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feeling confident with a body thats not seen as 'perfect' watch

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    Heya tink....
    Firstly you can be happy with a body which isn't perfect, but you can also be happy with shooting yourself in the foot. Nature & society has drilled into us that a healthy body is an attractive one, whereas a larger one is unattractive. Why should someone find a body of a person that has not taken care of themselves attractive? Do people enjoy greasy hair? Nope, so why would they enjoy blubber?
    As for my body, it's work in progress. I cannot understand anyone who doesn't make the most of their body. You have one shot at it, so why would you waste it for lethargy instead? I don't want to look back when I'm older and think I wasted my youth, but I want to know I made the most of it, and that means having a healthy, attractive body. There are no advantages to being fat, so I can't understand why anyone would choose to be fat.
    I think people are too willing to say it's just the media that has convinced people there is a right & wrong body type, rather than, "hang on, why are you fat? What is the point & what do you gain from being like that?"
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    It's true, though, especially on TSR. There's nothing more entertaining than some poor, pathetic girl with zero self esteem posting a load of pictures in a thread entitled "Am I too fat/thin/flat-chested/pear-shaped? Plz halp me I are so unhappy with my body" and watching a f***tonne of ugly, spotty, Vitamin D deficient internet nerds pounce and start bellowing how "that is just not attractive, sorry, if you lost weight off your belly/toned your thighs/had bigger boobs/had curvier hips/a different-shaped ass/looked more like such and such a celebrity I would consider doing you, maybe" when you know that if you take away the safety of their computer screens, they have probably never even touched a human girl. The girls aren't as vicious in my experience, but you still get a similar mix of "I think too many muscles are unattractive, you're too bulky for me" and "you're too weedy" comments which is probably just as confusing to the average insecure teenage male. The moral of this story is that happiness with your body has to come from within yourself, or at most from one person whom you really love and trust, and not from the world at large.
    Very true.
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    Since I gained a little self respect I've considered the idea of a universally perfect body completely nonsensical. It is absolutely subjective and you will never get anybody to agree on what is a perfect body. Whether you are rail thin or morbidly obese, soft and curvy, or toned, or ripped, there will be people declaring your body to be perfect and asserting with all the authority in the world that anything other than that is inferior. I don't consider my body to be perfect but I know that my fiancé does, genuinely. But his is the only opinion I care about. I get compliments and derogatory comments in equal measures about the way I look and I really don't care. I think to set too much store by what anybody else says would be giving them rather a lot of credit in the way of authority to comment.
    Would you say that this is the same for a persons face?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you say that this is the same for a persons face?
    Yes.
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    Since I gained a little self respect I've considered the idea of a universally perfect body completely nonsensical. It is absolutely subjective and you will never get anybody to agree on what is a perfect body. Whether you are rail thin or morbidly obese, soft and curvy, or toned, or ripped, there will be people declaring your body to be perfect and asserting with all the authority in the world that anything other than that is inferior. I don't consider my body to be perfect but I know that my fiancé does, genuinely. But his is the only opinion I care about. I get compliments and derogatory comments in equal measures about the way I look and I really don't care. I think to set too much store by what anybody else says would be giving them rather a lot of credit in the way of authority to comment.
    Just a few things. Granted what a perfect body is is subjective, but would you say there are limits to this? For example, being obese or morbidly skinny have severe health consequences which begs the question - what is the point? Surely perfection means good health.
    Plus, how come you don't go for the body you want? Why stop because your fiancée is happy with it? I know many girls who are happy with my body, but I know that I'm not happy with it/it could be better, so that's what I'm aiming for. Just a thought.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you say that this is the same for a persons face?
    Good question really. Personally I feel there are some features that would be considered universally unattractive, but of course this is also subjective. I think anybody who has put a little effort into the way they look and makes an effort to be healthy can be attractive to somebody, though. If you take my face as an example, I have clear skin, a freckly nose and features that are in proportion. In short, I don't think there's anything about my face that stands out one way or the other. Some people have called me stunning, some people have called me ugly. Who's right? I don't really care. My partner thinks I am the most beautiful woman he's ever met, I think I look normal enough to go about my daily life without worrying about what I look like, everybody's a winner.
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    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    I have a perfect body and so wouldn't know.
    Sorry
    I don't wanna look like I'm stalking you - but do you seriously have a screenshot of a view counter on your profile to make you look popular?

    lol
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    I dont consider my body perfect, though its not bad by any means, i work out 5 times a week. But I still wouldnt wear "anything" as i dont have the confidence...I will only wear things that play to my good features and shade the not so good...bit sad really, that i wont wear anything because i feel confident enough to!
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    (Original post by lm_wfc)
    lol
    Youre the first person who clocked it lol ahahahha
    repped and shh!
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    Just a few things. Granted what a perfect body is is subjective, but would you say there are limits to this? For example, being obese or morbidly skinny have severe health consequences which begs the question - what is the point? Surely perfection means good health.
    I agree with you that good health should be the absolute target for body "improvement" but I fail to see the correlation between health and attraction, excluding the obvious examples of being an extreme weight either way. If you are already a weight within the healthy range then changing your fitness level will make you healthier but is unlikely to alter your weight by more than a few pounds, or to really change the intrinsic shape of your body. What are you then striving for in terms of "perfect" looks? Most of the (female) models the media thrusts in our face as having "perfect" bodies live far from healthy lifestyles, maintaining their low weights by smoking and eating a nutritionally-limited diet. Who is healthier, the size 6-8 girl who smokes and gets her 800 calories a day from snacks, or the size 12 girl who gets her 1800 calories a day from a balanced diet and is fit because she works out? It's a fallacy to connect bodyweight with health without proper evidence of a healthy lifestyle.

    (Original post by Mazty)
    Plus, how come you don't go for the body you want? Why stop because your fiancée is happy with it? I know many girls who are happy with my body, but I know that I'm not happy with it/it could be better, so that's what I'm aiming for. Just a thought.
    I'm unsure why you would assume that I have "stopped" anything.
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    what is a perfect body???

    i am very very happy with my body. but it is not perfect because there is no such thing. i have had lots of BFs who liked my body but why would they go out with me if they didnt.
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    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Pm'd
    I want to receive said PM too :sexface:
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    I agree with you that good health should be the absolute target for body "improvement" but I fail to see the correlation between health and attraction, excluding the obvious examples of being an extreme weight either way. If you are already a weight within the healthy range then changing your fitness level will make you healthier but is unlikely to alter your weight by more than a few pounds, or to really change the intrinsic shape of your body. What are you then striving for in terms of "perfect" looks? Most of the (female) models the media thrusts in our face as having "perfect" bodies live far from healthy lifestyles, maintaining their low weights by smoking and eating a nutritionally-limited diet. Who is healthier, the size 6-8 girl who smokes and gets her 800 calories a day from snacks, or the size 12 girl who gets her 1800 calories a day from a balanced diet and is fit because she works out? It's a fallacy to connect bodyweight with health without proper evidence of a healthy lifestyle.



    I'm unsure why you would assume that I have "stopped" anything.
    From a guys point of view, I don't find models hot, but rather Hollywood actresses who clearly don't look malnourished.
    As for weight & attraction I should have also mentioned that staying on the slimmer side of things emphasises a woman's figure which I personally find attractive.
    And weight & healthy lifestyle tend to go hand in hand. If someone is healthy, they are going to be a good weight, and a good weight usually indicates a healthy lifestyle, whether it be diet, exercise or both.
    From what you said it sounded like because your fiancée was happy with your body, there was no need to improve. My mistake if I misinterpreted it.
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    I'm not entirely happy with my body, but I'm confident. I know how to use it, what flatters it so it's fine!
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    (Original post by truthandtragedy)
    I've seen your photos and you really are fat. I'm not happy with my body, and I don't care what my partner or anyone else thinks of it. It's mine, and if I'm unhappy with it then whatever anyone else thinks won't make me any happier or even more unhappy about it.
    She's not fat. Don't be silly.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    From a guys point of view, I don't find models hot, but rather Hollywood actresses who clearly don't look malnourished.
    As for weight & attraction I should have also mentioned that staying on the slimmer side of things emphasises a woman's figure which I personally find attractive.
    Yeah, that's fine, but that's your opinion (which you are entitled to, and are entitled to think is right) but my whole point was that one person's personal opinion doesn't equal an objective viewpoint, and that two people with equally opinionated personal views can happily disagree over whether another person is attractive and both will feel as strongly as the other that they are right and the other is wrong.

    (Original post by Mazty)
    And weight & healthy lifestyle tend to go hand in hand. If someone is healthy, they are going to be a good weight, and a good weight usually indicates a healthy lifestyle, whether it be diet, exercise or both.
    Yes, but again, that's my point. There is a whole range of healthy weights, and within that range there is a whole spectrum of different body shapes and types. All of them will be found attractive by various people, even if they cannot all agree on one optimum size and/or shape.

    (Original post by Mazty)
    From what you said it sounded like because your fiancée was happy with your body, there was no need to improve. My mistake if I misinterpreted it.
    I mean I don't know if you misinterpreted it, but I think it's clear we have very different ideas about the definition of improving one's body. I consider healthy living to be extremely important, but I eat well and work out because I want to have a family and live to be a good age, not because I want to shave inches off my ass or because I'm concerned with reaching any definition of body perfection.
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    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Youre the first person who clocked it lol ahahahha
    repped and shh!
    pretty sad......
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    My body's not perfect but theres nothing I actively dislike about it. Could maybe do with a bit more muscle on the shoulders but I'll take it or leave it really.

    Im confident that the kind of girl im looking for would choose me over someone with a perfect body but worse personality, lifestyle, friends etc. So, although I do go to the gym a few times a week, im not desperate to change my body ASAP. I'd rather concentrate on my job at the moment so I can have more money and time off to actually meet new people and have fun.
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    (Original post by Jennybean)
    Y I eat well and work out because I want to have a family and live to be a good age, not because I want to shave inches off my ass or because I'm concerned with reaching any definition of body perfection.
    Fair enough & good on you, but why not aim for perfection? Of course by definition it's unachievable, but why not give it a shot as such? Just curious.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    Fair enough & good on you, but why not aim for perfection? Of course by definition it's unachievable, but why not give it a shot as such? Just curious.
    Ok I'm unsure if you're deliberately winding me up or just not getting this. If I don't believe there is a definition of body perfection (and you have just declared it to be unachievable), what would I be striving for exactly? How can you aim for something when you don't even know what it is you're aiming for?
 
 
 
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