt, I don't think it would be possible to leave them.
 
 
 
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