How to get over someone or else... persuade them to actually think about commitment..

Keep anon please.

Basically I had been casually dating this guy for a month or so without really having the "where are we going?" chat, although we get along great and it wasn't just about sex so I sort of expected it to turn into something. Anyway, about a week ago we were at his (we're both at uni) and he suddenly goes "I think this is a really bad idea", and starts with all this stuff about how he doesn't really do relationships, isn't sure what he wants, doesn't like being too dependent on another person... so for all these reasons it is apparently a bad idea but he hadnt (he said) thought it through until then, since he did really like me (which I do actually believe).

So I said, "Why is it a bad idea?" and he said "Because I really like you and it'll just get messy". So I'm starting to see a friends with benefits situation and I sort of said "thanks, but no thanks" and he agreed it probably wasn't a good idea.

But ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about him! We are still friends and talk on and off but I really, really like him and think he's just being silly. It's not like I want to get married! Is there any way I can get him to reconsider without sounding horrifically clingy/if not, best ways to forget about the whole saga....?!

Sorry for length!

Reply 1

metrostation22

what have you got to lose by telling him? just tell him the truth, dont be climgy as in 'i have to be with you' just put it simply and honestly: 'i really like you and i was wondering if there is a chance of anything happening' if he says yes, take it from there. if no, then you'll just unfortunately have to get over it. if he is undecided and doesnt know, it may be best to leave it although you like him a lot, as some people just arent ready to committ and it may leave you hurt in the long run. keeping it casual and including sex will only strengthen your feelings, so try to avoid this if it comes up as an option. tell him you want to know where you stand. good luck :smile: