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how can I make my mum stop asking me to "spy" on my dad? watch

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    This is completely ridiculous, they got divorced about 3 years ago (although the court case only just finished) and she still keeps asking me to spy on him. I'm at uni and she's always getting in touch with me just to find out things about him, she says she hates him and doesn't care so why the **** does she keep asking me? Yesterday she found out from my brother he's going on holiday so she asks me to find out what date and how much flights from the airport near us to where he's going are. I mean WTF?

    When they were both in court over money, she asked me to photograph his car so she could use it against him! Needless to say, I didn't.

    Whenever she finds out I've been round my dad's house, she asks about every tiny minute detail. what colour are his carpets, sofa, kitchen units, what did he give me to eat, drink, what did we talk about. It's a million and one ******* questions every time.

    Everytime I refuse to do her stupid requests she accuses me of "loving" him more than her.

    I want her to leave me out of it, I don't care about their business so I don't see why she keeps trying to involve me. But like I said, every time I refuse I get so much stick for it. She's being completely pathetic.
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    call the wacy shack cus no offence but your mum has issues. as if she wa really gonna stalk him on holiday
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    Just keep reiterating the message. You know you don't love one more than the other. Stay mentally strong and calmly explain to your mum that you don't want to continue. If she decides to flare up at you, stay calm and at least act the more mature.

    Good luck.
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    Tell her it's hard enough for kids to go through divorce without playing piggy in the effing middle. She's being extremely selfish if not insane.
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    psycho*****
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    Just tell her. Say that you understand that it is difficult for her, but that she is making it more difficult for you by asking you to do these things, and that you won't give her all the information she wants anymore. She has to respect that.

    I was in a pretty similar situation when I was younger, only that my parents were pretty much arguing through me. It went wrong, and I wish I'd been able to stay out of it..
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    (Original post by Echo_Foxtrot)
    Just keep reiterating the message. You know you don't love one more than the other. Stay mentally strong and calmly explain to your mum that you don't want to continue. If she decides to flare up at you, stay calm and at least act the more mature.

    Good luck.
    This is the problem, I have told her many times I don't want to talk about it (if I've been to see my dad) or that I'm not taking part in her ridiculous schemes, but she always goes in a massive strop, says a lot of hurtful things to me, is mean to my brother (even though she doesn't make him do the same strangely) and then just asks again. She just doesn't get it. This has been going on for 3 years now.
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    Psychooooo
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    she just misses him, be patient and give her tym, shes gonna be alright
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    (Original post by badboy1)
    she just misses him, be patient and give her tym, shes gonna be alright
    I really don't think she misses him, well she has a strange way of showing it if she does. I don't think I've been around her a single day without her making at least one comment of how much she hates him. :/
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    Obvious solution is to give increasingly ridiculous answers to her questions until she stops asking.
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    its all love
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    tell your dad
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    "Mum. I love you. I really do, but pipe down you loon. If you want someone to spy on pops, hire a private detective. Thanks"

    That worked for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is completely ridiculous, they got divorced about 3 years ago (although the court case only just finished) and she still keeps asking me to spy on him. I'm at uni and she's always getting in touch with me just to find out things about him, she says she hates him and doesn't care so why the **** does she keep asking me? Yesterday she found out from my brother he's going on holiday so she asks me to find out what date and how much flights from the airport near us to where he's going are. I mean WTF?

    When they were both in court over money, she asked me to photograph his car so she could use it against him! Needless to say, I didn't.

    Whenever she finds out I've been round my dad's house, she asks about every tiny minute detail. what colour are his carpets, sofa, kitchen units, what did he give me to eat, drink, what did we talk about. It's a million and one ******* questions every time.

    Everytime I refuse to do her stupid requests she accuses me of "loving" him more than her.

    I want her to leave me out of it, I don't care about their business so I don't see why she keeps trying to involve me. But like I said, every time I refuse I get so much stick for it. She's being completely pathetic.
    Explain that you don't spy on her for you're dad...so why do the vice versa? Explain you love them equally and 'spying' is an invasion of privacy.
 
 
 
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