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Had an abortion - boyfriend found out! watch

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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    yes ive just looked and it really isnt, damn the stupid person on here who the other day told me it was :rolleyes:


    so, the only two ways of 100% avoiding pregnancy are

    not to have sex
    up the bum

    lol
    Floozy! :o:
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    (Original post by DaveJ)
    Imagine if the male was able to automatically cause an abortion to happen to the baby without consulting his girlfriend. I wonder would all the females on this thread be quite as supportive of one of the parents aborting the child without consulting the other.
    Fantastic post, something i hadn't thought of before.
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    (Original post by alexs2602)
    So? He acted stupidly but that doesnt make him abusive. If OP was more considerate then nothing would have happened in the first place
    Tying her up, shouting abuse at her and breaking into her house is beyond abusive. If that's not abusive I have no idea what is.

    If the OP told her boyfriend she was having an abortion he would have been just as abusive. His problem was that she'd had the abortion, not that she hadn't told him about it.
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    (Original post by samba)
    Better example then: What if he slipped her a pill that aborted the baby?
    (Original post by numb3rb0y)
    I see no way to abort a foetus without either forcing the woman to take drugs or performing some sort of invasive procedure, both of which violate her bodily autonomy and would be criminal without consent.
    I agree with that.
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    (Original post by BrightGirl)
    It's not a baby and it's attached to the inside of her. Let's agree to disagree...

    And no you can't model a completely unrealistic, impossible situation which would never exist, because then the argument is pointless.
    Uber-floozy. :mad:
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    (Original post by samba)
    Better example then: What if he slipped her a pill that aborted the baby?
    It's totally different. The reason a woman is allowed to abort is because she has that control over her body. The man doesn't and shouldn't have control over the woman's womb. That's why abortion is her decision and not his.
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    Tying her up, shouting abuse at her and breaking into her house is beyond abusive. If that's not abusive I have no idea what is.

    If the OP told her boyfriend she was having an abortion he would have been just as abusive. His problem was that she'd had the abortion, not that she hadn't told him about it.
    He would be angry either way? LOL. Then he is just crazy, that's what you are saying? He is illogical?

    :o:
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    It's totally different. The reason a woman is allowed to abort is because she has that control over her body. The man doesn't and shouldn't have control over the woman's womb. That's why abortion is her decision and not his.
    Murder is a choice. Are you saying abortion is like self-defense? :confused:
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    It's totally different. The reason a woman is allowed to abort is because she has that control over her body. The man doesn't and shouldn't have control over the woman's womb. That's why abortion is her decision and not his.
    But shouldn't he have control over the child which he was 50% responsible for?
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    (Original post by DaveJ)
    Imagine if the male was able to automatically cause an abortion to happen to the baby without consulting his girlfriend. I wonder would all the females on this thread be quite as supportive of one of the parents aborting the child without consulting the other.

    if the man did that to the woman i would think he was a ****

    if however men were the ones that carried babies and the man got preg and wanted rid of it i would totally support that, even if the woman wanted it
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    (Original post by tinktinktinkerbell)
    if the man did that to the woman i would think he was a ****

    if however men were the ones that carried babies and the man got preg and wanted rid of it i would totally support that, even if the woman wanted it
    See I would be very unsure, since that's just the same as the current situation except reversed (which I imagine was the point of you using that example). At the moment, I think it's slightly unfair that the man can have basically no say, but I don't really see any alternative is the problem.
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    (Original post by DaveJ)
    But shouldn't he have control over the child which he was 50% responsible for?
    No. If the foetus was growing in a tank separate from either parent neither parent would have the right to destroy it. The only reason abortion is legal is because it's the woman's body, not because it's biologically hers. If the man was carrying the foetus then it would be his choice and the woman wouldn't get a say. It isn't biological parenthood that gives you the right to abort a foetus, it's bodily autonomy.
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    (Original post by UGeNe)
    He would be angry either way? LOL. Then he is just crazy, that's what you are saying? He is illogical?

    :o:
    I was responding to the claim that the boyfriend wouldn't have lost his temper if the woman had 'been more considerate', i.e. had told him that she planned to have an abortion.
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    (Original post by DaveJ)
    See I would be very unsure, since that's just the same as the current situation except reversed (which I imagine was the point of you using that example). At the moment, I think it's slightly unfair that the man can have basically no say, but I don't really see any alternative is the problem.


    unfortunately as long as the woman is the one carrying the baby then the man has no say what happens to it, once its born however that is a different story

    i wouldnt think twice about doing what the OP did if i got pregnant because i know mine and my partners views about abortion differ somewhat (he agrees with it but wouldnt want his gf having one)

    no one has the right to tell others what to do with their own body
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    He wasn't her boyfriend, he was her ex. She doesn't need to be trustworthy, or to have a healthy relationship with him.
    Sophistress was talking in general terms, as far as I can tell, not just referring to this case. Had the latter been the case, I'd agree.

    It also says in the original post that she broke up with him solely because she was pregnant, and it's implied that she did so primarily to avoid the responsibility of telling him.
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    (Original post by missygeorgia)
    Tying her up, shouting abuse at her and breaking into her house is beyond abusive. If that's not abusive I have no idea what is.

    If the OP told her boyfriend she was having an abortion he would have been just as abusive. His problem was that she'd had the abortion, not that she hadn't told him about it.
    Abusive would be hitting her, being mentally abusive, he did neither.

    I beg to differ, I don't think he would have done, he might still have been upset but I don't think he'd have reacted as badly
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    OP, you'll die sad and alone.
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    (Original post by Iota Null)
    Exceptions can and should be made when the partner is extremely controlling, violent or something similar, which sounds like it may be the case here; obviously he would react emotionally to this news, but his apparent history of controlling tendencies also suggests some underlying problems...., but it's possible that the man could have used the baby to create extra pressure to further his aims within the relationship, or simply as more control leverage.
    I think this is the crux. If I am advising somebody that they don't have to tell the guy (which I have done in the past, both to friends and to strangers on the internet) it is more a, "do what you need to do to get through this. If telling him is going to cause you even more problems and worry then you don't have to" not a, "he doesn't have any right to know - he's just a man, screw him".

    And a man doesn't have to be violent and abusive to cause a girl unnecessary complications. Just peruse this thread to see the number of guys who would clearly pose problems to a girl with an unwanted pregnancy she isn't planning to keep. The fact is, this is going to be especially true of younger men/teenagers because they tend not to have the same level of control over their emotions/actions as older men.
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    (Original post by Iota Null)
    Sophistress was talking in general terms, as far as I can tell, not just referring to this case. Had the latter been the case, I'd agree.

    It also says in the original post that she broke up with him solely because she was pregnant, and it's implied that she did so primarily to avoid the responsibility of telling him.
    Doesn't really make a difference.
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    (Original post by alexs2602)
    Abusive would be hitting her, being mentally abusive, he did neither.

    I beg to differ, I don't think he would have done, he might still have been upset but I don't think he'd have reacted as badly
    http://www.google.co.uk/dictionary?a...l=en&q=abusive

    By definition he was abusive. Get over it.
 
 
 
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