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Can anyone help me out here? watch

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    I'm having a few issues with an ex-boyfriend of mine. We broke up 3 1/2 years ago and it was quite a messy breakup. He lives in the USA and I live in the UK.

    We haven't kept in touch very much because of the messy breakup. We would send each other emails a couple of times a year wishing each other well on holidays.

    Recently my ex requested to talk to me on an internet messaging service and that went OK. We both admitted that we had missed talking to each other other over the last 3.5 years. He told he that he has been living with his new girlfriend for 2 years and although it felt odd to hear about her, I accepted it as normal. He told me that their relationship was not as passionate as ours had been and a part of me felt that was an awkward compliment. I'm not sure if he really meant that he was happy about that, but so be it.

    The next week after we chatted, my ex emailed me to tell me that he had hoped I would have been online to talk to him. I emailed him back telling him that unfortunately I'm very busy at present as this is my final year and couldn't really talk well into the night (12 am onwards - owing to the 6 hour time difference). I wished him well at that point and made a vague comment about trying to do so again.

    Recently my ex emailed me asking me how I was again and I replied that I was feeling a bit grumpy over Christmas because of the revision I had to do. He emailed me back that he didn't wish to be a burden and if I wanted to talk he was available. Then, a few days ago he requested that I phone him for a short while... at 12 am. I ignored that email. He then emailed me this:

    "I'm with someone else. I'm in a relationship that I don't want to give up. But I miss you. I miss feeling like we actually care about each other, that we share some degree of intimacy, that there is some loyalty between us. Things have changed, I don't love you anymore, or more like a sister, if so."

    So guys, my question is... what exactly does my ex really want from me?

    What do you think about his requests? Are they typical? I've never really had a good relationship with any exes, so I don't know if this is 'normal' or not and my reaction of confusion is a bit OTT.

    Can anyone help?
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    I think that often in relationships when things stagnate, or arent going so well, or if you are single, people tend to look back to previous relationships with rose tinted grass is greener glasses, remembering the good times, the special quirks of your relationship etc. Its been a fairly long time, I would let sleeping dogs lie, and limit your contact.
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    I think that often in relationships when things stagnate, or arent going so well, or if you are single, people tend to look back to previous relationships with rose tinted grass is greener glasses, remembering the good times, the special quirks of your relationship etc. Its been a fairly long time, I would let sleeping dogs lie, and limit your contact.
    Thanks I think this may be the case too, but a part of me can't help but wonder if he genuinely just wants a good friend.
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    its natural to miss someone, especially as everyone is unique and you form different bonds and memories with different people. it may be that him and his now girlfriend are going through a bad patch and he is remembering the good times he had with you and so projecting his feeling towards you in home of familiarity and reassurance. or it may simply be that he misses you, it does happen. make sure things stay casual, obviously if his girlfriend was to find out you wouldnt want any 'incriminating' evidence.
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    (Original post by metrostation22)
    its natural to miss someone, especially as everyone is unique and you form different bonds and memories with different people. it may be that him and his now girlfriend are going through a bad patch and he is remembering the good times he had with you and so projecting his feeling towards you in home of familiarity and reassurance. or it may simply be that he misses you, it does happen. make sure things stay casual, obviously if his girlfriend was to find out you wouldnt want any 'incriminating' evidence.
    Do you think his girlfriend doesn't know that he emailed me? He was always so intent on loyalty when we were going out. I find it interesting that he has stated he cares for me as a 'sister' and wants 'loyalty' to be there.
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    it is really odd :/. how exactly do you feel about him?? because if you are i nany way reciprocating the feelings then its understandable why he would keep replying etc etc, but if not then it may just be a case of him remembering and reminiscing..
 
 
 
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